You see it everywhere in high school: the perfect guy (i.e. smart, athletic, hot, good personality) that dates a girl who is at parties every weekend, is a bit less well off in the brains department, and is known to "get around". Boys will be boys, and these girls will have sex with them in a heartbeat; don't guys crave a more meaningful relationship?
This boy at my school is one of these perfect guys. He is in all AP and honors classes, he gets good grades, and he is the star of the football team and captain of two varsity sports. He is nice to everyone, and people who are popular as well as people who are nerds like him for his great personality. For school superlatives, he won "best all-around"... nuff said.
His girlfriend, however, is much less accomplished. She is decently smart (in mostly college prep and some honors classes), but she doesn't play sports or do any extracurriculars - she gets drunk on the weekends. She isn't drop-dead gorgeous, and she has a somewhat cliquey personality. And, to top it all off, everyone knows she's been around the block.
This guy could have a much prettier, smarter, nicer, and more athletic girl. But she might be one that wouldn't go as far sexually.
I have two questions:
1) Why do these guys settle for so much less? Is it just so they can have their sexual thirst quenched? And do they grow out of this after high school? ... please say yes?
and
2) Girls and guys, when looking for a SO, do you take inner beauty into account?
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Comments (64)
Maybe he just loves her for who she is, and that's enough for him, even if it's not enough for you.
1. Duh.
2. Duh.
Uhm, duh?
outer beauty brings them closer. inner beauty makes them want to stay.
inner beauty never matters.
NEVERRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
honestly you're coming off as a hater. if i didn't know any better i'd think that you liked him ... i say this because i've been there. HS is over for me but that mentality is still very fresh. what you see when you look at her and what he sees are probably not the same person. she may seem clique-y to you while he may look at her in a completely different light. yeah of course outer beauty matters. 9 times out of 10 you're going to judge a person on their appearance. it's human nature + anyone who disagrees with me needs to take psy.101 + then we can talk. you judge someone in the first ten seconds that you meet them. an interview knows if they're going to hire their potential employee in the first 15 seconds ... that tells you something. you don't know someone's personality in 10 or 15 seconds. but inner beauty is important. i hung out with this guy. we had known each other for a few years but never really took it any furthur. well suddendly he wants to date me ... well that's where it ended for me. sure he was really hot but his personality is awful. good looks attracts you to someone but personality keeps you there
@xourlastendeavorx@xanga - you can't really help if your boobs are big or not ...
1) Some guys don't grow out of it ever, some guys are never like that to begin with. But that dies out eventually with most people. Maybe you're just looking in the wrong direction.
2) Inner Beauty counts big time. Looks do matter and usually are what cause the initial spark, but it's the personality and inner stuff that make the relationship happen. And you'll find out that as you become closer to people with inner beauty, it'll make them more attractive outwardly.
he just loves her for who she is.
Physical attraction draws you to him/her but their inner beauty makes you want to stay. So yes, inner beauty does matter.
Whatever flaws you see in his gf, he probably notices and accepts them because he chose to stay with her for whatever reasons he has. I'm sure it's not just for his sexual appetite (if they are doing the deed) but for himself as well.
Why? Is he somehow supposed to end up with Miss Perfect?
I'd say--as a girl who has never been thin enough to be any guy's physical type--that guys grow out of the outer-beauty-is-the-only-beauty phase. At least, the guys you want to date grow out of it. If they don't grow out of it, then you probably don't want to waste your time with them, anyway.
-Katie
inner beauty matters a lot more when everyone in your age cohort is older and uglier :3
of course, with botox & plastic surgery being so prevalent, that may not longer hold true to the same extent...
I don't think you should be so fast to judge them. I very much agree with what turnyalightsdownlow@xanga said about you seeing something different than what he sees. Maybe he does care about her more than you think and there might be more to his mindset then just the sex part. Bottom line, him and his girlfriend are the only ones who truely know how they feel about each other and what they see in each other. I don't think it's fair to be up in judgement.
and yes; looks grab your attention, but if the personality/inner beauty is crap, there isn't much to build on. looks only get you so far with people
inner beauty does counts, I mean who wants to (at least not me) to be with a beautiful chick but are really dumb, does nothing else but gossip, talk about fashion and doesn't care for their bf?!
of course outer beauty are important too.
i would look for inner beauty but all the girls i meet are immature and don't have that, so im kinda giving up on it =\
@Dare2BDiferentt@xanga - dude i just have to say, i never grow tired of your responses, it's a laugh everytime lol.
1. heck yes
2. heck yes
@turnyalightsdownlow@xanga -Â
Well I was merely stating a preference not a rule lolhe wants one thing : sex. and she's probably giving it to him too. guys will be guys, they don't care about all that stuff that we girls care about. trust me, it doesn't get much better when you get older.
@xourlastendeavorx@xanga - haha
So you're saying that girls are worth less the more times they've had sex. Nice.
1. Errmm yes? for most guys...
2. I'm picky. Both inner and outer beauty matters to me. I'm not going to lie. =/ BUT... usually when I love a guy's inner beauty, I'll probably think he's the best good looking guy around.
@mewithoutu77@xanga - or perhaps he sees something that the rest of the world doesn't ...
@TheUnbearableLightnessofPeeing@xanga - Well said.Â
I think he might actually like her just for who she is. There are TONS of girls who sleep around so if that was all that he wanted, he could have gotten anyone. Also, I think she might actually be pretty, just not in your eyes. Evidently, I've never seen her so I wouldn't know if that's actually true or not... it's just a possibility.
You are just judging her from rumors you've heard or what you've seen her do in past behavior. Maybe they actually know each other on a pretty deep level and like each other. You really don't know and can't assume unless you go and ask one of them.