Friday, 03 July 2009
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Big Boys Don't Cry
My boyfriend is a fairly masculine creature. He is the strong and protective type who usually comforts me when I break down. He is always supportive and understanding, a sure fire wiper of said girl tears when I am upset. However, lately I have seen a side of him that is much more sensitive and emotional. Don't get me wrong, I know that men have feelings too and I'm glad that he is secure enough to let me see him cry.
Maybe it's the never-ending stereotype that men don't shed tears, but last night as my boyfriend sobbed in my arms, I felt more than a little weird about it. Of course I comforted him and offered him a wad of tissues when necessary. I love him regardless and I'd rather him be emotional than closed off. Still, I was definitely caught off guard. What do you think about men crying?
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- From: missgorilla
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Comments (47)
My ex cried when we broke up, and he never really cried before in our relationship or ever. His friends even said that when he hurts himself (like breaks a bone or something) he doesn't even shed a tear. I think it's okay. Just not all the time. But that goes for all people, not just guys. I, personally try not to cry in front of people ever.
I feel like this question has been asked before, I remember giving the same answer..0.o
i havent cried since i was a kid and ive gone through some pretty fucked up stuff, but i dont judge more emotional guys. i mean, if he has depression, someone died, his car got totaled, or MAYBE if he went through a really hard break up it could be justifiable. although when i'm at my worst i turn to alcohol instead of tears to solve the problem, neither are good, so take your pick.
I've never actually seen my bf cry...but he's cried over the phone with me before. It was a bit weird to be the one comforting him, but then again, guys who don't cry baffle me.
ive accidentally made my boyfriend cry,
its a strange and rare natural phenomenon
considering hes a rather built guy of 6'4"
@B2yan_C@xanga - aha i agree with your final statement this could make logical sense
I know what you mean, hun. It makes me feel happy when a guy I'm close to is willing to show strong emotions around me, especially when it's something other than anger or something like that.
However, I did have this one boyfriend that was... well... whimpy. No offence to him. He's a great guy and all. But he needs to grow a fucking spine. I realized this was a problem this one day when we were on my poorch and he was crying because of his bad home life. And I understand that. But I was expecting there to be more of me crying seeing as while we both had our rough times I was the suicidal one out of the two of us. I couldn't take both his burden and mine. It felt more like I was the man in the relationship instead of him.
In general it's weird to see anybody cry if you're not used to seeing them upset like that. It felt really weird when my best friend ever (yes, a girl) was crying because of a big dissapointment because it was the first time I had ever seen her cry. Ever. I always thought of her as the gal that could show up any full grown man.
When it comes to guys, though, it's only a problem for them to be all emotional if they're suddenly getting upset more than a girl on PMS.
@Mike_Malignant@xanga - lol
i really don't cry.
however, when people die and frustration gets the best of me then those circumstances change. but otherwise, i'm just an emotionless person.
What's so bad/weird about men crying? I love Real Men who are courageous enough to cry.
i cry when im drunk o.o
In the past ten years I've only cried in public one time: It was at the firefighter's memorial at ground zero. In a fair sized group of people made up evenly of guys and girls, only the guys cried. That was an interesting event.
erm... I've made men cry (by saying something hurtful, shocking or breaking up) so it's not unusual for me to see it... And these guys are by no means the "sensitive" type that we often stereotype with men and tears. I think it takes a strong man to be OKAY with crying instead of bottling all that up. I think it's kind of touching, if he's crying all the time about every little stupid thing, yeah I see a problem. If he cries more than me (i'm a crier from time to time) then yeah I see a problem in handling it. But if it's a significant matter at hand, I'm not going to be weirded out by it; he might be having some serious emotional stress, misfortune in the family, explosion of emotions or all of the above.
I don't think there's anything wrong with it but it also comes down to their family environment in relations to men crying. My brother's sensitive so I've seen him cry when he's upset with his lack of success (in academics, plans, hopes, whatever he set his heart on) and I've never called him names or made fun of him when he broke down. Whereas some of my buddies were raised in a family where a boy crying is automatically penalized for being a "pansy" or a "wuss" so they in turn mock other guys that they've heard about crying. It's really sad when people get like that. But yeah, guys or girls can cry and I will comfort without thinking less of them. :) it's one way of expressing yourself.
I don't mind it. I comforted my ex when he cried because of family stuff, so it's totally understandable.
Men don't cry....boys don't cry..."There's no crying in baseball!!!!"
From my experience, women want their men to show emotion, but unless a family member or friend passes away...Men should never cry. (unless you were friends with Michael Jackson and personally knew him, you shouldnt have cried when he passed, feel sad, sure, but no tears shed)
Many say that they want their guys to cry, but when they do, like yourself, dunno how to react when they do. It is awkward, and imagine at a movie if your guy is crying? Weird. They want their guys to be guys. Like in Friends, when Rachael was dating Paul (Bruce Willis) and when she opened him up and he started crying and getting emotional, it was the end of the relationship...haha
i think its truley sad when a man cries. i can count on one hand the amount of times i saw my fiance cried. but when he did, i never felt weird, or ashamed of him. i just nurtured him, becaue i love him and he needed it
i feel the same way about it that i do about girls crying- it's natural and probably healthy, provided it's not a day-in, day-out sort of thing. as someone else mentioned, no one likes a drama queen- male or female.
my guess is you were raised in a household where males were either not present or did not show the "weaker" emotions. my husband doesn't cry often, but it does happen occasionally. i think it's kind of sweet.
crying is kind of weird, if you think about it long enough. haha.
:)
i've seen my boyfriend of 2.5 years cry 3 times. all three times he had been drinking. the first time it was a few months after a good friend of his died. he was talking about old times with a friend at a party and their dead friend came up. when we went to bed he said that he really missed his friend and he started sobbing. the second time was when we were drunk and fighting, i don't really remember what i said. the other time we were in bed and he was talking about how happy i make him and how he always tells his single friends that its possible to be in a great relationship because he found someone wonderful. he got a little teary eyed and sentimental.
he also cried at his friends funeral but i wasn't there and he supposedly cried a little when we were watching schindlers list but i didn't notice.
i think it shows that they're capable of emotion, which is a good thing. it makes them vulnerable and real.
My boyfriend is a very masculine guy, he is a 2nd degree blackbelt, he has a very high pain tolerance, he is a guy. I dunno. But I have seen him cry, and yes, it seemed a little odd to me, but the reasons he was crying were perfectly acceptable. A close friend dying, his dog dying, extreme pain, being so fustrated with a very fustrating situation, etc. It was all within reason. I wouldn't want a guy who cries about every little thing, but I have no issue with it when it is something big.
My boyfriend and I first started dating, he'd cry whenever we'd fight. Now, he's more comfortable and knows I'm not just going to run off... he rarely cries. I kinda liked comforting him.
I love it when a man can cry in front of me. It shows me that he can be vulnerable and open himself up to me. However, I consider it a problem if he cries more than me!
Watching a man cry is probably one of the most heartwrenching things ever. I don't know how to comfort them either... Guys, do you want a hug? A joke? Me to just sit there silently?
At the same time, I think I'm better friends with the men I've seen cry than with those I haven't. In a weird, unspoken way, it's kind of a bonding thing I think.
I don't see anything wrong with a guy crying, but if a guy would cry more often than I do then that weirds me out a little. Anything overly sensitive coming from a guy weirds me out anymore. I'm not being stereotypical, I'm just thinking if I'm more emotionally stable than a guy then that's pretty pathetic. Miss ya girl!