Monday, 29 June 2009
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The Definition of Clingy: A Texting Faux Pas
My boyfriend is a great guy. So great, I've written about him before here on Datingish. But our relationship has been long-distance for nearly two months now, and I'm really starting to feel it.At first things were fine; we texted for about half an hour when we woke up in the morning. Not much conversation during the day as we were both busy, and about an hour to an hour and a half before bed each night. All texting. He says he hates his phone voice, and we've only spoken on the phone maybe three times.
Lately, there is no morning conversation at all. Still nothing during the day. And instead of our nightly conversations, it's more of a, "How was your day? That's good. I'm going to bed. Good night. I love you." At first I figured he was just busy and/or tired as he works the graveyard shift. But it wasn't for just one or two nights. It's been about a week. I mentioned it to him last night, and he accused me of being desperately clingy. I told him all I needed was a decent conversation once a day, I wasn't asking for phone calls every few hours. He agreed to try to communicate more. It got late, he went to bed.
Today, he tried texting me like I asked. It was brief and slightly awkward. An obviously forced conversation. Upon noticing it, I told him that I'd talk to him later: to relieve him of his obvious resistance toward me. About half an hour later, I got a text from him. Although it obviously wasn't for me: "I don't like really clingy girls, and she is really clingy right now. It is driving me nuts to be honest."
I responded simply with, "Good to know, babe."
He texted apologizing, saying that he's sorry and that his friend asked and he was "just telling her" although it is how he actually feels. I was short with him. I told him, "it's fine. I'll give you space." He responded with how he'd call me when he gets home tonight so we can talk about it. He loves me, he's an ass, he understands if I hate him... yadda yadda. Pretty much no further conversation since.
1) I don't hate him.
2) I'm not mad either. I'm hurt.
3) Am I being clingy? I could be totally oblivious to it, but I really need someone to smack me in the face and tell me if I genuinely am.Have you been the victim of a texting faux pas? What was your reaction? The end result?
Any further questions, feel free to message me.
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About the Author
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- From: surferchick4990@xanga
- Name: Amy
- About Me: "If you want something, go get it. Period." -The Pursuit of Happyness. I'm Amy, I'm 19, and I genuinely love life. Give me sunshine, warm weather, and my country music and I'm a happy girl. =)
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Comments (114)
@surferchick4990@xanga - Sorry; I hadn't seen the other link. The one re texting is the one that caught my eye. I asked that cause that happened to me once with someone I met online.
A guy should never talk about relationship problems with another girl. That means no good
i don't consider it being clingy.. considering you guys are long distance.. but.. i'm a girl
youre definitely not being clingy.
i think your boyfriend just needs to work on communicating with you
in my past relationships i've been afraid of being called clingy
so i would stick to waiting for my boyfriend to text or call me
because i figured he would talk to me if he wanted to
however it turns out most of the guys felt like i never wanted to talk to them
or that i didn't like them because i wouldn't start any thing with them haha
i
ignore him for about 2 weeks .. i gaurantee he'll come running back to u and won't leave u alone .. works everytime.
Not clingy at all . You've been reasonable to not make him call you every second and etc. In fact, he should praise you for that. You two should make a phone call and talk about it. Good luck :]
I don't think you are being very clingy. But I also think that he's really being an ass. What kind of relationship is it when all you can do is text because "he hates his phone voice"....wtf.
You couldn't be less clingy if you were a piece of butter thrown against the side of Hell. For a good relationship, I think you're asking him for almost a bare minimum, and if he can't provide even that, then you might need to let him go.
Uhm, last I knew communication was uber important in a relationship. I don't know, I don't understand the whole 'clingy' thing, if you really like someone, wouldn't you WANT to hear from them?
@Lallisa - Uh, not really. It's like a conversation starter. "My boyfriend's being an asshole." "This girl's being clingy." Then the person asks "What's going on?" And boom! Conversation starts. And two months is long enough to find a good friend. Or at least someone you think is a good friend. I'm not saying your way isn't possible, just saying there are other possibilities.
Either way, the relationship sounds fucked up.
you're not being clingy at all
from what I gather, you're looking to have a decent "relationship conversation". I mean...even distant friends talk more than you guys do.
@Camouflaged_by_night@xanga -
you took the words right out of my mouth. nice metaphor. hahaha!
Worse--He accidently picked up a call when I called and he was complaining to a friend about me, and I heard the whole thing. -____-;