Miss AlligatorI met my boyfriend soon after I started college, so that might be the reason that we never went on a "real date" until we were officially together (and even then, in nine months, we've only been on three). I didn't have boyfriends in high school, because I was just too busy with academics, along with the fact that I was way too angsty (but that's a different story, haha). Even then, I'm not all that sure that other high schoolers ever went on dates before being "official". The dates I imagine that people don't seem to be having are the ones I remember Cory & Shawn going on in Boy Meets World (I watched that show religiously about 10 years ago, so maybe the whole actually dating thing is just out of style now?)
In college, it seems like other couples got together the same way that my boyfriend and I did. They start as friends, begin hanging out a lot, feelings develop on either side, someone makes a move, and then if the people involved decide they want to make things official, they'll do so by putting it on Facebook (It's sad, but I think some people see it this way: It's only official if it's on Facebook :P)
So I wanted to know, does anyone these days go on dates before they become official and have the title of being in a relationship?
Comments (77)
Yup, I went on three or four before it was "official" with us. I wouldn't do it any other way.
I've been seeing a guy for about a month now, we hang out almost everyday and have gone on many dates, but it probably wont be 'official' for another month or two.
idk i guess i just considered our casual ways of hanging out that led up to us kissing as sort of "dates" - even though they just werent called that. we were best friends for about 5 years before we kissed, but just before it happened, we both just felt that it should, i think. idk. i think going somewhere fancy and formal would have made it weird - we're not that type of people. it might have felt pressured and awkward. but what do i know lol i'm cool with an afternoon of trying on/making fun of shoes that are way too expensive, indoor mall frisbee, and...the rest.
I only go on dates with guys I really don't know well. It's just so awkward if you're best friends with a guy and you decide to go to a fancy restaurant alone with him; maybe it's all right if it was a one time thing just to be cute and make it more "official." But if you already get along great with a guy and follow each other everywhere, why do you need to see him in a restaurant/movie/etc. setting to officially date?
I didn't in high school; then, it was more the hanging out-hey, I like you-we're together, cool-let's-go-on-dates thing. I didn't really date in college, and I wasn't in a relationship. After college, though, I've been all about the dating - we definitely have to DATE (not necessarily exclusively) before deciding whether to be an official couple.
Luckily, with my current, the dating didn't stop there. :)
Yup, I went on dates with my boyfriend for almost 2 months before we became official.
For the sake of clarity and sanity, I think it is only official when it has been declared official. Wayyy too soon to say you're a couple after ONE date. If you know the person pretty well, it would still apply. The date(s) is supposed to be a feeling out of the other person to see if they are compatible. Who knows maybe the two will click enough on the first date to seal the deal... but I'd go on a couple more dates before saying we're official.
However, I think history can be revised and the couple can say they were "official" after their first date, later on. If that makes sense ;P
I kind of wish I had gone on dates before it went official, but we didn't. I don't think it really matters.
I don't think it matters really. I like that me and my boyfriend were official before we dated.
yes, people still go on dates before making it "official." that's the norm from what i've observed.
We went on one date, and that was impromptu. Honestly, I would've liked to have gone on some old-fashioned planned-out date dates before we became official, but it's alright that we didn't; we fell in love anyway. Guess I'm just old-fashioned. :)
i still don't get exactly what a "date" is. am i dating every time my boyfriend takes me out to dinner? it just feels like going to dinner, which we used to do before we were a couple anyway. so what makes it different now?
anyway, in early hs i did not date because i was basically not allowed out of the house. i still had a bf though. then when i learned to drive, i went out more but i still did not date because dinner is family time for both me and my bf. in college i didn't date because i don't know what differentiates a date from just going to dinner with a friend, since all my friends are guys and most of them had interest in me at one point or another. so was i dating all those guys? i thought i was just eating.
I'd like to actually know who I'm dating before I'm dating them so I'm in the friend stage right now, and if things work out right, soon we'll be going on dates.
My past mistakes in relationships were going out with the person after hanging out only three times. You don't even know someone as a true friend after three times, let alone get involved romantically.
Well that's how I do things now.
i feel like dating is for those who are out of college....
like in college your usually surrounded byt he opposite sex ALL the time. like in the dorms in class outt o parties so you're in constant contact. and like you said you usually meet other guys casually and then you guys click n the decide to hang out moreee...and its usually easier when you're i college and living on campus cause i mean...what else are you going to do?? ya know? i mean its easier to say come on over to my dorm room...then come on over to my house. i dont know maybe its just me caus ei have suoer strict parents. but yeah i mean you start hanging out with them...feelings develope and then finally he maybe says want to go to dinner and then its official. and then the dating kind of starts AFTER.
lol but yeah i understand what you're saying. i prefer this over dating anyway. i feel like dating takes too long and its hard to really get to know the person and it alwasy feels forced and fake. when you go on a first date with someone its all the generic ques and it gets old.
I thought going on dates before making it official was normal. I think the "hanging out" thing only applies in college.
When I hung out with my boyfriend before we were in a relationship- we didn't want each other to know that we liked each other. Having a "date" would mean that one of us was interested. We were best friends- so we had "friend dates", or just plain ole hanging out one-on-one :) So yes and no.
HAHA. My ex fiance "hung out" with a girl for about 4 months as "friends", then they started "seeing each other" which means he basically lived with her, and then 4 months into that they are engaged to be married at the end of this month. Is it possible to skip straight over the "dating" and become engaged and married, all in 9 months? i know what your thinking...but he swears that he didnt get her pregnant.
Well, they weren't really "dates". However, we did hang out a few times, before becoming official. The facebook thing is dumb though! Sure, I change my status on there but he doesn't ask me to be his girlfriend by changing his status to 'in a relationship'.
My boyfriend asked me one night on the phone "I want to date you officially."
I was in shock and giggling at the same time. So I made it clear, black and white....."You want use to be exclusive?" Here I am thinking "he must think I date different guys at the same time." Lol
His response, "Yes, I want us to be official....exclusive"
Been with him every since.....btw...that conversation was after two dates :P
I went on three dates with my boyfriend before we became official. We were pretty much a couple before, but I still made him ask me!
What exactly do you deem a "real date?" And how can you become without going on one first? It's like going to college first and then going back to high school. Doesn't make much sense.
Guess it depends on your definition of a "date", but my fiancee and I went on several "dates" that we wrote down in letters and sent to one another (I was in Australia, she in Texas) for just over three months before we made it "official".
...UM YES. I go on at least three to four, before it's 'official'
That does seem to be the trend. But on the bright side it eliminates confusion and competition, haha.
Pft! If I say I wanna date someone before I go out with them they're gonna think that they're the only one I'm interested at the time anyways so it might as well be official. Even so, I don't really have the time to go on dates except maybe on special occasions, and even if we do have the time to go on an offical date it's not like us has any money to go anywhere nice. The nicest offical date I've been on that counts as a date by others' standards is a nice lunch at a pizza place. By my idea of a date the nicest date I've ever been on is when my current boyfriend took me shopping for my birthday and we looked at different outfits we thought I'd look sexy in. And this was using the money my mother gave me for my birthday. He and I were both broke. Thus going with the whole not having money thing. So going on real dates is pretty pointless. That stuff is only for people in their mid twenties and up that are actually employed with a job that's a bit better than minimum wage.