Miss Walrus
For the first time ever, I can say that my relationship feels safe.
Let's just say that when I was in high school & my early college years, I was addicted to drama. I also gravitated toward men with a similar affinity for it - which did make for some pretty Oscar-worthy fights in the school cafeteria - but not much else. I never felt "safe" per se with any of the creeps and weirdos I dated then.
And although I'm proud to say that I've moved past my high school drama queen days, I can't say that I've lost my fervor for drama all together.
It seems like everywhere we look - everything we watch on T.V. or the silver screen, every book we pick up at Barnes & Noble - there is a conflict. Conflict and drama drive our world. So, isn't it only right to think that every relationship is - or should be - sprinkled with a little bit o' drama?
Well, my current one isn't and it's driving me insane. I'm almost to the point where I feel that I need to create some in order to feel satisfied. My guy is sweet, charming, attractive and ALWAYS knows what to say. I honestly can't imagine myself fighting with him because even when a fight-worthy situation arises, he knows how to fix it in the most flawless way.
And it's
extremely boring.
Have any of you ever had an experience like this? Does love need some kind of drama to exist - or have fairytales & romantic comedies tainted our idea of how love works?
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Comments (31)
My boyfriend & I do whatever we can do avoid drama in the relationship, even though there really was never much to begin with. And we're still madly in love :)
Try experiencing something new together to add that spark. A new activity, place to visit, type of food... anything.
Fighting is something you never want to do with a SO. BELIEVE ME.
Drama are created in fictions, movies, televisions, etc., to keep our interest going. I mean, if there is a show with no conflict or drama, they would lose a lot of viewers. In relationships, it may apply to some in others, it don't. Specifically in my relationship with my hubby, we have no drama and I'm glad. Why would I need drama to keep my relationship interesting? Can't we both just be happy and enjoy our relationship because we both see eye to eye? Maybe what you need is some thrill in your relationship to keep it interesting rather than drama.
I've ended relationships with guys because I got bored. Thats why I love my current situation. We never have serious fights but we play fight a lot and don't agree on everything. Drama is fun to watch but to never be a[art of. I would never want to intentionally start something.
I'd rather have a "boring" relationship than one loaded with drama, but that's maybe just me.
That's kind of weird...I always like gossiping about the drama other people are getting into, but I usually don't like it myself. I can usually humiliate the girls I get into drama with using truthful public arguments since I'm pretty good at debating, but they just tarnish my reputation behind my back, spreading lies about me so people view me differently.
my ex and i had no drama in our relationship, and i loved it. we only had drama after we broke up. my friends caused enough drama for the two of us.
my current guy.. though we're not together, we always have had loads of drama. it's calmed down somewhat in the past year, and i prefer it that way. it's easier when it's a comfortable, safe relationship/enviorment for me. i like things being stable. if i feel that they're not, then i freak out and cause drama, which makes it worse.
so i don't think you NEED drama. maybe it depends on each person, you know?
save the drama for fictional tv shows
who cares if your relationship may be boring, it's better than having a soap opera and getting into situations of doubt and mistrust
No. you do not need drama.. obviously you're not over the "high school drama queen" phase if you're LOOKING for drama in your relationship...seems like you have it pretty good. get over the drama and just be happy damn it.
i guess im pretty low key cause the drama has stayed minimal in most of my relationships. my current boyfriend and i dont fight. except for those petty "grr your a jerk" kinda things..but that doesnt really count :]
So u think ur relationship is "boring" because it's sweet and smooth sailing? What is wrong with you? Drama leads to negative emotions toward each other and a lot of heartache and tears. I don't know why you would even want that. You should be glad and satisfied with such an understanding SO. Are you the type that wants drama in your life but regrets it when it does happen? If so, you watch waaaaay too much TV and drama series. You should learn to be grateful for what you have b/c there's no use regreting it once it's gone. Be happy!!
I think we like drama because it makes the drama-free moments so much more fulfilling and we're more grateful for them.
I abhor drama. All Teens see on TV is Drama, so they live it, how sad.
"The only thing men are good at, universally speaking, is destroying the things that make them happy."
I guess that applies to women, too. As for me, I'll take relaxation over melodramatic bullshit any day of the week. If you feed off of that stuff, it just seems to me that you probably didn't come from a good home.
i mean i understand what you're saying but I dont know causing unneccessary drama with the BF to make things more interesting doesnt sound like the best idea to me.
i think you guys just need to go find something...like an activity or SOMETHING other then fighting to spice things up...
but i understand you get bored easily..as do i. but this relationship seems to be good for you so dont do anything to taint it.
I think drama makes relationships suck. I like to feel safe, and I like to not argue. Me and my boyfriend don't argue, and we're not bored. Maybe it's because we don't live off drama.
My boyfriend and I have our fair share of drama, just a little bit of it here and there now. It used to be a lot more frequent and a lot worse.
I like having basically no drama.
Talk about drama...lol it isn't between my SO and I! More like his sister injects all her drama into our lives. Imagine having a sister who is jealous of her brother's SO that she would try anything to mess things up for them... YUP! She's one big mess even in her own relationships. STAY AWAY FROM DRAMA PLEASE! : )
If you fight all the time with someone you love, isn't that NOT love?
Or am I the only one who thinks this?
Anyway, good for you, I guess...
ummmm no. I like drama-free friendships, relationships... everything. Drama is not cool. Yet.. some people adore it...? Dont get that.
"He is sensible and so incredible
and all my single friends are jealous
he says everything I need to hear and it's like
I couldn't ask for anything better
he opens up my door and I get into his car
and he says you look beautiful tonight
and I feel perfectly fine
But I miss screaming and fighting and kissing in the rain
and it's 2am and i'm cursing your name
you're so in love that you act insane
and that's the way I loved you
breakin' down and coming undone
it's a roller coaster kinda rush
and I never knew I could feel that much
and that's the way I loved you
He respects my space
and never makes me wait
and he calls exactly when he says he will
he's close to my mother
talks business with my father
he's charming and endearing
and i'm comfortable
But I miss screaming and fighting and kissing in the rain
and it's 2am and i'm cursing your name
you're so in love that you act insane
and that's the way I loved you
breakin' down and coming undone
it's a roller coaster kinda rush
and I never knew I could feel that much
and that's the way I loved you
he can't see the smile i'm faking
and my heart's not breaking
cause i'm not feeling anything at all
and you were wild and crazy
just so frustrating intoxicating
complicated, got away by some mistake and now
I miss screaming and fighting and kissing in the rain
it's 2am and i'm cursing your name
i'm so in love that i acted insane and that's the way I loved you
breaking down and coming undone
it's a roller coaster kinda rush
and I never knew I could feel that much
and that's the way I loved you oh, oh
and that's the way I loved you oh, oh
never knew I could feel that much
and that's the way I loved you"
Wrestle each other for fun.
eh, I'm not bored. because one thing will come along that really annoys you and it will come along frequently. and more often than not, you're not going to know how to approach it because he's such a good guy except for this one thing!
that creates whole new drama in itself. no worries. some will always be there, if you like it. me? I like boring. being mad is a state of being that I detest. ?! ugh. (sorry, I am actually currently mad at him right now (12:44 am my time mad at him!) so if this post seems a little...off, that'd be why.)
i totally hear you! my old boyfriend and i never, ever fought, but i was often indifferent towards him. new bf and i have already almost broken up like twice- in four months!- but it's kind of more fun. it's energetic and volatile and entirely more interesting.
i think the trick is to have a little drama, but also be safe. my current bf and i fight because we care about each other, and so emotions run high, but that doesn't mean that i don't feel safe with him. i think what motivates the drama matters.
I can totally understand where you're coming from. I don't like drama in my relationship all that much, but drama keeps things interesting and keeps you from going crazy. The way that it currently works out for me and my SO is that everything else in the world is just a bunch of drama. The only thing we ever fight about is him calming me down because I'm complaining to him about something else I'm upset about. So I guess it's not really a fight.
He and I were actually just dealing with a bit of a snag in our relationship only a few minutes ago, but the reason why it got fixed so well is because it's just like yours. He's sweet and sensetive and pretty much always knows exactly what to say to fix everything. I feel safe in my relationship. The key is that I get my drama from stuff around it. Y'see, his mom's a b****. And I have trouble dealing with that. Especially when I'm in a very hormonal state. This causes drama. Which keeps things interesting. Then Mr. Perfect steps in and calms me down and comforts me and we end up going back to doing the "boring" stuff which keeps us stable and allows us to get ourselves ready for dealing with the next bout of drama.
You're right, it's normal to desire drama what with the influence from media and all, but it doesn't mean the drama has to come from your relationship. I've been with guys that liked drama in the relationship. I always was the one to dump them.
If you need drama then try to find it in something that isn't caused by your SO but rather by something surrounding your lives together that you can get your drama from without involving him in it and seek his comfort when you're done. I think. I doubt I'm perfectly right, but I'm sure something in there can help you.
Also, listen to the above suggestions about spicing it up other ways and finding thrill rather than drama in your relationship.