Miss AntelopeLast September, I went through a really bad breakup. We were together for over a year and all that fun stuff. I understand, that's life, it happens, big deal, right? About a month later, I cut ties between him and I because "being friends" wasn't going to work, especially when he decided not to be a friend/human being and go to my grandfather's wake/funeral. I was done at that point. About three months after our breakup, I got word that he got his latest SO pregnant. That really hit home for me. Not only did I feel like he disrespected me and my family by not paying his respects, but now he really completed the package officially classifying as a piece of... Well, you get the picture...
Strangely enough, the person I dated after him is also having a baby...
Both got these girls pregnant after only being with them for a month or two...
I'm not quite understanding my exes' baby boom, but I feel like it's a lot to take in. One second I'm dating these fools, the next second, they're procreating (and if their kids turns out to be anything like their dads, God help us all).
Needless to say, I'm well over these two, but I can't help and think from time to time, what is the deal? I'm only 22; the one ex is 21 and the other just turned 25. The last thing on my mind is being a mommy. I just don't get it. And quite honestly, I'm not sure what to think. I know as soon as their kids are born, I'm going to hear about it and I'm not looking forward to that at all.
Have any of you been through a similar situation? How did you get past it? Is this more common than I think it is for my age?
Comments (32)
I didn't have it happen to me, but my fiance's ex ended up getting knocked up about 6 months into her relationship with the new guy.
Their kid is over a year old now.
She's just turned 20.
It's weird for both of us to think about.
You're kind of like Dane Cook in Good Luck Chuck but instead of helping people find their soul mates, you help them procreate.
I know many many people who are having kids between 18 and 25 who really shouldn't be. Most of these people are too immature themselves.
One girl I know, got pregnant at 18 (been dating a month), married 5 months later, got divorced 6 months after the baby was born. Got married a year later (after dating 2-6 months), got pregnant, the baby is now a year old and she's getting another divorce. She's only 22!
=) Did I get off topic? Well, don't feel bad, at least you are smart!!!
heh. One of my exes got married less than a year after we broke up to a guy she met about three months after said break-up. Another one of my exes is now basically attached to the hip to the guy she got after me (but to be fair, it's been a while in the making.) Same with another one of my exes, has been with the boyfriend she got after me for a few years now. I, however, am still in the dating scene, but these things keep happening to me... Strange, isn't it?
Most, if not all of my exes have had kids and/or gotten married, some to the person they dated right after me. It never really bothered me, including the one that was the love of my life. I no longer wanted to be with him so never cared that he moved on, in his case I feel sorry for his now ex wife, but she was actually worse than he was in the end.
I don't understand why so many people let it bother them so much when their exes move on and start families and get married. I guess I see at as if you no longer want to be with them, why do you care what they are doing?
In most of my exes cases, I don't care what they do, I don't wish them happiness or unhappiness if we are no longer friends or friendly. I just move on and hope they do too, but that is just me.
My ex started dating a skank who'd just turned 21 (he's 27) just three days after we ended our serious relationship. THREE DAYS!!!
Boy, things like that sure make you feel valued and important, hey?!
Wow... sounds kind of scary for your exes.
Be glad it wasn't you who got pregnant, I guess.
I'm sort of in the situation right now...after I date a guy, they ended up finding "the one." My sophomore year of high school I went on a few dates with Matt...he was a senior...well liked, but too clingy and...no offense, Matt, too feminen for my taste. Anyways - it didn't take long - a year later, when he started dating another girl...now they're engaged! They've been together for about two years and are in love, I guess. Then there was Blake, a freshman that I dated my junior year of high school. We dated for about two months, if that and now Blake is celebrating his one year anniversary with Jane... Now we're at Aaron...Aaron is the boy that I dated for about three months the end of my senior year in high school. Because he was in the military several states away, things weren't working out. Now he's dating Amy and they're so marriage minded, it's sick.
I don't understand! I wish we could do a bit of a role reversal, here! ha ha
you should thank god at least that girl wasn't you. but i understand how it pinches the heart a little
Just be glad it wasn't you. *phew!*
My ex got married to the girl he cheated on me with and now they have a baby. Weird. I'm like the practice girl. Such a Meg moment.
What's not to understand? These new girls were a rebound and neither party took the appropriate steps to prevent pregnancy. The best thing for you to do is be THANKFUL that you're "not the father" (in my best Maury voice) and pray for these children to grow into productive citizens of this earth.
be glad the girl wasn't you, but definitely it'l feel so weird for me too
One of my exs almost had a baby, but for some reason his wife lost it.
I think that at our age, people around us are just starting to have children. I know more people than I ever have that are my age and either just had a baby, or are pregnant.
You just seemed to get the short end of the stick while their other SOs got the more potent end.
My 1st ex, his gf just had a miscarriage, and the other ex got married and his wife is pregnant. I can't help but think if I was with either of them, it could be me. But then I also think (about the 2nd ex) that I never liked being hit. I know I'm better off anyway, as I've been married to the most wonderful man for 2 1/2 years now, and we're waiting until we're ready to have kids.
The only ex who is married with child now, we broke up about 9-10 years ago. I'm very happy for him.
I feel bad for my ex... he keeps breaking up with girls, and his friends keep getting engaged to them. I'm not engaged yet, but my boyfriend just asked his grandfather (a jewler) to make a ring for me(if ya know what I mean)...
You should just count your lucky stars that you didn't get pregnant by those 2 guys. You shouldn't feel sad or jealous....just relieved that you are not in that mess.
Twice actually...after 2 years, be broke up, a very nice mutual break-up where we were still close friends. She goes to a party, date rape, and gets pregnant...she named the boy after me "Johnathan"...7 months later, child services take him away, she was too stressed, no family support, and still going to college (and other things). It was a bad situation altogether, but she hopes the best for him, just as i do.
Second one...broke up after a month because of timing, once again, mutual, very calm, still friends...she literally runs through guys left and right (sort of a slut honestly), about 2 months ago, get a text that she is gonna have a boy...but she doesnt know the father. She doesn't have family support neither, just her BF atm.
Note: I'm not the father, it's been proved, thank you condoms.
I hope I never have to go through that again D: I would honestly help both of them raise child...but my family wouldn't exactly accept that, and think that it is my child...soooo yeah. Happy with my love <3
@chaoness@xanga - That sucks to hear...
It seems like theirs a bit of annimosity or jealousy here. You should be happy for your exs creating a family of their own. Remember everything happens for a reason one day youll find that mr right. let me put your self in the shoes of someone in a far worse situation. Theirs this middle aged lady in her early 40's she thinks she found the love of her life shes been dating this man for 11 years I tend to write about him in my blogs, she thinks that everything is picture perfect in their relationship but in all reality she doesnt know shes living a lie, the man shes dating has been with another woman (me) for the last 5 years and has reproduced a child with me. I hate to see it when her fairy tale dream comes crashing down. Your pry thinking well i'm just a homewrecker. I dont look at my self as a home wreckers shes met me on 3 occasions and Ive said to my daughters dad right in front of her before I knew who she was I miss you honey I think we should hook up if she cant put the pieces together shes the stupid one. But really you think its all bad you boyfriends you break up with having kids imagine being in Dianes shoes early 40s been with a guy 11 years and doesnt know hes been laying up with a 21 year old for the past 5 years and making babys.
forgive me for saying this, but if you cut all ties with him, why bother being upset that he's having a kid?
Who cares?
Shit happens.
Unless you think tehre is something that can be salvaged from a failed relationship, you just have to move on and not dwell on the fact that he's having a kid.
You are telling me you didnt know the planet is having a baby boom right now? People of all ages are getting pregnant. So, yes it is more common than you think.