I've done that before. I pretended to be oblivious and when it got to the conversation that I was interested in someone else and it was going somewhere, we stopped hanging out. Long story but that's the gist of it.

I don't think it's wrong as long as you make your intentions clear. Especially if you have an SO.

I would never do that... but that's just my opinion. I feel that it is wrong to lead someone on(even IF you have a boyfriend/girlfriend) by hanging out one-on-one. But  if you must, just hang out in a group so you don't have to be with the girl however long the hanging out goes.

A girl that liked my boyfriend wanted to hang out one-on-one with him, but he didn't want to. She knew we were dating, but to her- there was probably a little sliver of hope in her mind. Just because you're dating doesn't mean you're married. But when she talks to me, she tells me that she never wanted to hang out with him one-on-one. kiinda scary. She gets mad whenever she saw us holding hand, sitting beside each other, and tickling each other. I don't think she is that way anymore, so it's gooood.

Unless you tell them flat out you have no interest in them (not just drop hints) then, do what you want. I know I wouldn't just hang out with someone that had an interest in me without at LEAST doing that first.

Yeah, its wrong. And I agree. It would give off the wrong impression.

I wouldn't do it. I'd leave them alone until they moved on.

actually, my boyfriend and I have gone through this recently. I've known one of my friends since I was about twelve, and over the past couple months we've gotten very close. he became interested in me, but I didn't feel the same way; I love my boyfriend. the friend that was interested became extremely flirty and started calling me cute names and being sweet all the time, and I didn't really think much of it. then one day, he was talking to one of my best friends and basically said that my boyfriend didn't deserve me because he never made me happy or something along those lines, and I told my boyfriend about it. I was trying my best to be open with him; at the time this was happening [about a month ago maybe], we'd been having problems being open with each other and communicating. he got very upset, although he wouldn't talk to me about it, which upset me. anytime he would get upset, he would go and tell our best friend about it, and I'd have to find out about something I'd done wrong from her. well, I ended up hanging out with my friend and his best friend one day. I made the plans before I told my boyfriend about them, but I didn't feel right sneaking around to hang out with other guys. I knew there wasn't anything wrong with us hanging out because nothing would happen, but if I didn't tell him, it would feel wrong and like I was cheating on him. I told him I'd made plans and asked if he would be mad, and the first thing he said to me was, "why are you going to hang out with him?" this kind of threw me off; I told him that the guy had been my friend since we were about twelve, and I wanted to hang out with him and his best friend. my boyfriend didn't sound too happy about it, but he told me that he wouldn't be mad if I did. I'm very touchy about being controlled; I've been in a controlling/abusive relationship before, and I refuse to deal with it again. I thought about it and decided that if I didn't hang out with my friend just because my boyfriend wouldn't like it, I would feel like I was being controlled, so I ended up hanging out with him. I took pictures with him and his best friend because I usually take pictures with all my friends, every time I hang out with them. I posted them on MySpace, along with a bulletin telling my friends about my night, which I do sometimes. the next day, our best friend blew up on me; we had the biggest fight we'd ever had, and we've been best friends for about eight years. she basically tried to tell me that I had feelings for the guy, that she knew me and knew I wouldn't have chilled with him if I didn't because I knew that it upset my boyfriend. she said many things that I couldn't believe she would ever say to me, including that if I didn't stop talking to my friend that she wouldn't "allow" me to by with my boyfriend anymore. she told me that my boyfriend had talked to her about it, and said that he was very upset about the entire situation. naturally I was very upset with the both of them; her, for assuming things and blowing up on me for no good reason, and him for telling me that it wouldn't bother him and either flat-out lying to me about it or not telling me when he realized that it did bother him. I ended up talking to him about it, but I definitely went about it the wrong way because I said, "so apparently we're breaking up?" of course he had no idea what I was talking about, but I told him what our best friend had told me and then he decided he'd tell me how he really felt. he said that he really didn't like that I hung out with my friend because of how the guy felt about me; it made him uncomfortable. he said many things, and ended with telling me that if I didn't stop talking to/hanging out with my friend, he would leave me. he said that he didn't want to leave, but he didn't feel comfortable being with someone who had someone else with feelings for them "on the side," which really upset me all over again; he made it sound like I'd cheated on him. we spent basically an entire day arguing about it, and we never argue. he ended up saying that he could tell that I didn't want to stop talking to my friend, and that bothered him. again, this went back to the control part; I felt like if I stopped talking to my friend just because my boyfriend didn't like him, he would be controlling me. on the other hand, if I didn't stop talking to him, I would lose my boyfriend. I thought long and hard about what to do, and ending up deciding that, even though it didn't feel right or fair, I was going to stop talking to my friend; he wasn't worth losing my relationship over. I made my opinion very clear with my boyfriend; I told him that I didn't feel right about it and that I didn't think it was fair, and he said that, in the end, it would make him happier. he realized a few minutes later how selfish that was, but he still stood by his word: my boyfriend or my friend. I stopped talking to my friend, although after I explained things to him he had quite a lot to say about it. well, last night, I was talking to my friend's best friend, and I mentioned something about my boyfriend and friend meeting so that my boyfriend could see that he had nothing to worry about. my friend ended up talking to me again and saying that he didn't think that them meeting would be a good idea; he had tried apologizing to my boyfriend numerous times, but my boyfriend just ignored him. we kept talking, which I told my boyfriend about and he didn't seem too upset about, but then my friend asked me to talk to my boyfriend to see if maybe he would change his mind. just the way he said that made me feel like my boyfriend was controlling me, and I decided I would talk to my boyfriend again. we had another very long conversation about it last night, and he ended up telling me that he didn't really mind if we talked, but he would be happier if I didn't. I asked him what he would do if I hung out with him again, and all he would say was that he would be upset. I asked him why and he kept saying he didn't know, which I didn't believe. I told him that there had to be a reason, and he eventually said that he got really jealous when I hung out with him. I asked why he only got jealous of him, and he said he didn't. I think he said that he got jealous of everyone I hung out with, but it was especially bad when it was him. I asked him if it was still the same as last time: if he would leave me if I decided to start talking to/hanging out with my friend again, and he said that he wouldn't leave me, no matter what. he said that he would be happier if I didn't talk to him at all, but I told him that I would be happier if I could be friends with him again, and I think he realized how selfish he's been then.

overall, I don't think that it's wrong to hang out with someone who has feelings for you if you're in a relationship, as long as you trust the person and know that they aren't going to try anything. however, I know that if my boyfriend hung out with a girl that he knew had feelings for him, I would be worried and incredibly jealous. that being said, I think it depends on your relationship with your boyfriend/girlfriend and the friend that you know has feelings for you.

Disagreed.
It's not leading them on if you've told them you aren't interested. Especially if you have a SO.
Although you should talk it over with your SO and the person crushing on you to see if it's ok with both of them.

The person crushing on you should know that you have a SO.
You should know that you have a SO.
Therefore it should be crystal clear that nothing will ever happen.
Unless, you're cheating on your SO [[in which case why are you still with them!?!?!]]

Oh and if you used to be friends with someone and then they developed feelings for you and then you dropped them like a hot potato. How would that make them feel? They were being honest and you rewarded them by ignoring them. Lovely. Would you like it if that happened to you?

Nope. It's not wrong. You can't be responsible for what someone else feels. It's their choice to beat themselves up or get the "wrong impression".

It hurts them to be with you; hang out, have fun, enjoy your company, and then later when they're thinking about how great you are, it's unfortunate that you don't have the same interest for them and that you're with someone else. Why do that to someone you actually like (in a platonic way)?

No matter how clear you make it, the person that's crushing on you, will rationalize to death to justify their own reasonings. Yeah, you have no way of controlling how that person feelings, but you can at least control your actions by hanging out with them less for a while. Not disappear from the face of the earth, but explain to them that you don't want to make it more difficult and it makes you uncomfortable because...well it should. I know some people tend to feed off this ambiguous feeling, they say no but they want to see you and say they do, which is confusing because the person crushing on them might take it as a window of opportunity and later feels led on or used. That's not how you should treat someone you like (platonic or non-platonic) and if anything, you should try to make it easier for them to handle the situation better by giving them some space and time to figure things through...

My best friend in the world of 5 years is in love with me, and I have a boyfriend.

I can't do anything to change his mind and he knows damn well all we're ever going to be is friends.

@proudsmartypants@xanga - That pretty much sums up my take on it, ha. Agreed.

That's a tough one...sometimes it's bothersome being a girl because many of the guys you're friends with but not attracted to will like you, and then you have to deal with either bringing the subject out in the open, which could potentially kill the friendship, or you could put it off, increasing chances that the guy will fall harder for you. Lose-lose situation...personally, I won't bring up the subject, but if the guy does flirtatious things, I don't respond to them in a way that could mislead him. I keep him just at the right distance, never doing anything that would suggest that I like him as more than a friend.

Then again, I refrain from saying anything that would indicate I have NO interest in him; he might then lose all of what little hope he had and stop talking to me, feeling like the friendship is useless when it's still very important to me.

It's frustrating.

It will probably the crusher the wrong idea... which could screw things up for YOUR relationship. I'd say its only wrong if you don't confront them that you're not interested... otherwise, confront & see their reaction.. if they're cool, then hangout.