The BF and I went out of town this past weekend and visited the city where he went to college. He showed me around, introduced me to his friends from back in the day and we had a great time.
We planned to have dinner Saturday night with some of his friends. His ex still lives in the city, too, but she wasn't around that day, so she couldn't come. Later that day, BF asked me what would happen if she'd happened to tag along for dinner, and I answered, "I'd punch her in the face."
While not a typically violent person, anyone who hurts (in this case, cheats on) someone I love will not garner any sort of sympathy or pleasantry from me. And, honestly, I wouldn't punch her, but I would probably be loath to try and make conversation with her, and I'd probably be less than cordial because I knew what she'd done to hurt my BF.
Should this ever actually happen, as uncomfortable as it should be, I know I should be the bigger person and try to be nice to her, but I can't help thinking what I'd want to say to her for having broken his heart.
...but then again, if they hadn't broken up, I would have never gotten a chance to be with him, so maybe I should hug her instead.
What would you do if you went to dinner with your current BF/GF's ex? Would you be polite or have the overwhelming urge to be mean?
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Comments (81)
It depends. I'd probably have the overwhelming urge to be mean. I broke up with my boyfriend. No less than two weeks later, he goes out with the girl I most despise. Then he dumped her about two months later, and we got back together. Can you say rebound? Haha...Yes, I'd most likely want to be mean, but it would depend on the demeanor of the ex.
well, im friends with her and she is married with two youngin's....so I'd be fine. The other girl was my friend before his gf and they really didnt last more than a month, the third girl....I HATED her because... no matter how nice I was to her she HATED me.
Ive always been nice to her, so I probably would still be, but I will let you know Id not let them have a minute of alone time!!
i would punch her too. my bf's ex cheated on him too...she's a fucking dirty whore. and this is not an exaggeration. fucking dumb cunt; she used to stalk my xanga, so i called her out on it, and she notified everyone on facebook. like, wtf is that about? its like, you dumb bitch, i caught you coming to my page every fucking day, and you wanna start shit with me?
and to make it worse, when we first dating a year ago, she told me she was still sleeping with him and tried to convince me to break up with him so many times. and i had a picture up of me and him eskimo kissing (which they never did), and she left me a comment and was like "oh, thats cute...how did that feel?"
wtf? CREEPER. im also like a foot taller than her. and i come from a better family, i know im prettier, and even though she's older, i just finished my 5th semester at U of M while she had only just finished her first year at a community college; so i know i already have more to offer; but DAMNIT i want to sock her in the face.
well, first off I know that my current boyfriend would not willingly go to dinner with his ex so I have to conjure up a new situation for you.
"anyone who hurts (in this case, cheats on) someone I love will not garner any sort of sympathy or pleasantry from me."
^ That is exactly the situation I would face so I understand where you are coming from. She did not treat him like the good person he is and so I don't see any reason why I should be courteous.
If she came up to us while in public, I would not be nice. I wouldn't full out punch her in the face, but I would let her know through the wonderous feminine body language that she is not welcome or respected. I knew her before I started dating him and before I knew she had dated him, and she acted like I was beneath her. For his sake, I wouldn't say anything because I know that he would want me to be the bigger person, but I would by no means go out of my way to be nice. If, however, she said anything inflammatory, I would ask her to leave because my boyfriend and I would rather have nothing to do with her.
With other boyfriends I have been nice to their exs, but some girls don't deserve it.
he didn't have any so that situation doesnt apply :]
To look at this from another light...
Your boyfriend is the person he is today because of past experiences like an ex cheating on him, or every other bad thing that's ever happened to him, and even the good things.
I say, if you are happy with who he is today, the experiences of his past should be easily looked over.
If you want to be super optimistic, you should have thanked her...
Be polite anyway. It shows you are the bigger person and that you possess class and maturity. Even though I know inside you are just dying to punch her in the face; I know what you mean and I'd feel the same way. Don't let temptations get the best of you; they're so short-lived.
My fiance's only "real" ex is a girl he dated briefly in high school. She cheated on him, which obviously doesn't make me happy, but it was 7 years ago. I did some pretty stupid things 7 years ago, too. I don't think it's my place to hold it against her; I've never met her, and my boy is on decent terms with her now, so if it doesn't bother him, it doesn't bother me. She seems like a nice girl; actually, from what I know about her personality, I'd probably get along with her pretty well.
Other than that, he had other "girlfriends" before me, but nothing serious. Actually, a few of them were some of my sorority sisters in college. And I've never had a problem with them, nor do I currently. One of them is in my same circle of friends, and she's a sweetheart--we get along great!
I'm just not really the jealous type; I'm confident that what we have is so much better than anything he or I ever had with anyone else. He has his past, and I have mine, and our pasts were what made us who we are and brought us together. I wouldn't change a thing.
Depends which ex because I have met one of his ex gf's and we're very nice to each other. His ex fiance on the other hand.... I'd punch her in the face and say "HA BITCH! HE'S MINE!!!!" Ya the were together 2 years ago and I'm the longest gf he's had since her but she treated him like garbage and she deserves it back. I'm just mean like that.
Why would I care?
He was with her before he met me. So whatever goes on between the two of them should stay between the two of them and be in the past.
If an ex happens to tag along for dinner, what more can I do than be nice to her until she actually try something?
There would be no words. Just me slamming his damn face into the car door like he did to me. But I guess the herpes he got from his now-gf are punishment for now.
To his GF- "So how is ol' Steven? Has he slammed ur nasty ass into a the wall yet, or do u enjoy that shit whore?"
((My my BF's 1st girlfriend so...)
@UnopenedSuitcases@xanga - same here (:
I'd be typially nice to her. But if she tries to pull any moves...
@aznditz@xanga - Aww, don't bash her because she's at a community college :( My best friend is resuming her second year there after having a baby and I don't think any less of her just because I'm going to be a senior in university. My older brother has also been going to community college, and at least he's not spending nearly as much as I am.
You can bash her for everything else though, she sounds like a total bitch.
Honestly, I have a BF that his ex cheated on him multiple times. BUT whatever the reason may be for them breaking up, its his past. Considering that he was able to move on means he wishes to keep his past, a past. I think that's a line that I shouldn't be crossing even if I was given permission to. However, if I ever was to meet her, I can't say I'll be able to be a complete "angel" but I can't say, i'd be ruthless to her either. What happened between them is between them. If they were able to make peace and keep some sort of friendship after all, then I can only honor his decision to keep someone like that as a friend and accept that.
I'd have the urge to file a restraining order; according to my BF, she's a certifiable LOONBALL. And not in that innocent, "oh - haha, she's just being Traci" way, but in that "Oh my gosh - she may actually pull a knife on me!!" way.
Fun times.
ill just be polite. they broke up already n i really never cared about his exes....i dun think we'll have a common topic either.
I'm a typically mean person, so I'd throw the fact that she screwed up in her face! Plus, if she cheated... I'd question why the BF wanted her along at all.
Two of my bf's exes are married or in a relationship, and honestly I could care less about them. Both are girly bitches. And his first ex cheated on him. Lamesauce.
If I were to cross paths with fiance's ex...
there would be words.
Though they would be warranted (very very very long story).
It would be hard for me to be polite.
Well, due to what happened between them, I'd own that bitch.
umm well i don't think i'd punch her i the face:) but i would make an effort to be nice, unless you could tell she wasn't trrying to do the same, because then the situation would go from nice to mean in about 2 seconds
it depends what kind of person she is. it's kind of weird for an ex to be tagging along for dinner when its just you and your boyfriend to begin with so i guess it really depends on what she's there for. i mean, if shes there because they've become good friends after the break up and she's really interested in getting to know you or whatever, that's fine, but if she's there solely to get on your nerves and make you feel uncomfortable, that's another thing.. and i'd probably punch her in the face at some point :)
i posted something and subsequently deleted it. but let's just say it wasn't pleasant.