Fmylife.com contains short day-to-day life anecdotes. A simple recipe: in one sentence, each site visitor can tell the shitty moment which ruined his day. These short stories must begin with "Today" and end with "FML".
Here are our favorite five submissions from
F*** My Life this week:
Today, I sent pictures to my ex of me and my new boyfriend in bed. He sent them to my dad. FMLToday, I finally had sex with a girl I've been dating for over a month. Before we got started she told me not to worry about the birth control because she could handle that. So after we finished I asked her what kind of birth control she used. She said she meditated. FMLToday, I was shopping for rings with my fiancée. We spent over 2 hours selecting the perfect ring and diamond to match. When filling out the paperwork I discovered I left my wallet at home. She had to pay the 20% down payment for the ring. FMLToday, my girlfriend decided to bribe me to be good since we were going out to dinner with her parents by giving me a blowjob. The good news: it was one of the best she had ever given. The bad news: I came on her black dress. She responded by hitting in me in the nuts. Hard. FMLToday, my girlfriend missed our date, so I text her angry, telling her if she can't make our dates then we should break up, and generally telling her off. 5 Minutes later I get a picture message of her sleeping in a hospital bed from her mother saying "Shut the **** up, she had appendicitis." FMLmaybe birth control girl should've read our
seasonique post from this week...
Comments (16)
The last one is a great example of why you should try to call first.
The second last one is brilliant.
O M F G those are funn-ee!!! TY for the link!!!!
the first one was a clever idea.
I can barely stand to read this site because it makes me cringe so much.
All I can say is wow on the last story. :\
Yeah....the person in the last one kind of missed the boat on that one, haha
Wowwww @ the last one lol.
Haha worst one is the meditating birth control. What happened after that?!
I feel bad for laughing... but its pretty funny. I like the whole dinner with the parents... i would hit my boyfriend in the nuts too.
first second and fifth. LOL. wtf!
LOL PURE OWNAGE .
LOL.
XDmeditating birth control?!
that last one is so bad, that guy doesn't have an effed up life, he's just stupid and a horrible boyfriend for not even knowing about his own girlfriend's health!
Today, my girlfriend decided to bribe
me to be good since we were going out to dinner with her parents by
giving me a blowjob. The good news: it was one of the best she had ever
given. The bad news: I came on her black dress. She responded by
hitting in me in the nuts. Hard. FML
LMAO!