(This post deals with men exclusively. Crazy ex-girlfriends or baby mamas are another post entirely. They fight differently).
I've talked my way into a woman's bedroom and talked my way out of handcuffs. But someone that I just can't talk to in a rational manner is the ex-boyfriend or even worse, the baby daddy.
In the Latino culture of East LA, machismo has a severe hold on us. Men must protect their honor with violence if need be and exact retribution for insults, whether real or imagined. I have seen many men fight over a female; not over the woman in particular but rather because they are the man of the house and must exert their authority. It could be a sister, a girlfriend an ex-girlfriend and worst of all, the mother of their child.
Crazy ex-boyfriends are a constant danger to a man on the dating circuit. You have the military ex-boyfriend who may or may not have known that his lady has moved on. You have the boyfriend paying child support and therefore believes he has some claim over the woman and whom she sees. And worst of all you have the gang banging ex-boyfriend who throws up his set before you even know who he is.
In college I never really had this problem, even though I knew of a few friends who had a situation to a lesser degree. This was something on the outskirt of the college experience. Something not brought up unless it was directly affecting you at the time. But here in East LA you have to get a dossier on the lady in question. Who did she go with before she met you? Was he gang affiliated? Where does he bang? Does she have kids? Where's the dad?
A while back a loyal friend of mine told me about a relationship he had to pass on because her ex/baby daddy was getting out of prison soon and was the jealous type. Another was threatened with violence when he was dating a woman that an ex thought was his. I myself got into a confrontation when I talked to a woman with an ex present at the same party.
Have you ever had this type of situation? Tell me about it, let me know I'm not alone.
Comments (14)
are you sure she's not encouraging him? sometimes they do...behind your back, of course, but they do
@Loonsounds@xanga - I was just gonna say the same thing
That's never happened to me.. hopefully it never does.
lol maybe u should start dating outside your vicinity??? I'm just a few miles from East LA and I know exactly what you're talking about. My rule? I don't date anyone within my neighborhood. I like to think that it's too close for comfort. I've dated people from another city and it seems to have worked out for me. I dont know... but good luck!
I've been pretty freaking sheltered during my entire life up until college so...no. Hope you figure something out.
@eyesochinky@xanga - Where did you get your shirt/dress? It's so pretty.
I'ts never really happened to me. Though my current girlfriend had dumped her previous partner not long before accepting me as his replacement. he wasn't the type to just give up and she wasn't the type to be rude. I warned her that his seeming friendship was just a means of getting back with her but she wouldn't listen, even though i am a man and suffer the same thoughts. Well, turned out I was right and in the end she had to be a damn site ruder than she would have hed to at the begining.
@InTheThin@xanga - I got it a lonnnnnnnnnnng time ago from some small Korean owned store hehe. Mine is a top but I saw a realllllllllllly cute dress from Avon!!!
http://shop.avon.com/shop/product.aspx?from=product.aspx&pf_id=34018&from=search&find_spec=dress&camp=200915&dir_delivery=1&rep_delivery=1
That seems to be happening to my friend. She has a jealous ex (and baby daddy) who is constantly harassing her, and I think that if and when she starts dating again, that could present problems.
@eyesochinky@xanga - Darn. :[ That dress from Avon is gorgeous, but it'd swallow my 5'3" frame.
Nope. Never had this problem.
your definately not alone. Most of the time their just cowardly little bitches especially gang bangers their quick to use a gun but they don't have a sack between their legs.
My boyfriend's ex was furious with me, he left her (7 month before I was in the picture) because she cheated on him several times, when she cheated on him with another girl, that was the final straw (strike 4). She saw me walk into the room (standing next to her newly aquired boyfriend) in a building and half the night I heard random shouts of "bitch", "whore" and "Slut" and all I could think is "thats why he left you, i am none of the above" I was a virgin and she had already slept with more people than she could count on fingers. She came running at me with her fist, and her friend tackled her haha. I could have taken her.
can't say i've ever had this problem
Damn shame. I have never over reacted to an ex with someone new or had an ex threaten anyone new in my life. That is simply uncalled for and rude.