Saturday, 20 June 2009
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How Should You Tell People You're Taken?
I was talking to my friend the other day, we'll call her H. H was telling me about how she recently starting seeing a guy (D) exclusively, after having multiple casual relationships with other guys. Apparently she's not sure how to tell these other guys, who keep IMing, texting and calling her, that she is with someone now, without being rude. I told her that she should just mass text message all of them and tell them she's with D exclusively and that they shouldn't contact her, but, never one to cut her options completely, H is against this method.
Don't get me wrong, H seems really into D and the decision for them to be exclusive was, as I hear it, a long talk between them concluding in them only wanting to see each other. There have been guys, in the past, that wanted to be exclusive with H and she politely declined, but she wants to see D exclusively.
So I've turned to you, Xanga, to ask you guys. How should H tell these guys she's with D now?
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About the Author
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- From: El_Prego_Nikki@xanga
- About Me: Nicole, 18, mommy, pulling myself together.
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Comments (53)
Um, maybe just say it?
@Dare2BDiferentt@xanga - Agreed.
Honesty tends to be the best policy. How they act after she is polite and short about it is their problem. She has no control over their actions and shouldn't feel responsible for their feelings, aside from trying to be nice and courteous about it, you know?
If she says it in an honest way, she'll be doing nothing wrong.
randomly insert " oh my bf and i love this or that" in the convros
If they keep texting her then she can just tell them one by one. Oh I just started seeing someone so that kind of relationship is off. Nothing wrong with being honest now is there?
Heh. Those hearts look like 2 boobs.
flower behind the left ear. :]
@silverlocket_88@xanga - I've always felt like a bitch doing that, though. Like I'm not respectful enough to just come out and say it. :/
Also, some guys don't get that.
Out with it! Just be blunt and direct and say, "I have a boyfriend". Simple as that.
send that mass text. let them know all at once. It is best for everything to be said cut and dry rather than coat in a polite covering that some people who can't take a hint won't see.
facebook relationship status it!
The next time a guy says something she can say, "Well, the thing is that I've met someone now," or something like that. She doesn't need to send a mess e-mail like some kind of mailing list. I think dealing with them as they come one at a time is okay.
There is nothing worse than letting people still think they have a chance. She has to just say it out. I mean there is keeping her options open and being selfish...
she doesnt have to say she's just with d. just tell her other dates that she doesnt feel like dating for a while because she has to do other things for herself. if this is a method that bothers her, then she can say that AND add that she's seeing someone in particular at the moment but who knows, maybe they can date again later.
My friend wore a sign on her back that said "Taken by _________"
It worked.
i was in that situation somewhat. kind of casually dropped the word "boyfriend" in the conversation.'
Yeah for using the "BF" word in conversation - or bluntly - or however, as long as it gets out there.
I told someone I was taken once in a very evil way. I was flirting heavily with a girl, and slammed her into a wall. Then turned away and told her something along the lines of "see, I am obviously butch enough to slam a girl into a wall, take her, kiss her". (we were discussing the ridiculousness of butch/femme role limitations). She, breathless, reminded me that I had not kissed her. I got closer and said, "I know. I have a girlfriend", smiled, and turned away. She was mad!! But damn was it funny!
She just needs to tell them.
Or find the way to mention her boyfriend.
As above really. The mass txting is a little OTT.
"Let's go to that restaurant!"
"Oh! My boyfriend and I love going there." or something ... just casually slip it in (:
@MattFreakinNix@xanga - That was my vote. Some people are a little more personal about shit. Whatever. lol
Just find a way to insert the word, "my boyfriend" into the conversation. I guarantee they will never speak to her again.
I agree with the couple of people above who said she should just put in "My boyfriend" or "My boyfriend and me done blah blah". She could put the last one anywhere. They ask, "What's up?" she could say, "I'm talking to my boyfriend, and you?" or something like that.
Or she could be a brave soul and come out and say it.
She could always do the mass thing like you said.
Social networking always has a relationship status. But it sounds like she doesn't want people to know, which defeats the purpose of being exclusive, does it not?
I don't how know she should say it exactly (maybe bluntly), but she had better say it. It's not fair to these other guys to be led on by some chick who has someone but wants to keep her options open in the event she becomes available. She wants her cake and wants to eat it too in that sense. Of course, she could always mention what she and her boyfriend did, but I question what kind of loop it would throw for these other guys who thought she was single this entire time. I think she'd be better off just coming out with it. After all, typically speaking, guys are blunt, right?
@ordinary_gir1@xanga - this is proof that facebook is taking over every aspect of our lives!!!