Okay, so while I know this may sound petty and somewhat trivial, I'll have you know it is becoming an increasingly difficult matter in my life. The truth is, I'm a picky eater. And when I say this, I mean it big time. I'm not just a little bit picky, I'm a lot picky. I have developed somewhat of a "food phobia" of the years, and one of my absolute worst fears is being forced to eat food that I don't like. Here is where my boyfriend comes into the picture.
He is great about understanding my preferences, and he accommodates them whenever he can. We have no problem whatsoever when it comes to working around my eating issues. However, his food-loving family constantly invites me over for dinner, and dodging their offers is becoming quite the chore. I'm not just talking his immediate family, but his entire family. Every relative that we visit automatically decides to serve up something deemed "delicious", and I'm stuck there turning three different shades of purple and trying to come up with a potential excuse.
What can I do? I don't want to hurt their feelings, but I've never been able to get over this problem. I'm not one of those people who can just "suck it up" and eat what I don't like. I've tried explaining how I feel, but they don't seem to understand how bad it really is. Have any of you run into a problem like this?
Comments (31)
No, since I don't eat.
Your gunna hurt their feelings regardless. I dunno, tell them you have bad allergies and have to bring your own food, as certain spices or whatever give you an allergic reaction. But bring it up with your boyfriend first and see if he is okay with you telling them that. You dont wanna piss him off too.
Although if he accepts your eating issues, why doesnt he just tell them your a picky eater?
I'll eat anything so I dont know what its like, although I try to avoid family dinners at all costs because of the argueing that goes on between them.
perhaps your boyfriend can talk to your family and let them know your favorite dish. it'd be sweet on his behalf, and if his family accommodates, you'll see they really like you :)
@Dare2BDiferentt@xanga - HAHAHA. you always seem to be the first to comment on the "ishes" and your comments always make me laugh. XD
I've never really had this problem specifically, I mean I can definitely be a picky eater, especially about meat, I'm really weird about it. I don't eat a lot of meat at home, mostly just fruits and vegetables and I don't know, other random shit that isn't meat. but at my boyfriend's house his mom loves to make pork chops (and various other sketchy meats) which kind of freak me out! I just kind of politely say that I don't really eat meat, but thank you anyway, it smells and looks delicious!
Then I just plow mad other food that is available. Just be polite about it and don't be freaked out cause cooking is definitely something that people can get really offended about if insulted!
hope this helps.
I'm like that too, thankfully his family just leaves me alone! XD
I HAVE EXACTLY THE SAME PROBLEM. I'm a very picky eater and I can't be forced to eat almost all the "delicious" foods out there. Eggs, for example, I can't eat. If anyone tries to force me, I puke it up. Even the smell gets me. Same goes for fish. But it's not just about the smell; I can't eat strawberries either! I can have strawberry ice cream, but not actual strawberries. Same goes for kiwis, mangoes, apricots, pineapples, etc. I also can't drink milk [and no, I'm not lactose intolerant]. Sometimes I just tell people I'm allergic to those things, but deep down, if I could, I'd love to eat them.
What I do eat mostly is pasta, tomatoes [I love tomatoes, I can eat a bag of 2lbs and I eat them like apples], peppers, apples, grapes, soup and when it comes to meat, I only eat the breast of a chicken. I hate Chinese food, so if I'm forced to eat some, I usually get chicken teryaky [sp?]; pretty much anywhere I go, the choice is chicken ceaser salad. My boyfriend's family is also a big eater and every time we have a big dinner, I just come, eat something that I'm comfy with and then I say I'm full and I apologize.
My mom hates my eating habits because she makes the same food for me every day and she'd like me to be less of a picky eater.
At this point, if I ever swallow my pride, I'd want to go to a doctor and see what's wrong with me, I took psychology in school, so I know it's just a mind thing and that if I looked for help, a therapist or someone could help me.
Until then, I keep saying I'm allergic to almost every foods, or that I'm dieting so all I can have is salad or that I'm full or I just don't go and make and excuse that I have work.
Good luck to you!
I have always been a picky eater, and it even is embarrassing around MY family when I only take meat and a little bread.
Offer to bring food you like and have your boyfriend make something so it doesn't look like you're only taking from the food you made.
Tell the relatives/immediate family straight up... or just be like "I'm allergic to ______" works every time xD
I have this problem too, except not to your extreme. My bf has got me to try new foods and I've added new foods onto my "like" list. If there's something I don't like in a food (peas for example, I cannot STAND them), I pick it off and usually no one's really offended. Or I give the stuff I pick out to my bf, or whomever else would want it.
Allergies works wonders, but then you'll always have to remember to get that engraved in their brains every time. If you can do that, I'd recommend that.
No matter what, you're going to hurt their feelings. And even though it feels like a chore to reject their offers. You have to keep doing it. After awhile, they're going to get tired of it.
Another suggestion: why don't you help cook something that you will eat?
When I was younger if I went to someones house that had food I didn't like I would just say that I was allergic to that particular food or something I knew they had put in it. That usually didn't happen to often though as I usually wasn't to picky. Now that I'm older I'm more honest. Like when I first started dating my fiance his family was big into eating meat. Like they would have some meat product and maybe one other side dish if that. Well I used to be a vegetarian and am still not that big a fan of meat, especially meat with bones in it. Its weird i know but for some reason I can distance myself from the fact that it came from a living thing if I don't see bones. I told him that and then he explained it to them and not only were they understanding and since then over the past 3 1/2 years at every family gathering they make sure to have some sort of boneless meat for me.
So I'd either go what was meantioned by someone before about saying you have bad food allergies, or just have your boyfriend talk to the for you and explain the situation. They might be really accepting and if not its better to find out now then later.
say you're allergic. works like a charm.
Get over it...
Well I'm a vegetarian and my boyfriend's family is definitely not. They have invited me over for dinner quite a few times so far, and they have found a way to be understanding and make it work, so we have had things like macronni and cheese or pizza (home-made) or we've had bbq and i brought over my own veggie burgers. I think the key is talking about the issues you have, and discussing what would be a good meal with your boyfriend and then he can bring it up with his family. For example "she really loves pizza, maybe we could make some when we invite her over for dinner" or something. If you are actually that picky it's totally unphantomable, I think you should probably see a nutritionist or something, that can't be healthy.
I'm the same as you. I'm such a picky eater & I hate the idea of having to eat something that is just not appetizing to me. Or being forced to eat it. Unfortunately, when this became an issue with one of my ex-boyfriend's family, he would tell me to get over it & would be a real jerk about it. I agree with some of the other comments about having your boyfriend tell his parents to make something that you really like.
You should ask him to intervene for you. If not, you can convince them easily enough by throwing up all over their tablecloth, but...that's a last resort.
I'm a picky eater as well but if they offer and I refused and they still offer, I take it and eat what I want to eat on the plate. If not, I give it to my husband. I'm sure they don't expect you to eat the whole plate. Just bits.
You can always tell them you ate before you got there or just bluntly tell them the truth. If not, just avoid going to their houses all together.
No, I will eat most crap thrown at me. I consider myself a slightly adventurous eater and will try anything that comes my way.
Yes! My step son has been impossible for years. He won't touch anything with vegeatables in it and unless it's pizza, hamburger helper, or Shake N Bake, he's a bore and a nightmare to feed. I'm tempted to just let him prepare his own meal of choice when he comes over, but he can't seem to do anything for himself. He's not a bad kid. Don't get me wrong. But he's 15 and so spoiled rotten by his mother I doubt he'll ever be able to do anything for himself let alone be truly grateful for anything that's done for him. So yeah. Best just tell your mother the truth of it, that your willingness to try food out of your repertoire is absent and please understand, you'd like to eat with them, but you'll just bring something with you... make it a potluck offering so to ease the stigma a bit. The advantage of potluck meals is that everyone gets what they want and can refrain from anything they don't.
I don't hate the food his parents serve.Â
I just hate their family friends who say ignorant things all the time.
Making excuses won't work in the long run. Â Just tell them you've eaten next time u're over and that's that. Say you have a medical disorder something permanent preventing u from eating 'their food'. Â If u plan to be with your bf for a long time then u WILL need an excuse that will be permanent. Â Medical conditions are often the best just say it endangers your health or something. Â It may sound lame but trust me it works. Â
I'm not a too terribly picky eater, but I don't like meat. I'll eat chicken, but red meat just makes me ill. Without fail, every single time I go to my husbands parents house, they either have steak or hamburgers grilled on the grill. That's another thing. I HATE grilled food. They always cook them up about 2 hours in advance, so they're cold, hard and disgusting. I would stomach them for a while, but the last time we went, I just refused. I said "no thank you" and ate whatever else they had.
You're going to have to learn how to eat whatever is in front of you. were you spoiled as a child?
@Pcgecko85@xanga - ditto, on the adventurous part
I actually kinda feel bad for the picky eaters.. they miss out on so much good stuff, and they know it and can't do anything about it....
If this relationship is going to work then both you and your boyfriend need to sit down with perhaps his mother and show your appreciation for the offers, and then explain everything the way you did. Most people understand not liking food, and being honest will be more appreciated in the end then lies and being mislead. Offer her suggestions of what you do like, and explain that there is no need for "special accomodations" and if nothing else you would love to come to events just to spend the quality time together.