Miss Rhino
"Take a shot at finding true love in
this free online dating simulation."
Perfect. I could test out my dating skills on the internet and see how I do before I get out there in the real world. I picked out the object of my affection and began the game. It was a series of questions with multiple choice answers. How hard could this be?
So I started talking up "John." He was definitely a jock that lingered around Muscle Beach and asked people if they wanted tickets for the gun show. Hottie Alert. I told my date that my favorite meal was a double cheeseburger with bacon, I lost major points. But when I told him my biggest fear was being unpopular, I gained all those points back. And then I sealed the deal for a second date with John by telling him when it came to love, I would always be late to a first date. My world was upside down. Everything I thought I knew was wrong. Don't guys like a girl who isn't afraid to eat in front of them? Aren't shallow remarks such as worrying about popularity unattractive? This game was throwing me through a loop.
I made it all the way to a third date with John, but as soon as I made a move and said "I'm having so much fun with you" John ran for the hills. Sorry. John wasn't interested, the game told me. What the hell did I do wrong? Not only is this game completely stereotypical, but it's discouraging as well! I told him everything he wanted to hear, but as soon as I let him know I was interested, all of a sudden, John was not. It must have been that burger comment I made in the beginning. I knew I would never live that down...
I tried again.
This time I picked Jason. He was wearing glasses so I knew what I was in for. I told him I always kept a book on me and my points shot through the roof! He was a little upset that I would be spending the weekend throwing the biggest party ever, but then I told him that I wished I could sleep at the university and we were back on track. Ridiculous. I had him up until the very end when I asked him if his lips would like to dance with mine. Again, he ran for the hills. What the hell. My only other options were: "The words touching your lips are very lucky" and "Hey! Can I kiss you!" I thought I was being romantic. This game cannot be a metaphor for the actual dating world. Otherwise, I'm screwed.
In the "How to Play" tutorial, the game basically told you to lie to a person about what you like in order to fit their personality. And by personality I mean what they look like physically. It point-blank told you to judge a person by their outfit in order to gain points when answering questions. Whatever happened to opposites attract? That concept flew right out the window when I told a hippie animal-lover that I dreamed of living in a tree house. As if. He swooned. I was seated on a throne of lies. This game had single-handedly turned me into a con-artist when it came to finding true love.
Is this how the world of dating truly is? Will I find true love by molding my personality around my SO's? I have to admit, I have done this before. The guy I'm interested likes one type of music, all of a sudden I find myself on iTunes spending an inordinate amount of money on Russian dance music. My SO is really into sports and I immediately run to Wikipedia to explain the rules of football to me.
Do you ever find yourself changing who you are to fit your SO's personality? Are you more attracted to people whom you share common interests with?
Comments (25)
I find that if I am interested in a person and they are interested in something, I should at least become familiar with that thing. It's not just in relationships, even in friendships - my best friend has recently gotten into disney, so I'm letting him show me all his favorite disney movies. I'm not as big a fan of it as him, but it's not like it bothers me that he likes to share something he's into with me! And that's the way I think it should be in relationships, as well. You don't have to pretend you're something you're not, just don't close yourself off to your SO's interests.
Also, the game is somewhat right. If you base the relationship off lies, then the minute that you start telling the truth, the person you're dating is going to get a little scared. DUH! They're realizing they're being taken for a ride. The best way to live your life is with honesty, and to cherish those you attract through that honesty.
Wow. This - technically - is how it is in the dating world for ditsy people. (sadly)
Though though though for anyone you'd take seriously this wouldn't be how you should do things. hahaha I want to play this game now...
Good post
But when I read the title I thought you we meant that an online dating site turned you into a con artist in real relationships...
and I was going to suggest that you go on MTV's True Life, because that would be hilarious.
Yes i have changed myself to meet my SO personality so they would like me better. I dont do this anymore
anyone on xanga wants to go on a date..?;)
haha i tried it :} i got perfect match for both john and jason haha fun :]
No, not really. We're pretty much opposites in terms of personality. He's loud and likes to joke around, while I'm more reserved... when we're together, I tend to tone him down before he makes a fool out of himself while he makes me more outgoing =D
Oh boy... that's pretty ridiculous! I don't think that's anything like real life, not in my experience anyways. For the most part, the guys I've been attracted to / have been attracted to me, have not been exactly like me. We share many common passions, but a lot of times our personalities are quite different. I appreciate the differences because if we always agreed and liked all the same things, that would just be boring.
OH, I hate that.
You know in teen shows or programmes when the girl/guy likes someone and they try and "impress" them by trying to fit themselves in with their personality.
It really ticks me off.
It's like telling us to change our personalities to fit others. So not right!
We should bE ourselves and find someone who likes us for who we are!!!
And I think things in common is good, so you have stuff to talk about. For sure, for sure ... but differences are always good. Opposites definitely attract.
I remember I used to normally go for the geeky, awkward, sensitive, arty types. Not sure I like them anymore =}
John didn't like me because I wanted to swim with dolphins. That is whack! We got a perfect match in the end 'cause I kept talking about sports. And for some reason he loved that my biggest fear was smelling weird.
Yeah, this type of game is solely entertainment and nothing more.
I expand to try to appreciate what my so likes so we can enjoy the same things together. I'll give a listen to certain bands- GRUDGINGLY and with great effort from him- that I refused to listen to before because if he loves them so much, I can afford to give it another few seconds of my life.
But there are some things I just don't want to do. economics, lol. cars. his obsession with music. I don't think I change to accommodate my so, I think we're just lucky in that we maintain our own lives while coming together as a couple.
You need to go out more.
Sounds like a really dumb game.
Okay, I seriously just played three rounds of that game before I won hah. It was weird. I picked the right "kissing" line and the three hearts come up and he says "Stop talking and plant your lips on mine!" But then the thing came up that said "John wasn't interested". What? He just told me to kiss him! I spent forever getting to that point! Well whatever.
I wouldn't want to date someone that's totally the same as me, cuz then I would probably fight with them all of the time. You need to have somewhat different personalities in order to balance each other out.
What a funny game. I don't know anything about the dating world because I don't get asked out on dates, but if this is how people act, maybe it's a good thing I'm not in the midst of all this ridiculous game.
wow, this sounds so complicated, well i would say just be yourself, if they are meant for you
it doesn't really matter about your habits right?
Well as Shakespeare puts it, "To thine own self be true." I think it's natural that some aspects of your personality might change to mold to that of your significant other's, but don't change yourself to the point where you don't even know yourself anymore. No guy or girl is worth your time if you have to change yourself to the extent of practically doing a 180 just to attract them. Besides, they will eventually get down to the nitty gritty and discover who you truly are. Who you truly are is what will attract someone. They also say that you shouldn't be someone you're not. I find it much easier and less stressful to be myself, but that's just me.
As for this dating simulation game, as far as I'm concerned, it's nothing but a bunch of shit. Even the "jock" is not completely the stereotypical jock. The "jock" may actually have some qualities that are not typical of that particular stereotype, and not all "jocks" think or act the same way as the typical version of that particular stereotype. So this dating simulation game is not all that entirely precise, though it may be helpful or beneficial to some degree. However, that's just my opinion.
when i was still dating my ex, i guess its because i was always with him when we went out, we started to do the same things, talk alike, even dressed alike. i asked my sister if i was like that before i dated him and she said that we tend to like the opposite sex that is most similar like ourselves.
hahaha I still haven't gotten a kiss yet
so I tried again
and totally hit it off with Sandy
maybe I should turn lesbian
@i_r_keiko@xanga - hahahaha the swim with dolphins question was the best. I cracked up when they got broken hearted because I said I hoped they were wild.
@linguistic_nonsense@xanga - completely agree, great comment. you put it more eloquently than I ever could!
i tried the game. and mostly i ended up lying but me and Jason hit it off apparently. maybe i should try that in real life :}
Well... If my SO has an intense interest in something, then I take it upon myself to at least be aquainted with it so that I'll be able to understand what he's talking about.
I always saw my current boyfriend playing chess... Strangely enough, I was just starting to get into chess because of another friend, but I made more of an effort to get at least somewhat good so that I could play him and not totally embarass myself (even though I kind of did in the end... But he liked me anyway!)
I don't manufacture interests for myself so that I'll have something in common with a guy, but if it's something I kind of wanted to start doing anyway, I might pick it up.
If it's true love, you don't have to change your personality. You have to be you to know if this person really loves you as you are. It's good to be with someone who share common interest because you can be comfortable together and he understands you why it's like this and that.
Remember true love remains the same no matter what happen.