I've been going out with my boyfriend for 8 months, nearly 9 - he's my ex's best friend. Now I knew it wasn't going to be easy when I first got involved with him; I expected some complications. My ex and I didn't go out for that long - we lasted for a month so we weren't that serious. We had some moments a few months afterward but it didn't evolve into anything. Then out of the blue, nearly a year after he and I broke up, my friend was having a few friends over, and my ex's best friend was invited. I didn't expect anything to happen but he and I just clicked and it just happened.
We got on well and got more serious. My ex seemed perfectly fine with the whole thing seemingly - he was already in a long term relationship with his girlfriend. However, one night at my mate's, my boyfriend brought the subject of one night at my ex's up. It was at a party at my ex's house and he'd been going out with his girlfriend by that point. He told my boyfriend that I had sex with him that night. I couldn't believe my ears. He had lied to him. I could see him getting the wrong idea, as he was so drunk that he probably didn't even remember the night, but saying he could go into full detail of what happened was just unbelievable.
I was hardly drunk. I remember what happened clearly. We were watching American Wedding in the bed after everyone had left, and he asked me to have sex with him, but knowing he had a girlfriend, I said no. I then fell asleep next to him, which was probably the wrong thing to do; now that I think of it, I should have just gone home, but I was too tired and didn't have any money for a taxi.
His story is very different from mine. Saying I did have sex with him and he wasn't with his girlfriend at the time. I didn't know what on earth to do. How could I tell my boyfriend that his best friend is lying to him? I didn't want to be the one to put him in the position of having to choose who to trust - me or his best friend - but I told him the truth of what happened that night and it was left there.
Till the subject had been brought up again. With a few more stories which were just more lies from his best friend. Saying there was more times that I had sex with him when I didn't.
I couldn't care less if it was someone else saying all this stuff about me, but his constant lies are putting a strain on my relationship with my boyfriend, 'cause I can imagine being in his shoes and having to think about who he's meant to trust and I know that can't be easy.
What am I supposed to do?
Recommend
Comments (22)
tell him the truth. you have to tell him his friend is lying! then confront the friend and make him tell the truth. what a dirt bag
good luck <3
Tell him the truth.
A best friend would NOT do that.
I'll confront his friend about it since you already told your bf the truth. At the end, whoever he believes.. well, that will say a lot.
A dirtball! Just tell your bf the truth if he asks. And if that's how his best friend is, maybe that's not the best kind of friend you want.
Your ex-boyfriend is a lying jackass and you need to tell your current boyfriend that before he winds up becoming another ex. He is in a relationship with you and since he knows you guys were together he's going to have to make SOME choices between you and his friend. And now that you know how much of a lying prick his best friend can be, you need to tell him the truth quickly so he can realize how much better off he would be without an untruthful person like that in his life. I may sound harsh but my ex used to lie about me as well when I was dating his friend. His friend ended up doubting me too much and lost me. I wasn't comfortable with getting between their friendship and it cost me my relationship. You'll be doing your boyfriend a favor by being honest, trust me.
Tell him the truth! His best friend shouldn't even be lying.
What the hell is it with people telling lies like this? I got the reputation of being a whore when someone I broke up with said "She slept with me AND my friend while she was dating me!!". When I heard that I almost puked. It was so annoying.
Tell your boyfriend that what your ex said was not the truth, tell him calmly. "I do not want to get in between your friendship but what he is saying is not true at all." something like that.
my god, your ex is a douche bag. Confront of him as civil as you can (don't beat him up) and then talk to your boyfriend. It's not HIS word against YOURS and for your bf's sake, he's better off knowing his "best friend" is an asshole.
confront both of them, with u, ur bf, and ur ex being there all three of ya'll. if he's lying about you, well...it shows.
talk to both of them =)
it'll sort things out faster =)
Definitely tell him. Your ex is ruining your image by telling your boyfriend all sorts of lies. And that's really uncool.
Well you can either keep putting up with the lies till your bf either cuts his bestfriend loose or cuts you loose depending on which side he believes. OR you can set up a trap. Set up a trap so that your bf's best friend will be caught lying. Obviously this will take some planning and you'll have to make sure he lies about a certain date when you'll be with someone else (who can act as a witness) or just do what they do in the movies and secretly keep a tape recorder on you and confront your bf's best friend alone and ask him why he's spreading lies. Hopefully he shows his true colors and u catch it all on tape.
just tell the truth.
Punch your ex in his *ahem*
XD
@GtSugacane@xanga - Sorry I couldn't help but laugh at "lying jackass" XP
Anywho, the only thing you can do is tell the truth, whether he believes you are not.
Tell him that you knew it wasn't going to be wasy when you both started to go out. Also tell him that your ex is most likely to force him to choose between you and him. Also, your ex, as his best friend shouldn't be forcing a guy to choose between a girl and him. I mean, I understand your his ex, but that shows he's not over you or he's just an immature and rude dick [no offense].
invite them both over (or someplace else) and confront the ex. in close proximity to you both he will be less likely to lie and truth will be more likely to come out. even if he lies again - being around the table with both of you your boyfriend will notice when his best friend is lying.
Talk to him, confront your ex. explain to your bf the truth.
@mindyeat@xanga - exactly
Stop worrying about putting your boyfriend in this "situation." His bestfriend is causing the problem. Unless you really are lying.
thanks everyone for the advice. i think i'll get them both into the same room and i'll get him to tell the truth.
i guess you just tell him the truth, then say that although it seems like by the words of his bestfriend you might be lying, but you're telling the truth. and that he can choose who to believe, but you already told him the truth, and nothing but the truth
Maybe you should have a real talk with both of them at the same time. Ask him for proof that you guys slpt together.
Tell him the truth and confront your ex about the bullshit he's spreading.