Thursday, 02 July 2009

  • Is It Wrong to Hang Out with Someone Crushing on You?

    Today, I got a text message from my boyfriend and it said something along the lines of, "is it wrong to hang out with someone one on one, if you know the other person has an interest in you, but you don't in them?"

    and I replied, "well, if you don't have an interest in them, do what you want"

    I realized that might have been the wrong answer, because it got me thinking. Is it actually wrong? I then asked him if it was and didn't know if it was either.

    So tonight we were talking, and I asked him again, and at the end of the night he said, "I wouldn't do it. I wouldn't want to give off the wrong impression"

    That sounded right, right?

    But really, everyone, is it wrong to hang out with someone one on one if you know that person is interested in you? Would you do it?

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Comments (119)

  • jc_freedom@xanga

    No it's not wrong but honestly for the best interest of the person who likes you, stay away from them.
  • thunderbreaker@xanga

    That's really relative to the situation.


    Personally, I always want to be around the person I like, even if they know I like them and they don't return your interest.  You start seeing them more as people than as love interests.
    It's a relative thing, with the deciding factors being how important the person is to you, and how the person himself/herself deals with romantic interest and moving on.
  • UnknownJY@xanga

    i think it is wrong.
  • fueledbylaura@xanga

    @stfuHaylee@xanga - Who has enough time to type all of that ?!


    I think if you do have a boyfriend / girlfriend, its okay because the other person can't realy slipt you up. And as long as your significant other knew about it.
  • haloed@xanga

    My best advice? Don't hang out with someone that has feelings for you.  If they get the wrong impression from you, it can go too far.  Even if they know you are taken, to some people (and in my case) it did not matter at all.  They still pursued me, and then accused me of lying about my boyfriend.  It's horrible.

    Just make your intentions known to be only friends with them, and that you have no interest in dating them, QUITE clear.  I would still avoid it as well, avoid them focussing on you much.
  • stfuHaylee@xanga

    @goofball4@xanga - haha, yeah, I got carried away :p
  • stfuHaylee@xanga

    @fueledbylaura@xanga - me, unfortunately. I had nothing to do yesterday :p
  • anonymous

    woah i will go out by not alone with him,i wil only hang out wif my admirer if there is a GROUP DATE:)

    but anyway there arennt any guys like me for now,so im free of admirer stuff haha:)

    sometimes i do mind if girls like my boyfriend but what can i do rite?:)
  • aznflower@xanga

    @FogOfConfusion@xanga - I agree. I don't see why everyone's saying that its wrong. I think that if the boundaries are clearly defined. It shouldn't be an isssue. Especially if you were friends beforehand. I wouldn't hang out with someone who I just met (alone) even if they weren't crushing so yea. 
  • OldFashioned@xanga

    wrong...
  • SliverLines@xanga

    I don't think so as long as you make it perfectly clear beforehand that you are not interested in them that way.
  • sarzonwheels@xanga

    i don't think it's wrong if you're A) trying to get a feel for what they're like to see if you might be interested, too or B) you make it clear with him/her that you are not interested in taking it any farther than friendship. sometimes the other person doesn't want to hang out anymore (which sucks when you want to be friends with them), but it's important that they know. you don't want to be a total ass and lead someone on. 
  • caminjammers@xanga

    idk if it's wrong but if you're hanging out with someone who has a big fat crush on you and it's just you two, they're probably getting the wrong idea, or extremely high hopes. 
  • FogOfConfusion@xanga

    @aznflower@xanga - alot of people don't like confrontation or uncomfortable situations. then they have to deal with it and make a decision that someone might not like. peoples feelings get hurt. it is a fact of life. you can't avoid it. if you ignore it, it won't just go away.
  • Miss_Independentxx@xanga

    I disagree. I know it might not be right but end of the day you can't help how someone else feels, and through life your going to get people that like you and you don't share same feelings. If you have a boyfriend, the only way i think it would be wrong is if you give the other person the impression that your interested too. It just depends on trust in you & your partners relationship - if your partner can accept that some your boy friends, or girl friends like you in that way, aslong as they trust you enough to know you'd back away if the other person started to act on there feelings.
  • mulleina@xanga

    I do it all the time.  But I always make it known how I feel.
  • backward_glance

    I would avoid hanging out alone with someone who had a crush on you if you weren't interested in them, even if you used to be friends before and you've made your intentions clear.  No need to stop seeing them altogether, but I imagine it would only make it more difficult for them to get over their crush if you kept hanging out alone with them, regardless of what you say to them (they might see it as your actions/behavior contradicting your words and hang onto the hope that you will return their feelings).  Once the feelings are resolved, then perhaps it will be ok --until then though, better to hang out in a group.
  • SweetCinnamon

    I'm totally guilty of this.  I've tried to maintain a friendship with an ex-boyfriend who is completely in love with me, while I have a boyfriend.  It hasn't worked - it has resulted in both the ex and my boyfriend feeling resentful, and I have come to the conclusion that the ex and I can never have a true friendship anyways if he has more than platonic feelings for me.  Friendships only work when both people really want to be... well, friends! 

  • Richal@xanga

    @kriskris92@xanga - I agree with those stipulations totally.  If you're already friends, it's not leading on, it's carrying on as usual.

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