Miss Rhino
"Not only does he live over 700 miles away, not only will I most likely never see him again, not only was he the WORST KISSER in the history of this world, but he is STALKING ME against my will!"
A real winner.
My friend Michelle can no longer go on AIM without utilizing the invisible option. Never can we Facebook chat because she refuses to let herself be seen. He will find her there too. She screens all phone calls out of habit now, and my text messages to her go for days without being read because she fears that the text alert is him trying to contact her.
What could he possibly want? They kissed once in a moment of drunken graduation jubilee and went their separate ways. It's not as if he was expecting a relationship.
It's not as if they have made plans to see each other again after graduation. The distance between the two makes that idea nearly impossible anyway. They weren't even close friends. But now that graduation is over, he has been PERSISTENTLY hounding her on a daily basis and all he seems to want to do is make small talk.
While this is a sweet gesture, you have to admit it's frustrating and baffling. Just when you think you've got the male species all figured out, they go and try to form a long-distance FRIENDSHIP with you after a solitary kiss. If only all guys were so... nice. Is that what is going on here? Is he simply being nice? Or does he have an ulterior motive. What could make this guy try so very hard to stay in touch with this girl? Just for one second, imagine a guy or girl that you kissed, just once, a near stranger that you knew you would never see again. Would you call them every other day just to say hi? Please agree with me that this is utterly bizarre. What is going on here?
If there is anyone out there who could provide us with some enlightenment, it would be greatly appreciated.
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Comments (32)
How did he get her number anyway???
I would seriously tell him to fuck off. =/ Maybe a bit nicer but yeah. If he still does it, block his number. You may never see him again though so you don't really have anything to worry about, just tell him enough is enough.
just block him on aim, change your preferences so that no one but the ppl on your buddy list can view you, and block/unfriend him. if you don't really owe him anything, what's the harm in that?
That is a little...odd. Maybe if she keeps ignoring him he'll eventually get the message? Or if she just talks to him and tells him straight out not to continuously call, text, IM, etc.
You can have your service provider block his number for you.
Holy shit what a creeper. Tell him to stfu and leave her alone, or you'll pull a restraining order against him. Also, block him from everything he's ever tried to contact her on.
Creeper, call your provider and block the number. It's cool to try to stay in touch, but daily basis on someone who doesn't have the same intentions just leads to stalker-status.
Or you could just tell him that you think he's paying too much attention to you and it is becoming annoying.
Kiiiilll
if she hasn't tried it already, she should just tell him straight up that she's not interested in keeping touch to make small talk with someone she kissed while intoxicated. and if she has tried this but he's persistant even now, then I think she should just say that this is harassment and that he should stop before she presses charges. Whether she is inclined to do so or not is irrelevant, I think that SHOULD scare him off.
but for the time being, she should change her number. it's a pretty shitty situation since it's a pain in the ass in notifying everyone of her friends but really, that's the best way to do it even if talking to him isn't going to help! Good luck. (how did he get her number in the first place? btw, she can BLOCK him on FB and same goes for IM)
...She could try telling him to back off. Honestly, looking for insight in the human mind on the internet is kinda silly. He's the only one who knows what he wants. Maybe he's a stalker. Maybe he's just lonely. Maybe he's head-over-heels in love with her. He's still a human being and deserves to hear from her up front that she doesn't want him hounding her.
Failing that, getting his number blocked is a good idea.
look up the concept of limerence. additionally don't run from him, challenges and chases will only provoke it. Let him see you online, let him IM you if he wants, just don't reply, eventually he'll get bored of it and move on. or you could grab this by the horns and try actually just giving him what he wants once (that is if it really is just a phone call to say hi) reciprocal actions sometimes stops this.
there are many situations that are similar to this one, boy chases girl, girl chases guy. but how many times have you read/heard about the chased one stopping and standing in one spot to confront the chaser? be real "look, we kissed once, we're 700miles apart, i'm not into you that, enough with this, it's kind of creepy"
whatever you do, don't try to ditch him by going all ninja like, that makes it appealing as a fun game. just talk to him here and there on AIM. you'd be surprised on how quickly it'd prolly end if you just threw him a bone here and there. just make sure not to say anything that would lead him on. from the sound of it he doesn't seem like an extreme stalker or anything of the sort (again I don't know for sure).
best of luck.
and seriously. if hes THAT much of a pain and cause for concern/worry/fear.
you really shouldn't have him as a friend on face book. think about it.
I think the solution to this problem is very simple.
Your friend should tell this guy to fuck off.
he probably is a socially awkward loser who feels the need to stalk this girl because that kiss was the most he's ever gotten or will probably ever get if he plays like this... sorry to be harsh, but that's probably what's going on. i once fooled around with a girl i didnt know, we went our separate ways and i saw her the next morning randomly and attempted to make small talk, it turned awkward very fast, so i stopped
Though I don't support the guy's actions, I can see someone acting that way if they delusionally feel that something extremely special happened during that kiss. Especially if it was his first kiss.
If he keeps talking to her even after she tells him not to, then it's kind of creepy.
@HeartOfPandora@xanga - Yup, agree with this completely. Threats to get restraining orders normally can stop guys like these. I've met a guy like this before, he worked with my mom and that's how he got my number.
@kn1ghtviper21@xanga - omg whut?! He asked your MOM for your number? And she gave it to him?! o.o
What...you think he only wants to be her friend?
A similar thing is happening to me.
Confront him. That's the only way she's going to know why he's doing what he's doing.
Confront him. If things don't improve then block the AIM screen name and delete him from facebook.
He likes her, and is stupid for not getting the point that she doesn't want to talk to him. I'v ehad guys call me 50 times a week, me never answering, for about a month straight, before they got the point! I don't understand the density of guys' heads sometimes.
@robbiearnold@xanga - great answer. I'm forwarding that on to her. Thanks so much!