Heartbreak is rough.
Lump in your throat. Pain in your chest - sometimes ribs. Exhaustion. Weight gain from the gallons of ice cream consumed. Puffy eyes from salty tears. Wet pillow from crying yourself to sleep. The list of side effects runs longer than some cheap anti-depressant, and it only gets worse the more you allow yourself to sit in silence.
But, as my friend has realized, nothing heals the pain of a heartbreak quite as fast and as effectively as burning her ex-boyfriends' possessions.
(Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.)
Despite it being 85 degrees on this summer night, at exactly midnight, she gathered everything he gave her, everything she planned on giving him, and she wrote his name a thousand times on several sheets of paper. After finding matches she went outside and let it all burn by the pool. His smell dissipating in the air and being consumed by the oxygen-hogging phenomenon. The flames turned purple and her eyes softened. For that moment, at least, she was not thinking about how she wasted almost an entire year on someone who actually told her he did not care about her. For that moment, she was just focusing on the flashy warmth in front of her. His name crusting and turning to ash in its grasp.
It reminded me of a bonfire I attended once - not the one with my church recently, but one a year or so ago. Everyone in the large group stood around the fire pit and was told to write a secret down on a small sheet of paper. The secret could be something small, but the youth leader was hoping that you would write a profound secret; one that ate away at you from day-to-day. We all did as we were told and threw the secret into the fire and watched it burn. I felt as though a weight had been lifted off of my shoulders. I did not have to carry it around with me anymore. It was over.
Fire has the incredible knack of healing quicker than time. Eventually, feelings will flood back to her, as they did while we talked this morning, but for the time being, she is feeling better. And the fact that she actually burned some things that he probably will want back when he remembers she has them gave her a small feeling of triumph. A small triumph which overpowered her previous glee of having the last word and then hanging up on him.
She will be fine. As she is finding out, heartbreak is just a part of life. No one wants it, but everyone eventually experiences it.
True
Comments (22)
I would have skipped the "writing ex's name 1000 times" part. That takes too long. But burning things sounds fun.
i should really try this out. i think fire really can heal a lot better and faster than time. really, if we just sit quiet and wait for the pain to go away, it'd be more painful and crazier. we should just let it burn.
I did the same thing...but only with letters, drawings, and other paper artifacts. I kept the teddy bear and the mangas. I was too attached to them.
@KasumiCelesta@xanga - i would have skipped that also, but i think i'd write down all my regrets on a paper and burn it. ;)
I get the idea, but I don't really think printing out all the documents I have on my computer to burn would be a good use of paper. Besides I may need them in court one day. (:
fire really does heal. that's why i burned all my old journals. it was healing.
Fire makes everything better.
I thought fire meant passion which meant sex...haha
But the things the help me get over someone super fast is flirting a lot, hanging out with tons of people, anddd sex.
Coincidentally I did this yesterday. Burning the photos, "love" letters and the other things associated with him and the other exes was extremely satisfying. You don't need these things to hold you back so I applaud you.
P.S I kept the build-a-bear and the accessories that came with it because it's adorable and doesn't deserve to be destroyed. :)
@RunningMan42@xanga - hahaaha makes sense.
Hmmm, I think I'm going to go do that this weekend...
Maybe it's the fumes. Haha.
sounds fun :D
It probably works very well,,, but the act of departing from what was once so meaningful seems so difficult.
I'll try this. thanks.
1000 times...woah. Sometimes I'll burn my tissues when I've been really sick, but I'm not really trusted with lighters and matches... :D
It does heal. I've done it.
@pizo_Okie@xanga - haha. well, maybe you should tone that skill with fire so you can use it one day. :P
I tore aboutmy ex's college sweatshirt once with my bare hands, lol. I was sooo angry.
heartbreaks are a part of life, and i would never want to burn those stuff. because it's a part of my memory. however painful it is. I think having that final closure, is the most important thing to help one let go
Burning stuff is AWESOME. Fire! Fire! Let it burrrn! >D
*pyromaniac*
-Kunoichi
that's interesting...i bought a cello and i've played it once in rememberance of my guy who is not interested in me...its like i found something i can caress and look at that won't go away...anywhere....its right by me lying on the carpet not going away....its kind of comforting to have a feeling that even though something you cared deeply about is lost, something else is takings its place....also i flirted, dated, and am seeing my current SO and hopefully, the feelings I have for my cello will translate to my current SO ....maybe get a pet if not allergic?