Saturday, 27 June 2009
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Do You Regret Any of Your Experiences?
Mudkiwi sounded off on the virginity debate and brought up something I hadn't thought of:If you've had sex already, do you regret any of your sexual experiences? If you're waiting until marriage (or just later), is the fear of regret a reason you've considered, too?I am staying a virgin until after marriage. My reason's are for the religious part of it, but also for my fear of regret. If I was to loose my virginity to someone who would later NOT be my husband, I would regret it so much. I want to give my husband my virginity. It's a very priceless and valuable thing to me, you can only give it once, to one person.
As for living with a person, that's a different story. If I was serious with a person I would want to live with them for 6months-??? during or even before an engagement. It would help me see if I can live with dealing with my partner's imperfections, bad habits, working traits, etc. and if we can compromise and negotiate problems that would occur in a household. (:
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Comments (42)
Maybe.
hmm. regrets. its inevitable isn't it?
some of them I guess but man, you gotta respect someone if they can wait that takes a lot of will power
There's no point in regretting experiences, they're a part of developing your personality and making you who you are.
No doubt I have indeed regretted some, but what can I do about it now?!
I guess it depends on what kind of person you want to marry. I'm a guy and if I wanted to marry a woman who has had a fair amount of experience in the bedroom, then I would have no regrets with losing my virginity. However, since I'm actually looking for a woman who has the same beliefs about sex as Mudkiwi, then yeah I guess I do regret losing it.
Some women prefer experienced guys and vice-versa, but the ones that wish to save themselves for "THE ONE"...those are the special ones; those are the rare finds on this Earth.
In my case, I foolishly gave my virginity to a woman that was not overly special to me. In truth, I had my eyes set on another rather "experienced" young woman and I wanted to make sure that I had the experience to please her.
Even still, if I could do it over again, I would've saved myself for my wife...whoever she may be.i mean ive learned that in Life you should have no regrets. Ive decided that I will have none what so ever because....think about it. Life is an experience, you go through life making mistakes and figuring stuff out. everything is an experience and you learn.
I believe in life there is no such thing as regrets becase at that moment in time you were happy and you wanted to make that decision at that time....why live in fear of regrets???
thats life its really like some people have said inevitable....things that arent gonna go your way will happen but you live to go on with your life and smile at it because its what makes your life an experience worth living.
I mean think about realtionships period. think about the guys some girls regret ever being with and spending time with...butttt it shouldnt scare you from getting into another one because for the three or whatever months you were with that boy he made you happy and made your life worth experiencing...
no regrets.
and to answer your ques. i aways wanted to wait til marriage to have sex but one night i was at a party and i met this boy i used to go to HS with...we didnt know eachother but I knew OF himmm...and no i dont regret it...not one bit. lifes too short to live in fear...of anything.
I do not regret anything I have tried. I only regret it if I have intentionally hurt another person. That's just how I live my life.
As far as sexual experiences go: I have yet to have sex in real life. I had cybersex. I was crazy about the guy at the time. Now I'm not so much. Do I regret that we did it? No. It was still interesting. I went further with my ex than I had with anyone else before. Do I regret that? No. It felt good. I liked him at the time. Now I have found out some things that make me really not like him, but I do not regret what I did with him. If I had gotten pregnant, I might have been pissed off at myself for letting that happen, and maybe that is the same as regret. I might regret that my life plans would be changed drastically, but not that I'd had sex.
I have learned to live my life without regrets. It's a useless emotion. That's not to say you can't recognize something as a mistake. But learn from it and move on. Conciliation is key.
I don't believe in regrets. One life, so do whatever the hell you want. Every experience has made me into who I am today and has taught me many things about myself and others. I don't regret any of my sexual experiences and I would do them all over again if I had the chance. So what if when I get married I'm not a virgin? Chances are that the man I will end up with isn't a virgin either. As long as we love each other, the past is the past.
I haven't been with a lot of people, I only regret the stupid drunk nights.
I regret loosing it, no one will appreciate it as much as your husband would.
Hmm, I used to be all for saving myself for marriage.. then I kinda thought well if I fall in love with someone, but it later doesn't work out, it doesn't matter because I was still in love with the person at the time (of course, I mean LOVE not infatuation). Actually, this is probably easier to say for me because shortly after I had a change of heart, I did find my love and I've been with him for 4 1/2 years. I don't know what the future holds, but we really do want to get married, just not until after we finish college and we're both stable. I think if we broke up, the sex thing would be tough for me personally because he's the only guy I've ever been with, and everything is so deeply rooted and connected to each other.. I can't say that I would regret it though because we've had a great relationship so far and we've both really grown.
It would be painful, but I can't say I'd regret it because this is exactly what I want right now, at the present. There are some things you can plan out in life and other things that just happen (falling in love) and the future isn't guaranteed, so while I'm working towards the future, I'm still living in the present. So I can honestly say that I wouldn't regret it because for me personally, sex has had a deeper connection and I've been fortunate enough to find love before sex..
I believe the only way to not FULLY regret an experience is to make SURE you learn something from it. This comes through time ... and pain, most likely. I don't think it's possible to live a full life without some form of regret ... especially when it comes to relationships and sex. That being said... just make sure you learn from whatever happens ... and become a better (not bitter) person having gone through it. If you don't... what was the point in it happening at all? THEN you should regret it, fully.
I've always been careful with guys, and so while I dated some, I've only been in one real relationship. When I realized that I was in love with him, I wanted to give him EVERYTHING, and we had two years of great relationship...but then we broke up. I actually talked with him about it, that I didn't regret losing my virginity to him, because at that time I thought he was the one, and it felt right. But you have no idea how relieved I was when we got back together 6 months later. I just can't see myself with anyone else...and yeah, it would totally suck if we don't end up marrying each other...because I've always treated him as THE one...so obviously if he turns out not to be, I won't know what to do and I'm pretty sure I'll regret then. I'm just hoping that what I'm feeling is true, and he's going to be my future husband.
Fear of regret is why I'm waiting until marriage. I want to be able to give my virginity to my husband, someone who I know will always be there. Plus, it would make it much more special for the both of us..
The "save-it-for-my-husband" reason makes sense, but I have much more shallow reasons. Namely, not wanting to get pregnant or get STDs/STIs. The religious/moral motivations don't really affect me.
nope, i'm still with the man who i gave it to.
no regrets here.
(:
@missedout_onlife@xanga - took the words straight out of my mouth.
your mistakes (or what most people would call regrets) are what make you who you are today. these regrets are what make you realize what you have done and make you a better person because you won't make those mistakes again. so in a way, i don' t regret anything i have done but i am a virgin so i guess i should answer the other question instead. i've really waited so long because i just feel i'm not ready. i'm not entirely doing it because i'm "saving it for my husband" but i have considered it and in a way i just might. in all honesty, its just because i dont feel like i need sex in a relationship at this moment. i'm in college but still depending on my parents. i find it really tacky and disrespectful to my parents if i have sex when i'm not even independent yet. i haven't experienced the real world and haven't experienced what its truley like to be an adult. i think during the time i graduated from college and am in the possession of my own apartment, i will consider having sex. it is at that moment that i feel i'll possibly be ready and i'll be more respectful because i'm independent. i'm not sure if that makes any sense but in a weird odd way, it does to me. if i'm not old enough to be at the point where i'm independent in my life, then i'm not old enough to have sex; thats just the way i look at it. but regret has never crossed my mind. i've been with my guy for six years so far (still counting =) ) and we've been loyal and committed in our relationship. to most people, they are flabbergasted at how both of us have been so long without having sex. i think the fact that we haven't is what's going to make our first time more exciting and worthwhile.
No regrets on any of my sexual experiences. I'm glad I didn't wait until marriage. I know what I like and what I don't like about sex, and those past partners have helped me tremendously with that. I also know what's out there and don't feel I'm missing anything since I've already experienced it all.
I don't regret mine at all. Granted that he is the only guy I've ever slept with, but even if we do break up someday, I know I won't. I was with the guy for almost 3 years before we had sex. We waited til I was emotionally ready for the first time and also emotionally ready for if the relationship weren't going to end up in marriage.
I would think people would regret their experiences because they started having sex too early in the relationship, before they were ready to deal with the emotions that would surface if they were to break up.
Props to those who want to wait to give it to their husbands. But what happens if the marriage doesn't last? Sorry to sound negative but there are no guarantees in life and shit happens to make life not going according to plan.
well..it's more of a "delicadesa" for me.
my family are very conservative when it comes to relationship with the opposite sex..
so i grew up being the same with them, and just like you, i also believe that its the most priceless and most valuable gift i can give to my future husband.
I didn't wait till marriage. DO i regret having sex? No not at all. But i do regret fucking some of the people that i have had sex with. But once you find the right person, it is amazing. I don;t want to wait till marriage since if we have no sexual chemistry i have to live with that for the rest of my life!
I have only been with one person (still am) and I have no regrets.
I regret not waiting sometimes. I was saving myself for a long time, then I met my current boyfriend. Although I love him, and we are still together, I think our relationship would have been alot stronger if we had waited a little while longer. Yes sex is great, but its only part of a relationship. And sometimes the little things really do mean the most.
Even though I regret it, there's nothing I can do about it now. I'm no longer a virgin. Once it is gone, it is gone. That chapter of my life is over. It was a big part of who I was. And now I understand how truly important it was to me.