Tuesday, 30 June 2009
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Faithfulness Versus Loyalty
I am not really in good terms with people who consider that a guy or a girl who's currently in a relationship but gets a "fling" or two is normal. I just hate the idea. Pardon me for that.I have a groupmate, older than me and us, who considers the fling or the third party normal. According to her, that's just the way things go. One cannot prevent it from happening. One way or another, it will happen in a person's life.
Upon prolonged conversation, I have picked up another principle of hers.
It is now rare that we can find a man who is faithful. Majority are just loyal.
So, I asked her what's the difference. According to her, faithfulness comes with a man who, no matter what happens, sticks with his girl. Thick or thin. Good times or bad times. No side steps. No second glances. IT'S JUST ONLY HER.
Loyalty comes with a man who, no matter how many girls he sees and dine out with, no matter how many girls he messages and calls, how many flirting styles he manages to showcase in a day...COMES BACK TO HIS GIRL. Side steps are common, BUT HE COMES BACK TO HIS GIRL AT THE END OF THE DAY.
...so, what do you think of her opinion?
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- From: icze_einjhel@xanga
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Comments (40)
In that case, I'd rather have a faithful man.. and so far, I do.
I'd want a faithful man... but I don't like her views on "third party" thinking either.
I agree with the faithful part, but I think the loyal part needs some tweaking...
faithful -- not straying once, maybe a few glances, but not taking action at all, thinking about just that one person like you said
loyal -- being there for a person no matter what and treating them right.
when you're faithful..you still come home to YOUR MAN
She's going to be one of those people who dies in a nursing home after going insane talking to herself.
@Jess - 100% agree with you.
I think that the definition of loyalty isn't really right, but at the same time, I don't know how to define it. And I highly disagree with her third-party idea thing as well. It's not inevitable; you just need to control yourself.
If your with someone why would you be dining with other girls or guys,, and flirting and calling and messaging them? I mean you could have friends of the opposite gender but it shouldnt anything more than friends.....
Idk.....i guess everyone handles there relationships differently...
Your friend is very confused. If a guy is "loyal" by her definition it's most likely that he just doesn't want to give up how she lets him take her for granted, which is a guy not worth your time. The only way that my guy would ever consider another girl would only be if our survival and/or our relationship depended upon it. Like if when we're married we're in a bad financial situation he would be willing to "play" another girl if he had to to make sure that we got by.
Also, this doesn't make sense because of how she's only saying this for guys. Because in order for a guy to have these "flings" there have to be enough girls out there that are doing the same thing. So not only is her ideal inaccurate, but it is also sexist and slightly ignorant.
Trust me, there are plenty of faithful guys out there. Just about any guy will be faithful for the right girl.
People who do that should be burned at the stake.
It's human nature. I doubt human beings are supposed to be the "mate for life" species. It's natural to have many partners. I doubt it's normal to be in ONE relationship for a prolonged period of time without taking some side-steps. The chemicals in your brain that induce "love" can only run for so long..
When you say "loyalty" it makes it sound as though the relationship is forced for some reason. Like, in the end, the dog will return to it's master because of the loyalty it holds for them. That's just me.
-Kunoichi
She is sadly confused on what is "normal" and what is "right".
Maybe it's just me but without faithfulness, there is no loyalty. However your friend tries to explain it and cover her and her other friends asses, they're not grown up enough to handle a real relationship with one partner. Please hand her a dictionary next time you see her. Thanks in advance.
@Dare2BDiferentt@xanga - I second that, my friend!
Loyalty is 24/7. Not at the end of the day when he gets bored of flirting.
This is stupid. Both words almost means the exact same thing. Tell her to find a new word for BF. Like fairweather friend or something.
According to my thesaurus, 'faithful' and 'loyal' are synonyms. You might want to tell your friend that.
She needs to meet some better men.
WTF
they are a synonym of each other and mean basically the same.
She's right. But her definition of loyalty isn't finished. It's when he comes back, and he hasn't stopped loving/liking her. He can't come back for comfort purposes if he's loyal. He has to actually want to be with her, not just be around her.
I think this friend of yours has a very...well, uh, sexist view of relationships. I can't very well explain what I mean by that because it was more of an intuitive feeling than something that was glaring me in the face, but it seems that her concepts of relationships are both anti-woman and pro-woman.
I'd take a loyal man over a faithful man any day, to be honest. A loyal man will always love me. A faithful one...maybe not so much?
of course id rather have faithful. but its so true how its easier to find loyal than faithful. that does NOT, however, mean that it should be accepted!
ummm... isn't faithful the same thing as being loyal??
somehow it just sounds like someone wants to do a little cheating without being called a cheater...
According your friend's definition... can I please have both?
obviously your friend has some major issues. to be faithful, you would have to be loyal. so in a way both faithful and loyal seem to be the same thing. her definition of loyal is completley ridiculous in my opinion. from what i get from her definitions is that a loyal boyfriend is someone who can do whatever the heck he wants with other girls whenever he wants to but as long as he comes back and pecks her on the check telling her that he loves her at the end of the day, he's still a "loyal" man. your friend needs a good slap in the face and get a reality check. she honestly must be dating pretty much every loser in the entire planet to feel this way and seeing as she is allowing the "third party", she must be one of those so called losers in the women/girlfriend department as well. i've never heard this type of definiton of men but i'm not surprised. i've actually heard from people that there are two types of men in the world: beaters or whiners. so where does this person's opinion fit into your friends? the faithful ones are the whiners and the loyal ones are the beaters? i'm not sure what anyone is thinking when they come up with the types (including the one i've recently heard before) of different men. i think we should leave it as men are men and if you so happen to find a good one that makes you feel good and treats you well, keep him. if he doesn't treat you well, doesn't make you feel good, then ditch him.