Part I is here.8) I've hooked up with a girl one time who said that she had a boyfriend early in the evening, but then after we did it, I asked her about it and she said she didn't know why she said that and she doesn't really have a boyfriend. I think she knew but she didn't want to tell me.
Why do girls say they have a boyfriend when they don't, and then hook up after saying they have a boyfriend for the purpose of getting me off their case? It just doesn't make sense.
9)
Does online dating work?Self-Esteem Stuff/Brain Games/Personal Issues
10)
What's the worst thing that has happened after you've asked someone out (to guys obviously)? What's been the worst rejection you've given a guy and what for? I find it very hard to be on the receiving end of rejection. How do you guys deal with the rejection?
11)
Does going up to a girl and saying "hi" really work? I mean, ok, I say "hi" and then what? It's weird to go up to somebody and just start talking about...what exactly? What if I started talking about the indie French movie I just saw? How do I even bring that up to a complete stranger?
12) I'm a fairly quiet person and I don't really like talking about things that don't really interest me. But for some reason people find silence to be really nerveracking? Do you girls find silence awkward?
Does that mean it's not a good date if you're not talking? 13)
If I do start talking about the things that interest me, I come off all weird and nerdy and geeky, so what the hell, it's like I don't have any options. It's like I get scared to ask questions which I think are going to be perceived as weird or stupid, but crap, it's either that or silence. Any tips or advice on this?
14) Guys, I'm sure I'm not alone but when I talk to a girl I'm not attracted to I can be myself and funny and not really care if she likes me or not. The girl I don't like ends up liking me but I don't like her. But as soon as I talk to a girl I'm attracted to things go 180. I get all nervous, quiet, and start sweating. Um...I just wanted to know if other dudes realize this about themselves.
This is all I can think of right now. So please help me everyone, you're my only hope.
Comments (31)
Nerdy and Weird, as you put it, works for some girls. Talk about what interests you, you'll be surprised. Girls are nerds too, doll. :) good luck
I'm guessing you may have a problem with shyness. I am fairly shy as well, and have trouble getting a good conversation going with people sometimes. I have weird comments to say about things and I am interested in things lots of people wouldn't get. But the thing is, nobody knows I'm shy.
I fake it. I just go up and start chatting to people about whatever. Sometimes we click, sometimes we don't and I move on. I try to talk to people I find attractive as well as people I'm not attracted to. To overcome shyness and awkwardness you have to pretend you don't feel shy or awkward.
Dinner and drink dates kinda suck because they can be like interviews. It's hard getting to know someone like that, honestly.
9)i've never tried it myself but really you need to know their personality which you can only really get from being around them in person they could be totally different.
11)yeah it would show that you're interested and gets them talking to you
12)ugh awkward silences are the worst, if it's someone you really connect with them you should be able to talk to them easily. although saying that i can understand getting nervous when it's someone you like >.< just try to make small talk atleast..
13)if that's what interests you then that's just who you are, no point in trying to change that. it's important that they like you for who you are, not who you're pretending to be.
@ihearthebells@xanga - thanks. who isn't desperate for love? if not, then I pity them :)
If a guy is a creep or leech I usually tell them that I have a boyfriend, worked better before I moved cause one of my guy friends played it up with me....
Online dating is a risky venture...I've known 4 people who have actually married someone on online dating...and of those 4, none are together...at all...
I think the worst rejection I ever gave someone was when they just wouldn't get a hint that I wasn't interested (I had already told them like 2 times very politely that I wasn't interested) and so I just screamed really loud and told him to get away from me before I called the cops...
I would rather have a guy seem kinda nervous then way cocky (for me cocky is just a quick turn off)
As for silences, I sometimes fall silent, usually to see if a guy can carry a conversation of his own, and not just rely on me (I tend to jabber on when I get nervous) and that's just part of a test I pull...
Dude, all of us are geeky and weird on some point in some way, case in point, if you brought up Tolkien or Lewis I would totally geek out over that, I would rather have a guy kinda "Geek Out" about something that was interesting to him, rather then just a limp noodle about everything, better to know what you are passionately geeky about now is my theory...
Deep down, all of us are insecure, and to me while getting hit on is supposed to be a highlight ( can't say I would recommend it) I like when a guy is a bit nervous...but again that's just me.
Have faith and relax, just have fun with the conversations, and if you are seriously having some problems with stuff ask some of your girl friends if you can practice on them to kinda work out your problems...but honestly, a girl would rather have an honest nice guy then someone who seems so practiced they are fake. Good luck!
8) usually so that you don't hit on them. You're probably giving off a needy aura rather than a happy go lucky guy just out at the party having fun. girls can detect it a MILE away.
9) i don't really know haven't done it in a while. but my take is that there are alot of shy and antisocial guys out there JUST like you! so you're competiting with all those guys. however because of the internet they all have BALLs now that they wouldn't have if they were out in public. so you figure it out. how much chance do you think you have against a bigger pool of guys now with the cover of the internet to help them?
10) If you don't learn how to take rejection then you don't deserve to be in the game, its a right of passage for guys to get rejected. the ones who can tolerate the most have the MOST success... so just learn to develop a thick skin, or your best friend will be the HAND. i have no sympathy on that one. it's like some kid wanting to be rich and successful but refuses to study. sorry man dating isn't like winning the lottery. you actually have to WORK at it.
11) yes and no. say hi, and say something stupid like ask her "that's a cute outfit, did you mom pick that out for you?" saying hi isn't weird... you only think its weird cause you're socially awkward.
12) YES it's a horrible date if you're not making her laugh and giggle. If you were talking to your cosplay or W.O.W. friends would you be silent? i didn't think so...
13) what kind of girl do you want? you want a normal girl, yet the stuff you talk about is nerdy and geeky. why dont you just date nerdy and geeky girls that you meet at a convention, otherwise YOU need to change. don't listen to this be yourself. if you want to be yourself then you need to lower your expectation on the type of woman you meet.
14) yes it happens to all guys. that means she's out of your league. fake it till you make it.
sorry if i'm a little harsh, but that is the harsh realities of dating. either eat or be eaten... sorry that you've been shark bait for so long... bout time you did something about it, huh?
if you want to message me on xanga i might be able to help point you in a certain direction.
cheers!