First Date Chronicles - Drowsy Recollections

Saturday, 20 June 2009

First Date Chronicles - Drowsy Recollections
Miss Gorilla

They say that the family members of friends are off limits, and there is a reason why this rings true. My sophomore year of high school, I suffered from a brief infatuation with my friend Megan's cousin. We'll call him Mr. Neutered Malnourished Raccoon.

We had spent a few hours talking online about the possibility of meeting up the next day. I playfully suggested showing up in the morning to wake him up. He laughed along with me, but didn't seem to buy into it. I wasn't joking. Due to my overly obsessive and desperate state at the time, had he said jump, I would have begged him to tell me how high. I woke up at an ungodly hour, applied far too much makeup, and drove to his house. His recollection of the next few hours is a little less hazy than mine, but apparently I practically mounted him the moment I entered the door.

I vaguely recall him being quite persistent himself, but we'll humor him into thinking I could barely contain myself. Clearly, I was overflowing with passion when it came to my undying attraction for him. Part of this holds somewhat true, but I'd like to think I was significantly less forward.

We watched Cruel Intentions and listened to Wonderwall on repeat for hours. It must have been something about Liam Gallagher's voice, because this rabid raccoon was practically frothing at the mouth. I wrote a story spelled out in candy hearts that he quickly picked up on. This led me to be temporarily convinced that he was no doubt the prince of my young and seemingly boring existence. While my version of the story is somewhat less scandalous, his is much more intriguing.

Mr. Neutered Malnourished Raccoon's Version of the Date:

It was a beautiful summer night, and as the breeze blew calmly through the window next to my bed, I lay there thinking about what might happen the next day when this girl I knew was "supposedly" coming over for a "supposed house date"...

The next thing I know, I'm being woken up by a smooth pair of lips rubbing gently against mine. My eyes opened and I saw her sitting there on the bed next to where I had been sleeping. A quick glance towards the clock showed that it was nearly 9 a.m. Damn, this girl had some sort of intentions that I was completely unaware of. My next thoughts before looking around the room: "How in the hell did this girl get in my house without my unlocking the door?" More questions arose, as I saw some unfamiliar items laying around: A Burger King crown, an oversized box of candy hearts, and the a copy of Cruel Intentions laying on my table.

After a minute of pondering what the hell was going on, things started rolling quickly. I popped the DVD in, if only to watch Sarah Michelle Gellar half-naked, while she started to play with that larger-than-life box of hearts. Sooner than later, there was hundreds of candy hearts laying on my makeshift coffee table spelling out a love story. Rather cute, in most aspects. In hindsight, I had never thought I'd see myself writing a story in candy hearts, with a girl or by myself.

As the ending credits of Cruel Intentions came to a close, the girl got up and put in an Oasis CD. Having not heard any of their songs but one, I knew what was coming. "Today is gonna be the day that they're gonna throw it back to you..." Of course, how could I forget? Even though we weren't officially together, nor had we even talked about it, this song had been dubbed "ours". And, of course, as most "songs" do, our moods were heightened and I found myself laying on my back as our lips met again for the first time since I had been awoken. I won't go into details, but things got hot and heavy.

A short time after, I walked her outside to her car and gave her a hug and another kiss which, oddly enough, ended up being the last kiss that we ever shared. On my venture up the stairs and back up to my room, I had a recollection of what I would call an odd day, due to all of the random events that had occurred. But, looking back at that day, I wouldn't change a thing.

And after all, you're my wonderwall.