This is pretty much a response blog to
Why We Are Waiting to Have Sex. If you haven't read the blog (or don't plan to) the author basically talks about the reasons why she personally feels she and her significant other are not ready to have sex. I'm all up for the abstinence thing; if you want to not get laid then that's your prerogative. And you should definitely wait until you're ready.
But the reasons depicted in the entry were quite foolish and illogical. They won't have sex for fear of having children. That's understandable, but one shouldn't negate the obvious contraceptives and their many benefits. They're basically saying that being on birth control and using a condom and taking the morning after pill just in case isn't at all a reliable system. But Trojan has stayed in business for eighty something years...
I just don't buy it. A lot of people have the fear of getting pregnant/someone else pregnant unexpectedly. That's why you use BC. That's why you wrap your pipe. That's why you pull out. I mean come on, the author is pretending like the odds of getting pregnant are astronomically high even when you take the necessary precautions. So I'm going to talk about the reasons why I do have sex.
- I can afford to. Not that I can afford a baby right now necessarily (though I would change that upon discovery), but I can afford the necessary items for safe sex; condoms, birth control, other things... *cough*
- I'm a responsible adult with a responsible partner. I would never sleep with someone who wasn't mature enough to handle any consequences; hell, I wouldn't even date someone who wasn't mature enough to handle those consequences.
- It's natural. I think this is the biggest part. It's healthy to have sex, both physically and mentally. Who doesn't want happy and healthy neurotransmitter stimulation? A lot of people try to pull the religion card. They claim that "sex before marriage is a just a big fat sin, and you're lying to your significant other, and it never has anything to do with love, and blah dee blah dee blah." Shut up. You don't know what you're talking about at all. You can't just up and say that people who have sex before marriage are unloving heathens who do nothing but lust over others. And I personally don't feel the need to live up to your unnatural and illogical standards.
And I will retort with my own religion, Buddhism. Tantric sex is a big part of Buddhist practices. It teaches one to have the ultimate sex, pretty much. But the purpose is really to learn how something feels so you can channel your thoughts and make it so you no longer have overwhelming cravings for something. It makes sense; how can you convince yourself you don't want something if you don't know what it truly is?Whatever your choices in bed (or out of it), know that they aren't better than mine. And I'd appreciate it if you all toned down the pretentious asshole attitude reeking all over that entry and in the comments. Thanks.
Comments (331)
Props.
Finally, someone who doesn't rely on abstinence like losers. Congratulations for also knowing how to use safe contraception usages and make sure sex is safe.
Good post! My significant other and me defiantly aren't waiting either. ;P
WOOT!!! Great post :D
like! facebook style. i love gettin down, can't lie.
I see a lot of the "pretentious asshole attitude" that you condemn in your own words.
Nice - but I don't like to wear down my clit before marriage. You can't get a fresh new spare part for that.
I don't judge non-Christians who have sex before marriage, but it is a biblical concept to abstain, so that's why I do. Plus, I don't know, being in a monogamous relationship with your spouse would probably lead to some great, lifelong sex.
...the author is pretending like the odds of getting pregnant are astronomically high even when you take the necessary precautions.
All the odds fly out the window when the unthinkable actually happens.
...how can you convince yourself you don't want something if you don't know what it truly is?
I sure hope you don't apply this concept to drugs and other subjects....
Interesting response.
Surprisingly, most virgin married couples are more likely to divorce than non-virgin couples.
I read that post and I didn't like her reasons for waiting. I'm all for it, I guess just have a legit reason. (May it be that it's too early in the relationship, religion, your dad will hunt you down with his shotgun, whatever.)
I waited because of my religion at first, but now that I'm older I'm realizing that it won't kill me if I commit fornication. I wasn't properly educated on sex until I was about 16 ... and I wanted to be in a sturdy relationship with someone I at least care about.If you're gonna do it, go for it. Just be smart about it and use your head.
First off, I like how you're keeping in real with this post. Second, I'd like to say I agree with you regarding the religious thing as well as the "we're not going to wait" statement because my husband and I sure didn't (before we got married, that is). But I do have to say that I do not agree with the fear of getting pregnant thing. Having a baby is a HUGE responsibility.
Parenting is one of the most difficult things a man and a woman will ever encounter and abstinence is the best way to make sure you do not have that responsibility when you are not prepared for it. Yes, I used contraceptives and yes, I got pregnant! Do I regret it, no way. My son is the best thing that ever happened to me. But my husband and I are stressing right now with finances and other shite. Contraceptives don't always work.
@Theophilus166@xanga - I agree.
I have respect for those who abstain themselves. I'm no angel and no virgin but I still like a girl who doesn't sleep around too much.
@FairyNAngel@xanga - Completely agree.
@FairyNAngel@xanga - um, okay...please explain how having sex before marriage "wears down your clit".
I agree more with this post than with the other post, but I think it's a very personal decision and that no two couples will approach it the same way.
And obviously abstinence is the only way to be positive that there will be no pregnancies, but there is like what, a 98% chance that the condoms/BC will be effective? I will gladly use birth control methods in order to have sex if I am in a relationship with a person I care about. Also, at the risk of sounding like a slut, I don't want my first time to be on my wedding night. I want it to be a fun night that's pleasurable for all, not an awkward night spent trying to figure out what works for both partners.
Anyway, to each his own =]
@kriskris92@xanga - "Also, at the risk of sounding like a slut, I don't want my first time to be on my wedding night. I want it to be a fun night that's pleasurable for all, not an awkward night spent trying to figure out what works for both partners."
same here. (:
@chayswag@xanga - It doesn't. Possibly the only way you could wear it out would be forcing out baby after baby. She's just being stupid.
FINALLY. I saw so many people on xanga waiting for marriage i was starting to think i was the only one who had sex! Sex is a healthy natural thing, i just strongly suggest people should wear condoms to prevent diseases and pregnancy.
I dont think you can "wear down your clit". What the more sex you have it rubs away? lol There are exercises to keep you tight if your scared of having a loose saggy vagina. Being naturally tight is apart of my charm ;] bahahahaha
@KissKisstime2die@xanga - Seriously. I've been having sex for over a year with my boyfriend, and have yet to hear any complaints about decreased tightness. xD
@chayswag@xanga - That should be submitted to Myth Busters...
@RunningMan42@xanga - it really should.
"After 48 hours of perpetual copulation, vaginal diameter remained the same."
...I would NEVER watch myth busters ever again.
@KissKisstime2die@xanga - Uh... are you sure you aren't confusing "clit" with "cunt"? ...Cause "clit" is short for "clitoris", which is the scientific anatomical word for part of the vulva.
Are you offended that I refer to myself as "Matt" instead of "Matthew"?
Whatever. To each their own I guess : /
@FairyNAngel@xanga - Uhh.. your kidding me right?
Who the hell taught you about sex?
@KissKisstime2die@xanga - lol, how is the word 'clit' nasty? the right word is clittorus.. ya know, we're all lazy around here we just shorten it up haha. Maybe your thinking of the other not so kind c-word?
regarding the post itself:
Who cares, she's missin out.
@chayswag@xanga - LOL!