And if so...what are the terms of a temporary break?
- Do you establish a time limit to re-evaluate?
- Can you communicate or talk during this time?
- Are you allowed to date other people?
(Hmm...if the goal of the break is to get back together and make your relationship stronger in the long run, the answer here is probably no...Then again, if you're "broken up" but still exclusive, then where's the motivation brought by the fear of really losing the other person if you know they're still not allowed to date anyone else?)
Has going "on a break" ever worked for you or anyone you know?
Can going "on a break" actually benefit a relationship?And if so...what are the terms of a temporary break?
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Comments (69)
1. Wtf? Time limit? There is no time limit on love. You get back together if/when you decide, not "after about three weeks or so..."
2. No, you have to ignore each other completely and make out with each other's friends.
3. Yes, since you're no longer together, and the other person cannot tell you not to date someone "because I still like you, but I wanted to break up with you, because I was tired of you, but I still like you anyway."
I believe that very often, temporary breakups only lead to not so tempory breakups in the long run.
my ex and i used to always take breaks only find ourselves back together within 2 or 3 days and then a break again within a 3 months. now that it's officially over, even though i still see him once in a while, i sometimes get that urge to run back to him but i have to keep myself strong and not fall into that trap again.
I personally don't like "breaks" ... call it all or nothing, in my opinion. And I admit, when I saw the photo that went with the post - I immediately thought of that Friends episode where Ross and Rachel keep repeating that phrase... "WE WERE ON A BREAK!"
@Dare2BDiferentt@xanga - hahahaha. Number 3 was funny as hell.
@Passionflwr86@xanga - I agree with you. All or nothing. Either you decide to work it out together or you call it quits. I loved that episode, too. Especially when after they got back together, Rachel kept telling Ross that her mother said: "Once a cheater, always a cheater." Ross gets so angry that he again yells, this time in her ear: "WE WERE ON A BREEAAAAK!"
Hahaha. LOVE Friends!
I, as well as many of my friends, have been on breaks. I have NEVER seen it work out ever. When I took my "break" with my boyfriend, we did end up getting back together, but only for about a month. Then I broke up with him because I remembered the reason we went on a "break" in the first place. It's stupid.
One time one of my ex boyfriends suggested we go "on a break" for a couple weeks. So I went on a break, but it didn't end after a few weeks. I dumped him for even suggesting it. And if I get tired of a guy, it just means I wasn't that into him to begin with. There is only one person I dated more than once and that was only because the first time we broke up it was because his father made him. I know when I'm in a relationship that's never gonna work no matter how much work you put into it.
Temporary breaks only leads to permanent ones in the end.
I reckon it's just the time needed to think things over, there shouldn't be time to date other people then!
all or nothing. if someone suggests a break, it's over. what happens if you end up marrying the person you went on a break with? they're only gonna want another break when things get rough. i don't believe in breaks.
It worked for me. That break kept us strong for a year. But now we seem to be in the same place as we were a year ago. So if you need a temporary break, it's probably a red flag that you'll end up permanently broken up.
i dont think they work at all.. you end up just breaking up.
IMHO, breaks never work. Me and the ex took breaks, and it just kept getting worse. I finally called it quits for good when he suggested we take another break so he could go on vacation and not feel bad about sleeping with random TJ chics.
Lol, this reminds of the whole Rachel and Ross's "break" thing...and not all breaks work out like theirs did. I find that more often than not, breaks lead to real break ups.
Good post, seeing as I might be on the verge of this.
"Breaks" have never really helped from my experience. Just made things messier.
I don't think breaks work. It only drives the relationship into a more rocky territory. At least that's what I have observed.
I've never taken an official break from someone, but I can tell you from experience that if you break up with someone once, chances are like .2% that it will end up lasting.
Me and my last ex were on and off for a while... kept trying to make that work, obviously failed or he wouldn't be my ex.
Me and the ex before weren't on and off, but we broke up once after about four months of dating, got back together about a week later and six months after that, the end.
None of my breakups have ever been, "let's take a break..." so idk how that works, but to me it sounds stupid. You break up with someone, great. Well, actually not so great in all cases but at least the rules are clear. You have no strings attached anymore. Flirt with whoever you want, kiss whoever you want, ogle whoever you want, date whoever you want, ya kno1? You're single. When you're on a "break"... wtf? I have the same questions as the OP.
From personal experience, "the break" is the time to figure or not if you're happier WITHOUT the bf/gf without feeling guilt trip or other pressures of the relationship. I use this time to make a pros and cons chart so I can be objective about the time invested and emotional stability of myself to make the best decision possible.
1. I usually request a week to two to figure stuff out.2. Cut ALL communication; no texts, emails, phone calls... as if I'm not WITH anyone3. Can meet new people but not in the idea of a DATE; hang out in groups, that's the safest so there's no misleading signals and confusion.But to have a break so that the relationship can recover with the intent of benefitting it? It has never been THAT for me....
Can going "on a break" actually benefit a relationship?
Hell, no.
My ex suggested that. I didn't agree to it. After weeks of torturing myself (since we work at the same place and see each other everyday), I ended it.
"breaks" never work mostly because things never go back to normal.
feelings are differnent & so are the ways you act. its a hard thing to do & usually do not benefit the relationship.
Breaks have never worked for me.
a temp break is an excuse for holding on to something that you should have let go a long time ago.
@storiesandsinker@xanga - agreed