Miss Rhino
I've always joked that, for me, kissing is like a handshake. It doesn't hold much meaning. I took the advice to heart that you have to kiss a lot of frogs in order to find your prince. And believe me, I've kissed a lot of frogs. But it's gotten to the point where kissing has become so nonchalant for me that I'm missing out on that first kiss glory that everyone speaks so highly of. At first I let this realization roll off my back. When I have my first kiss with someone truly special, I'll know it, and that kiss will be different. Fireworks, rainbows, shooting stars, I'll see it all. But now I'm starting to get scared... what if I miss my perfect first kiss because I'm not paying attention.
I'm shaking hands all over the place, but do I ever stop to actually listen to what their name is? Another frightening realization. I used to keep a list of every person I had ever kissed. Pathetic I know. But when I first started keeping track it didn't seem so silly. I didn't abandon the cause until there were names squashed in every corner of the page. Startling to think about how many people I'd actually gotten that close to. Even more startling were the ones I had to give nicknames to because I couldn't quite remember who they were. "Guy in Street" is still my favorite simply because he is the most elusive. Followed closely by "Guy in Cancun First Name Starting with F Last Name of German Descent."
It was easy to see I had gotten out of control with my friendly gesture of shaking hands. Sure a kiss is a kiss. But what happens when that kiss is the beginning of something else entirely and I can't even remember the name of the street in which it took place? Guy in Street could have really been something special. The one who got away.
I guess this is more of an epiphany than a question for you all to help me with, but I'm glad I've finally made it. Kissing isn't merely a handshake between strangers. And even if it was... what would that make sex? A high five? Now there's an analogy to ponder.
But in all seriousness... by kissing every John, Bob and Sally that come my way, have I been missing out?
Comments (31)
You're just upping your chances of some sweet cold sores....
If a kiss is a handshake to you, it'll never be a kiss.
lol @ sex being a "high five."
HA!
i have kissed a lot of guys, too... but they were never (and will never be like) a handshake to me.
I've only kissed one person and I grew to be very close to that person. It holds different meaning for different people. To me, it's a very intimate activity, only to be done with those with which you'd have a relationship.
A kiss is a kiss but when you have a special bond and chemistry with someone, it becomes more than a kiss. It's not the kiss itself that matters but what you feel toward that person whom you are kissing.
mouth herpes. mm.
Um..sorry to burst your bubble, but there probably won't be fireworks, rainbows, and shooting stars the first time you kiss someone you *might* love. The closest I ever got to an electric kiss was the first day I had my first kiss, when my boyfriend and I had only been trying out kissing for a day. It was the first time for both of us, and we were shivering from the excitement and new feelings. I've never had another kiss just like those, but ones I have now are exciting, passionate, sensual, gentle, loving...no rainbows form over my head, but hey, I'm happy.
Don't expect too much.
i would have considered sex the handshake and the kiss to be the hi5, kissing is something you should share only with someone special not everyone.
sex is just like saying hello in another language (not that i do this often)
i dont know, maybe i should start kissing more, then perhaps i might find mr right a little sooner.
You can't get std's from handshakes or can you...?
This makes you sound kind of sleazy.
At least you've stopped!
If you think kisses are handshakes, then the kisses hold not meaning, no emotions. To me a kiss is special that should be given or received when the time is right wit the person you like. I have only kissed 1 guy, my bf, and although I won't be able to judge "which frog is right," I know that I had and still have a reaction to his kiss. Some people describe it as fireworks, chemistry, rainbows, butterflies, etc. I can't use those term to describe mine because it's a feeling that's hard to describe in words. It's a different feeling for each person. Yes, I think you are missing out because you think a kiss is a greeting. There is a reason why you greet strangers with handshakes, friends with hugs and bf/gf with kisses because it helps you distinguish your relationships with people. Kisses are for the person you care about and love and I don't think it should be given out freely like that.
Maybe what you are missing is to build a relationship with a guy before you move to kissing him. From what you've said, all the guys you've kissed are insignificant to you; you don't like them like that. If you build a relationship with a guy and have all these emotions build up just because of him, then perhaps you will find your "special first kiss." I believe everyone should experience their special first kiss and I hope you do too!!
@Meowmeowkimmaee@xanga - Same here
people do tend to take advantage of kissing and go around kissing "strangers' as if it was a handshake. Dont get me wrong nothing wrong with that. You get to experience different things with different people and find what you like. i had my share of frogs (lol). Kissing isn't really a big deal. People kiss strangers at clubs, bars and etc. As long as you stick to the pg-13 and dont sleep around you're fine. Nothing slutty about that, besides if you sleep with a few men then you find out what you like also, as i mentioned earlier. nothing over the edge numbers though lol.
Be open minded. Men sleep around and its okay, so why cant a woman do the same? It helps you find yourself and you get in touch with your sexual side.
I really don't think so. I like to kiss but usually I only kiss people if I like them. However I can tell the difference between the I like you kiss and the I know you are something special kiss which has only happened with one person so far. When you kiss that right person, you'll know.
I've kissed only 5 people in my life, and only my SO's lips excite me (and have from the very first time we kissed). I'd say that you are making kissing less special by doing it with so many. Like eating too much ice cream at once. Maybe you should hold out for a while.
Things like kissing only mean what the individual wants it to mean for them. There's nothing wrong with kissing someone for no other reason than you wanted to. It doesn't make it less special or less important than if you had only kissed one person. It's all about perspective and you shouldn't (not that I think you are) take other peoples' perspectives as your own if you don't want to.
yes, you're definitely missing out. kissing, at least in my opinion, should be special. it's sad that you just kiss whoever you want to.
let's hope you don't miss the special one(s).
If you don't know someone then there's no way their kiss is going to have some great romantic affect on you unless you let it. It's not about the kiss itself, or even who you're kissing. It's about the bond with the person you kiss. If there is no bond the kiss isn't special. Kisses are something that I have used VERY sparingly. Heck, I've even been reluctant to give a freaking hug! I just don't like physical contact all that much. But that doesn't change the fact that such physical signs of affection have different meanings depending on what I think of the person that is giving them or that I'm giving them to.
I've kissed my other SO's and yeah, it was nice. But the kisses usually became more special as my bond with that person grew closer. My current boyfriend is still the only person that I can kiss back so pationately. No fireworks or rainbows or whatever. Sometimes I get nothing more than a small smile out of myself. But there are times when he can make my heart pound and my knees grow weak from the way he kisses me. And I seem to have a similar effect on him. Yet there was this one time when I was with this idiot friend of mine who had gotten drunk. He had me come over so he could "talk" to me about something, then he suddenly grabbed my head and pulled me over and kissed me on the lips. I was traumatized. I still shiver a bit thinking about it. Mainly because I just don't think of him in that way.
Same thing with hugs. Hugging my SO is different from hugging my friends. Depending on how close a friend is to me the hug will be less awkward. In some cases I'll be excited just because it's a hug, but only with people I have a bond with. And of course there are some people I practically refuse to hug at all, because they're strangers. Then when I hug my SO, sometimes it can be just like a kiss, just because it's him. And I know sure as hell that it wasn't like that from the begining.
So you can give out your kisses as freely as you want. It won't change the meaning when it's with someone special. But it's probably not a good idea to kiss so many people because it is possible to catch oral STDs that way.
It will be special when it's with the right person but if you keep whoring your kisses (I didn't mean to make that sound as mean as it does) then it won't be special with anyone.
wow, i'm in shock that you think kissing is as easy as a handshake. but then i don't like shaking hands a lot unless it's business related or first time awkward meet through friends. and kissing a lot of people like that is bound to mislead them, have you ever thought about the aftermath of your "greeting" when you deemed it "normal" but the guy get confused because you did it so easily? maybe you kissing them easily has screwed up your chances to meeting someone in a genuine level?
to me, kissing is intimate. it's as intimate as holding hands and that I also don't do very often. how can kissing; lips coming in contact with lips, occasional tongue depending on how you kiss people, be as non-intimate as a handshake!? i don't understand that, unless you greet them kissing on both cheeks EUROPEAN style. even THAT misleads people if you happen to be asian because it's classified as a 'socialite' or 'white-people' thing to do....(generally).
I think you should change up your methods. Your Prince Charming might not be the type to kiss a strange girl he has met and cold sores happen SO easily, let's not be careless, eh?
Sally's too huh? You'll learn to get tired of giving handshakes here and there. When you least know it, you'll be shaking hands with The One.
Hahaha, I love Bleach... they used that line in one of the books (kissing is like a handshake).
I've only kissed two guys and hope never to kiss any more than that. :) Because I just want to keep on kissing the one... :)
There's a definite difference between kisses from strangers and kisses from someone with whom you're in a relationship. Just like kisses are better when you're feeling emotionally connected to an SO than when you're not. At least in my experience.
I haven't kissed many people mostly on the basis im a germ freak...and guys i have kissed were previous boyfriends only.
@Meowmeowkimmaee@xanga - Agreed.