Thursday, 25 June 2009
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WYD Someone Formerly In The Adult Industry?
A lot of times, when we meet people and find out something about their past...or present, we have a choice of taking the good with the bad, or just ditching them all together with a certain fear of being wrapped up in whatever they're into. The adult entertainment industry is a huge, flourishing business...I think...with the abundance of websites, DVDs and things like that. The main thing that draws people into this industry is the amount of money they can make doing what people do...having sex.
I've always had a negative view of pornography specifically because I feel like it's degrading to women...but after meeting this gentleman a few weeks ago, I've realized that it's degrading to men as well. He left the lifestyle behind, and moved out of L.A. and moved back to a small town on the east coast. He's looking for something real, loving and passionate.
I've taken his word and learned to look past his previous occupation and he seems to be a truly genuine guy, but the thought of what he used to be sometimes makes me worry about how much of the lifestyle he's kept with him. So I would like to ask you Xanga/ Datingish community, would you ever date someone that has been in the adult entertainment industry? Would you hold what he or she did in the past against him/her?
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About the Author
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- From: belletenshi@xanga
- Name: Belle
- About Me: my name is Belle, trying to be a skinny minnie for the masses...massive raves that is.
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Comments (37)
Eh..I'd feel more comfortable dating someone who only had sex when they were in committed relationships.
Plus, I don't know what the hell being a porn star would do to your sex life, but I can't imagine that it'd help the intimacy of sex.
Ha. Well, the sex would be fantastic.
But I probably wouldn't. Thinking of everyone they'd been with...there's something grimy about it.
If you really want to... As long as he's clean (no weird diseases, STDs, etc) from his former job, is honestly changing, and does not let any of his past catch up to him.
But ehh.. I dunno actually. lol Probably not... =P
Some STD's can't even be tested for on men, so the idea would be a real conundrum for me, personally. I suppose their reasons for being in the industry might make a difference, too.
It's a job. A well paying job. I couldn't blame him (her) for it.
Would I? I think it's worse since I'm the guy and I'd be dating the girl taking the money shots...but maybe.
Double standard, but I don't think it would be as bad to date the guy.
def no.
No. I would be flattered that a guy in the industry would pick me to be in a relationship with. He could have hundreds of hot women, but he chose me (for looks or personality). Plus they would know what to do in the bedroom.
The past is the past but I don't think I can get past that, so no. Being friends with him would be ok with me. I just can't picture me being with some guy who used to be in the adult industry. Weird.
Yes I would consider dating someone formerly in the adult industry, especially one with this guy's story; no I would not hold his or her past against them, as I would not appreciate them holding mine against me.
I would date someone who was formerly in the adult industry, but only if I was interested in that person. What I mean is that I wouldn't mind if they were formerly in the adult industry, but it's not something that I look for in someone... like, I'm not going to date someone solely because they worked in the adult industry.
no way. it's be a bit weird
I'm completely open to it. The adult industry is just an industry, and I find it to be perfectly healthy. My only major dealbreakers are hard drugs and pathological lying.
Depends on the person.
I still don't get the demeaning thing...
at least he'll be good at what he does right?
@storiesandsinker@xanga - Agreed.
If I liked the person and felt I could trust them, I'd have very little qualms about it.
That said, there'd probably be insecurity issues, but.. those always exist.
I wouldn't hold it against them, per say. I wouldn't choose to think of them in a low way just because of their (previous) profession. But I wouldn't want to date someone who had had sex with so many people.
why not? i think its not what that person did in the past that matters, but rather what he or she is doing now... who knows what that person would do in the future... his/her present is more important than the past... everyone whose exciting will always have cobwebs in their past... its a matter of accepting the person
I don't think I would.
Depends....
Some people get into it because that's a last resort and they need fast cash. Some people take it seriously. I would definitely take it slow with him and if he could take it slow with me then I'd know he was real.
I don't think it would bother me too much. But it depends on the person I guess. There's more to a person than their (former) job.
i like porn.
Yay for you getting posted, Belle! :)
I'm actually not sure if I would. It would really depend on the kind of person he is. The way I see it, it's not too far from dating someone that has multiple partners in his past, although the situations certainly have their differences.
What's worse--dating someone who has given so much love (and his/her body) to different people, or dating someone who was making a living "associating" with his co-workers? Depends on how you see it.
Sure as long as he's tested and I can see he doesn't have any strange diseases.
I feel sorry for some of the porn stars. There was this interview with this one lady and the interviewer asked her if she's in a relationship. She looked down and stopped her smile for one second and said no.
Yes I would. I think I would even go as far to say that I would date someone currently in the adult industry. I don't mind pornography, and although I don't watch it or advocate it, it truly doesn't bother me. Now...I would date someone in the industry. That doesn't mean I'd be in a relationship with them...I think there's a difference. Before I considered going exclusive with this guy, there would have to be some major conversation.