Wednesday, 24 June 2009
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My BFF Keeps Buying Things for Her Crush
My best friend is basically my sister and we have a really close relationship. We tell each other almost everything that goes on in our lives, but today she did something to annoy me: She was at my house today swimming, but her crush called her and asked her to hang out. I was fine with this because she's graduating high school and she's hardly going to see him in college. She didn't text me for three hours and finally she texted me saying "guess what? i bought him a tattoo and he let me pick it out for him". I didn't like this for two reasons. 1) They aren't dating and 2) They don't get along half the time. I'm kind of an old-fashioned type of girl, meaning I think the boy should buy a girl things and treat her like a princess, especially if he's trying to grab her attention.
Am I overreacting? Should he be buying things for her or is it fine that she's spending money on him?
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Comments (22)
If they are not dating, then I would suggest this is a gift for a friend?
Doesn't sound like such a big deal to me. I buy my guy friends stuff all the time and they do the same for me. You don't have to date to show your "friend love" for someone.
It is her money so she can spend it how she wants to.
It seems silly to me. I know tattoos are not cheap. She should be careful around this guy
I bought my crush stuff before we were together so i don't really see the big deal
no biggie, i buy my guy friends nice things. i just find it strange that she bought the guy a tattoo. but hey, to each his own. just let her do her thing. like you said, she's not gonna really see him anyway..
Hmm...first off, are they somewhat close friends? I don't usually buy my guy friends stuff unless we were close and unless it was his birthday. I'm pretty old fashion too b/c I always thought that buying guys things would mean that you like them, and that's the biggest give away. A tattoo? I'm not sure how much that costs, but if this guy was really good, then he wouldn't let her buy him something, especially if they don't have special relationship (like dating or being best friends) and it's not his birthday. I wouldn't trust a guy like that b/c most guys I know have this pride thing where they don't ask girls (even if the girls insist, they will try to politely refuse) to buy them things with the exception of birthday/Christmas.
Maybe a tattoo is a bit much. but I suppose it mattered on why and how much. If she's going it because of a silly crush, she should stop. He might not like her that way and if she continues to buy things for him, he'll find out. There's always the possibliliy that he might use her to get things he wants. =/
Him: My car broke down, can I have some money?
Her: Oh sure!
Him: Thanks, I'll take you somewhere if you want.
Her: (score!) Sure, where?
Him: McDonalds?
I think you're overreacting just a bit. This isn't your situation to deal with, it's up to her. Personally I think spoiling someone isn't really right, no matter which way it goes. That's to say, it's no worse or better that she's buying things for him than it would be if he was buying everything for her. It's her money, so it's her choice.
Shit. Tattoos are expensive.
She probably likes him too much to actually see what she's doing. You can advise her as an older sister to watch it but at the end, she'll have to make the decision on her own and hopefully learn from it. I just hope she's not being taken advantage of but if she is.. another life lesson to be learn.
wow, your best friend has money to burn??
i think he might be exploiting the fact that he knows she likes him and she's going along with it because she thinks that's going to hold him closer to her. which is DUH not true, he's just using her. i think you should talk have a talk with her because they're not dating and money has a funny way of twisting things around when emotions are in the mix.
If it's a one time thing, forget it. It's not a big deal. Now if he's golddigging her..then that's no good.
It was rude of her to just leave your house for him, although I guess she wouldn't see him so you were okay with that. Though she could have just set a date....
As for the tattoo, that strikes me as a little weird. Were they drunk? Because people don't generally just decide to get a tattoo in like three hours, do they? That's a lot of money to spend impromptu, especially since she picked it out and that means there wasn't a message in it. But maybe they'd talked about it for a while... I doubt that though, they don't sound close to me.
It's probably good that you're annoyed- you're just looking out for her best interests. You should talk to her about it and tell her why it bugs you. Good luck!
"I think the boy should buy a girl things and treat her like a princess, especially if he's trying to grab her attention."
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! Oh, I'm sorry, just, after that it's hard to take you seriously.
A tattoo. How...romantic?
Well, they both lose in the long run. She wasted her money and he has a permanant tat on his body that he didn't choose.
@Coffee_Kaioken@xanga - I agree that the idea that a man should have to pay for EVERYTHING is a bit ridiculous. However, from personal experience, because I believe in going dutch so as to be fair to the guy, there have been timeswhen the guy gets half offended when I have offered to pay. As in it was somehow hurting his pride to allow such a thing to happen.
I think a tattoo is a bit much. But if she doesn't see a problem in buying him a tattoo, just try to look out for her. There's not much you can do.
erm a tattoo is a bit much. so yeah i'd expect the boy would pay, esp if they're not going out
honestly, the whole, boys need to treat girls out thing falls out of line for me. See, I've been earning my own since I was 14y/o and I've always learned to rely on myself for any "spending." I like to get things for my fiance and i don't really like it when he doesn't let me spend money. I like to do my equal share of treating him out and buying him stuff. I don't think there's anything wrong with your "BFF" getting him a tattoo..Tattoo prices should be very expensive though...I know mine was..=T
@lmflazyjai1984@xanga -i agree.
@mewithoutu77@xanga - thank you... and also if a guy buys a gift for a female friend does not always mean that he is interested either...