Fmylife.com contains short day-to-day life anecdotes. A simple recipe: in one sentence, each site visitor can tell the shitty moment which ruined his day. These short stories must begin with "Today" and end with "FML".
Here are our favorite five submissions from
F*** My Life this week:
Today, I had sex with this guy who I like very much. As he went to leave I decided to give him one last thrill. So I reached down his pants and started to rub and stroke him. He abruptly pulled my hand out, when I asked why, he points behind me, my mom watched the whole thing. FMLToday, is the first day of my honeymoon. It has been 6 years since I took a "real" vacation. We have 3 kids and a small house, and now we have 9 days alone in random hotels to do what couples do on their honeymoon without kids... Day one, I got my period 7 days early. FMLToday, was my boyfriends birthday. He wanted a blowjob while playing Call of Duty 4. In typical gamer fashion, he slammed his controller down when he died. Into my head. FMLToday, my girlfriend of ten months sent me a picture message of her making out with a guy. Under it, it read "you can pick your stuff up in the morning." FMLToday, I found out that the love of my life, who I've been going out with for two weeks only, asked me out because he lost a bet. Apparently I'm the punishment for not being able to eat 10 hot dogs. FMLSICK
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Comments (32)
The third one was kinda funny... :-x
LOL the second last one is pure ownage
OMG, poor girl getting her head slammed on...She should have bit him >.>
i've heard of #2 before, and #1 and #5, LOL. zomg
#2: Ahh isn't it freaking fabulous being a woman? I just know this will happen on my honeymoon!
I've gone on this website before, it's hilarious. Another spinoff is mydrunkposts.com .
haahaaa. i love FML.
xo
LOL XD
Number 2 sounds like it'll probably happen to me knowing my luck. hahaha x.x
Example No. 2 is a very good reason to start the Pill before your wedding ... so that you can plan it around your cycle. If I DON'T do this - I'm sure I'll have the luck of getting my period on my honeymoon. That... would totally, totally, totally suck. Wow.
Aw, moms...
Haha, I love reading these.
guilty pleasure, check.
@Vaguely_Aware21@xanga - YOOOO... NOOO nooo noooo nooo That's a HORRIBLE thing to say! LOL
ahhah #1
#3 is the exact reason why I stopped dating guys more into their video games than me.
The last two are so sick...
@Simply_Cynical@xanga - I know it is, but asking for a bj while he plays a video game? Pfft. That's worse...
@Vaguely_Aware21@xanga - so if a girl asked for oral while watching the notebook and it's her birthday, it's her birthday! hahahahaha! in either sense, biting isn't acceptable under ANY circumstances. =P
xD I love FML. I read it every day.
@Vaguely_Aware21@xanga - Oh yeah! I definitely agree!
#1 and #2.. priceless xD
@Simply_Cynical@xanga - rofl. Now you KNOW we would not ask for oral while watching The Notebook! We'd ask it while we were watching Twilight...haha, jk jk..
I say she should have bit him...but if it were me...I'd be like: "Give yourself a BJ." I wouldn't have done it to begin with..just plain RUDE
If I were to, and he hit me over the head...I'd "accidentally" bite him..>.>
@sparkylightning540@xanga - WOOT! You go girl! Someone who thinks like me :)
Hahahahahah!!! The blowjob + Call of Duty is hilarious!!!
love that website