Miss Gorilla and I were talking about waiting today...we both agree that we'd want to live with a person before we got married and that waiting for marriage was noble, but not something either of us is interested in doing.
I have a friend who's waiting for marriage to kiss a man - there is no way I could do that, but I completely respect her decision and know that she'll find someone who can respect her wishes, too. I also have a friend of a friend who's engaged, but because she has super Catholic parents, she and her fiance don't live together and won't until after they're married.
If you're waiting to do something with an SO (sex, kissing, living together, maybe even going on vacation?),
write us a post about it! Or maybe you wanted to wait but changed your mind or circumstances...either way, we're intrigued. Share your stories!
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Comments (37)
Sounds like a good topic to write about. :)
Word.
What about talking about movie ?
I was going to wait until marriage to have sex.. .but the boyfriend that I'm with now, we've dated for basically two years... and I just loved him enough to let him take my virginity... so there's that lol.
Plan is to wait for marriage and then a few more years fo kids. By that point we'll have been together 8 years total but maybe kids will come sooner if we're stable enough and have the money to support it. I've been noticing that some people have children first and then get married and I think, unless its an accident, people really need to know eachother and have a few stable years under their belt before they choose to bring a child/children into the world.
I've grown up in a Christian home so I'd obviously be taught not to have sex until after I"m married, but even when I went through my rebellious years I still didn't think about having sex. To me it's gonna be super special if both my husband and I are each other's firsts. And think about it: NO STD'S! Plus, you become emotionally connected in some way, shape, or form to your sexual partners and I don't want to be emotionally connected to people I don't get married to. Also, I've heard it said that when you finally get married you're pretty much bringing all of your sexual partners in bed with you because they're like a part of you. Sick isn't it? I don't judge people that don't want to wait, but that's not the way I wanna go. Let me just say that even if my husband isn't a virgin when we get married I know I still will be.
@TenNesSeE_GirL24@xanga - I agreeeeee
I'm waiting because I believe God intended sex to be between husband and wife. My parents had nothing to do with this decision (they are, in fact, quite liberal) so it was all on my own. Everyone's experiences are different, obviously, but I've seen the damage that pre-marital sex and even just "messing around" has caused in my life and not having sex, especially in college, is just one less thing to worry about (I mean the physical and emotional stress that can come with sex). I've been dumped a few times for refusing to "put out" but I just see that as an example of how a guy really feels about me. If he really loves me, he'll be willing to wait.
I absolutely HATE it when people assume that because I'm waiting I must be "extremely religious" or something. I grew up in a Catholic household, granted. But I'm waiting til marriage for sex because I only want to give myself to one person in the entire world. It's special enough to me that I know the person will love me for my decision and gladly wait.
A lot of people I have talked to say, "sex isn't that great. it's not like seeing stars or feeling some intense bond. it's just a physical thing." I strongly believe that it can be amazing and make you starstruck and all of those things if you have the right person at the right time in your life. Some people are just so jaded about the whole thing =/
I'm dating a girl who said she plans to wait till marriage, but then tells me
if it's the right person, it might be ok. I told her, just stick to your initial plan,
wait till marriage.
Living together before marriage? Not a chance.
I need my space before I get officially tied down.
Prolonging the inevitable.
I am staying a virgin until after marriage. My reason's are for the religious part of it, but also for my fear of regret. If I was to loose my virginity to someone who would later NOT be my husband, I would regret it so much. I want to give my husband my virginity. It's a very priceless and valuable thing to me, you can only give it once, to one person.
As for living with a person, that's a different story. If I was serious with a person I would want to live with them for 6months-??? during or even before an engagement. It would help me see if I can live with dealing with my partner's imperfections, bad habits, working traits, etc. and if we can compromise and negotiate problems that would occur in a household. (:
I never wanted to wait until marriage, I just knew it was something that I wanted to experience. I think chemistry in bed is incredibly important to a long-lasting relationship. I still was careful about when I was going to give it up, but I decided once I was really in love and I had been dating the person a year I would possibly be willing to & it happened a while back, no regrets.
I would absolutely live with someone before I get married--but only after being serious with them. I think it's important to see how your SO lives, whether they are actually messy, neat, gross, etc. I think it's crucial to see every bit before you decide whether you want to spend your life with that person.
I don't want to live with or have sex with someone until I marry them. Mostly because of my Christian beliefs.
I personally do not beleive in waiting for marriage to have sex, I mean, to each her own, but I find such an ideal to be silly. The way I see it, sexual compatability is a Huge part of a relationship, I would rather Know that I enjoy having sex with my fiance before I marry them. Another point. We, as human beings, are Animals. At our core we are driven by the need for survival, power, and sex. We want to live, we want to strive and we want to reproduce. Does it not seem kind of absurd to hold back on one of our driving forces?
I am not one to wait, for sex or otherwise. The way I see it, if you are secure enough with yourself to have sex, and mature enough to deal with the possible consequences, then there is no real reason to wait. On a side note I see sex as an extremely positive thing, Yes there are Some Circumstantial issues with it. You'll notice you can usually tell Who in a group is getting regular sex,, just from the way they hold themselves? Tis like an endorphin drip {as opposed to morphine}
Just my thoughts, and for the record, I completely respect anyone elses choices and thoughts on this matter :p
i used to think that i thought i should wait 'till marriage, but then i realized when i got older that it was a combination of community pressure and brainwashing from my parents & religious background, and not my opinion.
i actually didn't want to wait at all haha! i don't think virginity is a big deal, and i happily live & sleep with my boyfriend ^_^
whatever "it" is, i wait until it feels right. i don't think marriage is necessary for anything, or necessary at all.
.I was going to wait but then i found out about the joys of sex.I respect everyone's decision, but sex is an amazing thing. I have never taken anyones virginity and i don't plan to
im a 22 year old male who has never kissed a girl or had sex. i not exactly waiting for marriage but i am waiting for the right girl
@MissPixieGlitter@xanga - I completely agree and think you worded it perfectly.
I personally believe you should have sex before marriage in order to get to know yourself. I by no means encourage sleeping with every guy you meet but I think you need to get to know yourself and your own preferences as well as seeing that yours are compatible with your partner's before you two marry. marriage is a big deal, and so is sex. you need to get to know yourself and your partner inside and out (pun?) before taking that step.
oh and just because you have sex does not automatically mean you're going to catch an std.
I wanted to wait to have sex until after marriage, I was old-fashioned, love, then marriage, then sex. The sex HAD to come after marriage. It was my choice to wait and I realized that many people didn't respect my wish and I deserved to find someone who would. Then I met my current boyfriend, we've been together for two years and I'm not a virgin anymore. I love him deeply and trust him very much and he respects every decision i make. We are each other's first and we are very happy with our monogamous relationship. We shall move in together when we have the money to do so then maybe legally marry in the future. Sometimes I truly regret not waiting until marriage but I know that I really and truly love the person I am with and I plan to be with him for as long as possible. Being in love with him and being with him is far more important to me than marriage because I have learned that love is so much more powerful than the legal document known as marriage.
@rAzOrKisS09@xanga - me too :) ha.
I wanted to wait, when I was young, and impressionable. I'm saying this not to imply that everyone who waits for a sexual hurdle is as naive as I was- I'm just saying that I was naive. I molded my personality to whomever I was dating at the time in high school. Therefore...he wanted to wait until marriage, I wanted to wait until marriage. 2 years later and I dumped him after three months of trying to make it long-term when he went away to college and I stayed home- it was just the deciding factor, there were so many other things wrong with our relationship, but when I dated another guy... it was different. I had sex with him because I was in love with him. We'd continue to date the next 3 years. But my first time wasn't this massive strawberry wine-ish, puncture of innocence because even though my 2 year ex had wanted to wait, we did almost everything else. and what's innocent about that??Â
now I have a healthy sex life but still only with people I love who will get std tested for me (I guess I'm a prude like that) so I've only "done it" with 2 ppl. but if for some reason my amazingly fantabulous relationship didn't work out (and it WILL so this is purely hypothetical!) I would definitely do it if I fell in love again. Waiting just wasn't me. It was all him.
I never had the idea to wait until marriage for sex because a few years ago I didn't even think I'll ever get married. I made my first boyfriend wait for like a year and a half and then we broke up so we never actually did it, thankfully. I didn't make him wait because of marriage in the future but because I wasn't comfortable to have sex yet. With my second boyfriend, I did it without much waiting because I was comfortable with him. One of my friends has had a lot of boyfriends and she was finally about to do it with him but they broke up. Later she found out what a jackass he was and all I could tell her was "Having sex [for the first time or the 100th time] is not about love. It's about respect and knowing I won't regret it in 20 years. Love is a bonus." I know if I did it with my first boyfriend, I would've regretted it. I don't think I'll regret it even if I break up with my current boyfriend, and that's the difference.
I do believe that before you get married, just like before you buy a car, you take it out for a test drive. This doesn't have to be sex, but at least living together. You could like each other from far away, then get married, finally have sex and realize it sucks or worse.
I didn't wait until marriage to have sex, but sometimes I wish I had. Then again, I've heard some horror stories about first-time sex on the wedding night. They make me glad I didn't wait.
As far as marriage, I'd get married now if it were feasible, but my fiance and I both think we should wait until we're done with school and all that. So, we're waiting.
Kids...I think having them can wait. I'm still not sure that I'm someone who should be having kids. They're cute and all, but I think I might be too selfish. Lol.