i go to clubs just to dance and hang out with my friends. i go to bars to get drinks and hang out with friends. guys aren't really a big factor, sorry. =/

1) Where's a good place to find single, smart, funny, women? Bookstores (but stay away from the magazine area).  When I was single, I always had dreams that some smart, funny guy with similar reading interests would come up and hit on me when I was in Borders. Never happened. Coffee shops are cool too, especially the small, offbeat ones (read: not Starbucks or Coffee Bean).

2) Do women go to other places expecting to get hit on? This is different for different women. Personally, I brace myself for it, depending on the environment. I'm always flattered by it when it does happen.

3) Do women really go to clubs just to dance? Some do, i.e. myself, as I am a taken girl but I LOVE to dance.  But really, if you're gonna go to a club, you have to be ready for it and not be a b*tch about it if you do get hit on.  Lots of women love to complain about getting hit on in clubs/bars, but I mean, give me a friggin break, you're in an environment where the alcohol is flowing and provocative music is playing. What did you think would happen?!

4) Is it weird for a guy to show up alone at places like clubs and bars? If you just kinda chill by the bar, occasionally trying to dance with some girls, then no.  It gets weird when you try to show off by busting out tons of flashy, not-so-great moves smack in the middle of the floor. That is not hot.

5) When you say you like confident guys what does that exactly mean? When I say that I like a confident guy, all I mean is that I want a guy who doesn't constantly need my validation for everything in his life.  It is very easy for a guy to seem over-confidant in my eyes.

6) Do women look for excitement and coolness-factor before they go for substance and character? Similar to my above response, I definitely do not go for excitement and coolness.  Guys who come off as "cool" or "exciting" are usually assholes. 

7) Do I have to ask girls out when people aren't around, or when her friends aren't around? I think it does affect your chances.  She might feel pressured to say no if her friends don't condone going out with you, or she might feel pressured to say yes to spare your feelings in front of all of the surrounding people.

I've never had a real relationship either so I can't give you much input, but I'd love to answer #2.

Yes, I have gone to a particular place expecting to get hit on...in fact, my sole purpose of going was to get hit on. But this is a special case which involved having hosts trying to pick me up to be a customer at their host club. Not the same, but similar. I'm more than certain that some girls do go places expecting attention from guys.

1) Cafes/coffeehouses! Maybe even libraries, I see plenty of cute couples/cute single guys/pretty single women in Barnes and Noble in my city.

2) Most girls don't expect to get hit on unless they KNOW they're hot or whatever. Don't come off as a creeper... start low, then get comfortable if she's welcoming you hitting on her.

3)Most go to dance, others go to hangout with their friends. It varies..

4) Nah, unless you're confident. If you lack it a bit, take a friend or two with you.

5) Confidence is sexy to us women. When I think of confident guys, I think that he'll protect me.. take care of me, not do everything right.. but at least some of it. But remember, there's a fine line between confidence and OVERconfidence aka cockiness. Don't cross the boundary line into the latter... we catch it fast and don't like it at all.

6) No. Well at least, I go for substance and personality first. Just be yourself.. if you're adventurous and exciting.. be it. If you're confident and sexy.. be it. If you're reserved and intelligent.. be it. 9Learn how to loosen up on the reserved part btw... we don't want to have to DRAG the info out of you.)

7) If it feels right, do it. Who cares if it's among her friends or yours? If she likes you, she won't care about her surroundings.
=]

1. smart women - bookstore, shops that keep school tools and stuf, indie-hippie sheik-bohemian type women - try tearooms, bookstores, music stores, coffeeshops, friendly bookworm women - uhh, bookstores maybe? i really do think you would do good at bookstores. preferably second hand bookstores.

2. ehm, not really. i mean, i never do. or maybe in a way, i will always try to look my best just in case you might run into somebody or just because it's nice to look good, but i definately wouldn't go to a random park and sit there waiting to be hit on. hahah. that's ridicilous. but in the back of your mind, it might happen, so you are prepared. just not always.

3. yes, really. i mean, i do go to clubs to dress up, drink and dance with my friends. i really don't go there to get hit on, or find a man. like you said, it's a bad idea to meet guys/girls at bars and clubs. and i love dancing. and you know, i get your point about staying home and chill out with friends, i do that too, but going out is for me not that different from chilling at home. i think it's just your perception, because you don't like clubbing.

4. well, it's not weird to show up by yourself (knowing that there are people you know) and then move along with them for the rest/part of the night. but actually being there by yourself would be a little weird i think. i mean, with who would you talk, share your beers and stand by. because, you know, you wouldn't immediately the minute you walk in have a girl to talk to or anything. so that would be weird. i would feel weird, anyway.

5. i don't really know how to answer this. i think it's stupid for women to say this and i don't think they mean it. i mean, the examples you give would make you a arrogant a-hole, and being nervous and shit would make you cute in most womens eye, i think. i just think you should have a good sense of yourself, not cityblowing selfesteem or anything. that would be unrealistic expectations.

6. i don't think so. if you would follow a girl with your eyes a little while from a corner of the club, laugh a little and when she walks to the bar, show up there and buy her a drink i think most women would be pleased. you wouldn't have to be bouncin' of the wall. but then again, it's all about what kind of woman you want to attract, if she's dancing like crazy and jumping up and down, she might like that in you, too. if you're not really into that and like it a little bit more laid back, it might work if you act that way too.

7. well, if a group of 10 is staring you and the girl down in a quiet room it would be a little inappropriate (and more painful for you if she rejects you, haha). but in a club or anything you can ask her anytime, or when you're at a party and people are chilling all around. i just think you have to make sure not everyone can hear you guys. for example, if you spot someone in the bookstore, not every customer there has to hear you asking her out.

being in the same age range as yourself... I feel the need to answer these questions. I'm not so sure how well I'll do so-- but I want to :D

1. I'm not so sure there's a definite "place". Obviously, because you are well spoken, and well-enough versed that you can write decently... you are an interesting human being. So. My logic leads me to believe that you would be interesting enough to get to know... thus, who cares about a place? I'm sure your friends are equally as amazing and interesting, yes? Tell them you want to meet a girl who is as awesome as you are. Someone who is not vapid, not made of plastic (unless of course, you're into that sort of thing, you bad boy...), can string some intelligent words together and is fun to be around.. and I'm sure they can help come up with a few girls that you can "casually" meet.
1a. There is nothing I hate more than going out with my friends and having a dude stare at me/my friends all night long. How annoying. I'm not the kind of girl that goes out to the bar to find a casual hook up. So I most certainly do not want skeezy bar boys to pick me up when I've had too many Long Islands.
1b. My kind of girl frequents Barnes and Noble... and acoustic sets at coffee shops... or church, if you're into that... If you're into emo girls, check out the emo kid scene. I'd like to believe that most smart girls like smart music-- good music (although that's stereotyping and making bold generalizations... because everyone likes something different....) But, I've never known really stupid girls to really, really LOVE Ben Folds. Use your noggin. You'll figure it out.
1ab. In order to attract interesting, smart girls... you, yourself, must also be smart and interesting. So. Put that in your indie/bohemian pipe and smoke it.

3. I wouldn't know, dude. I don't go to clubs. I think they're an excuse for undersexed, underage kids to rub up on each other and go home after curfew to find their angry parents sitting on the couch, wondering why they smell like liquor and cigarettes. Clubs are gross. No offense to the folks who go to clubs. I live in a college town (see also- I'm a college student.) and I am not interested in that culture in the slightest.
3a. I have been to a gay bar. And yes. I did go just to dance. I was hella fun.

4. yes. My friends and I would probably point and laugh. Okay, maybe not the laughing part... Because I would feel bad. But. If you're cute enough, maybe we'd ask you to sit down with us. Or. we'd think you're a creeper and run away. This is a difficult situation.

5. Confidence is all about... not staring at your feet when you walk. How is your body language when you present yourself to someone new? Do you have a strong handshake? If you are comfortable with yourself- who you are, how you look, etc... everyone else will be just as comfortable around you. That's confidence.
5a. In conversation... if you have no idea what you're talking about, but you talk like you do. This is fake confidence. 60% of the time it works every time. Or, at the very least, it's really really good for a laugh.
5b. If it's not good for a laugh- and the bitch stares at you like you're crazy... you know this is not the girl for you. Because clearly, she is a bitch. ;) lol

6. Personally? I look for someone who is funny. Who can string words together. Who can make me laugh.
Pretty much, we're looking for the same things you're looking for. Someone we're attracted to, someone smart, someone we have a few things in common with, etc etc etc.
But dude... when you're first meeting a chick. We're looking for a smile. Good hygiene. Do you smell good... Basics. Don't think too hard and over complicate things!

7. shrug. You'll know. But, I like it when it's not in the middle of a group of people.. because if I want to say no- i don't want people over hearing it, you know?

there's my two cents.
i hope somewhere in my rambling, you got a few gems.

:D

1. Try meetup.com
2. There's nothing wrong with genuinely complimenting a person you find attractive. It's flattering. Sometimes ppl come on too strong with the "hitting on" and it's creepy.
3. Sometimes - dancing is a work out and it's fun.
4. There's nothing wrong with go out alone - you can put your socializing skills to the test and leave whenever you want.
5.  We like people who don't hesitate and second guess their every move. If you want to do something, then just do it and see what happens.
6. Substance and character goes alot further than the other superficial crap. Just be yourself. Excitement to one person may mean going for a long bike ride versus going to the club.
7. Read the other person's body language and be confident when you ask.

to be honest, this post kind of creeps me out. the kind of guys i know who would talk like this always leave me feeling very uncomfortable.

but to answer your questions...

1. you can meet women ANY where. coffee shops, libraries, malls, grocery shopping, gym, classes, school, work, ect.

2. you don't go out EXPECTING to get hit on. if the girl does, then she's rather full of herself. but that's what makes it flattering, it's unexpected, to be hit on in line at the grocery store in your sweats is flattering cuz you are yourself and still someone found you attractive.

3. yes. yes we do just go to dance. i love going to clubs, i know i'll get hit on, and i go with the intention of turning them down. i'm going with my friends to have fun with my friends. not some stranger who needs girls to be trashed before they'll give them the time of day. guys at clubs are generally losers.

4. absolutely weird. creepy too. like said above, it's like showing up alone to a party, it's declairing you have no social life. you feel out of place when you're by yourself because you ARE out of place. if a guy was by himself at a bar/club i would stay FAR away from him. he gives off the impression that he is ONLY there in a desperate attempt to try and get laid.

5. it means exactly that. confidence.  i have no idea what you were ranting on about. confidence has nothing to be with being a "macho alpha male" it's about well... having confidence.

6. these go together. i look for a lot of things when looking for a boyfriend.

7. you put her on the spot when other people are around, especially if she's not into you. if the girl is looking around awkwardly and this has happened to you more than once, then stop doing it. clearly it's not working.

side note:

why not just try eHarmony.com  or other dating sites???

1. clubs... but friends party are the best

2. Women get dolled up for some reason u just gotta approach the right way

3. Some girls do. I've been told no enough to know that some girls just go to the club to dance. But remember number 2.

4. Wingman is always good. Girls never want to ditch their friends and vice versa. If you don't have a friend and the girl u've been eyeing does. Your going to get cockblocked

5. For confidence just tell yourself your awesome in the mirror everday until u believe in it. it works trust me but there is a fine line between confidence and arrogance. Confidence is knowing your awesome but being humble. Arrogance is knowing your awesome and doing too much with it.

6. Initially u gotta be exciting at least to some degree. You wouln't want to date a boring girl would u. i know i wouldn;t

7. Do it in private. Nothing wrong with taking a girl to the side abd saying wassup at a club though. Its all about the approach

1) Where's a good place to find single, smart, funny, women?
Honestly, pretty much anywhere. The coffee shop, the mall, the park (although it's easy to look like a creeper there), the beach, at work (use caution), at school, walking in the street... you just need to know where to look, and not seem too eager that you're looking.

2) Do women go to other places expecting to get hit on?
I don't know if this makes me sound vain, but yes, I do... at certain places at least. Often times if I'm going out at night, out to lunch, shopping at the mall, hitting the books at the coffee shop, I usually dress a little bit nicer or put together because I know someone will probably be looking or I will see someone that I want to talk to. I know what men think!

3)Do women really go to clubs just to dance?
Yeah, they really do! I mean, come on, you only have so much fun prancing around your house with your girls.

4) Is it weird for a guy to show up alone at places like clubs and bars?
At a club, yes. Take a wingman, it makes you feel more comfortable and it makes the potential girl more comfortable. At a bar? Nah, I think your good there. Come in for a drink by yourself, sit next or near to your girl of choice, and hit up some chatter.

2) Do women go to other places expecting to get hit on? I don't know about expecting, but any social/public setting comes with the possibility of getting hit on. I have a friend dating a guy from her church - anything is fair game if you can do it without coming off as a creep. The key is to comfortably start a conversation - the place does not matter so much as the approach you use.

3) Do women really go to clubs just to dance?
Yes, I'm one of them. I go to clubs to dance and have a good time with my friends - a guy asking you to dance at a club is like being asked to have your rear dry-humped, not what most quality girls consider the start of a serious relationship.

4) Is it weird for a guy to show up alone at places like clubs and bars? I think so, a guy running solo can give a girl the wrong impression.

Women Questions

5) When you say you like confident guys what does that exactly mean? You have to know who you are and like yourself. Flexibility is good in relationships but dating playdoh is not attractive.

6) Do women look for excitement and coolness-factor before they go for substance and character? Everyone goes about dating in their own way - what one girl looks for first, will not be the same as every other woman. 

7) Do I have to ask girls out when people aren't around, or when her friends aren't around? No but it is easier. If you can work it, ask the girl in private; if not, don't sweat it.

Somebody needs to answer these questions for me-the single life gets old at my age since everybody and their mom is engaged/married (I'm 25 too)