So I read this post and it made me think so much of the situation I'm in at the moment.
My friend and I have always been the ones without boyfriends, but recently she told a guy she liked him, and now they're going out. When she told me, I spent the next three days in a funk and even went to an old flame for comfort (not in a dirty way - I'm 16, I don't do that kind of thing). I'd even coerced myself into believing I still had feelings for him because I knew he'd had them for me.
But it backfired, and now every time I see my friend with her "boyfriend" I get sick to my stomach. I hate being jealous, but we would always complain about not having anybody, and now that she does, I feel like I have no one. But I guess I have to suck it up.
Has anything like this happened to you? What would you do in my situation?
Comments (41)
Yup all the time. . . my friend alllwaayys has a boyfriend . . . and well as for me, havent had one in two years. . .
Yes...my best best friend and I hahaha...I'm still boyfriendless =/ Sometimes I feel like a third wheel around them as well...it sucks but you move past it :)
Well..... with that in mind, you just start looking for MORE friends to hang out with! I didn't have a boyfriend until 19, but I hung out with a bunch of friends, was friends with everyone... so I wouldn't have to worry so much about being the third wheel all the time. You can do it!
One of my freally really close friends has a bf.. and she talks about him all the time.. and they're really happy whenever they're together. Makes me feel lonely when I see them together :P You'll get over it eventually. You should be happy for your friend cuz she found somebody :)
I've been through this too often, back when I was a teenager, but it'll past. Chin up girl :)
whenever i felt like that, i always told myself i was just being the SMART girl, the girl that doesn't want to get hurt.
yeah, bad game plan. because then when you are actually IN something that ends badly, you feel like a goddamn hypocrite.
This seems common. My two best friends both got their first boyfriends at approximately the same time last year. The first relationship ended within 2 weeks (they knew each other for a month total) and the other ended a few months ago. There's no need to be jealous, just know that your time will come around soon. You may be thinking 'yeah, right...' and I totally understand that, because that was me until less than a week ago. I'm going on (my first) date this coming week so I understand 100%. Be there for her, support her...because, remember, when you get into that relationship you'll probably need her for advice, just like she'll need you...
In high school, I was always this girl. I thought I wasn't "dateable". In your situation, I would hang out with other single girlfriends.
..Few years ago, my best friend would have been you.. and I would have been your best friend. So..this is from another side..Your best friend's side perhaps.
I always suspected that she might have felt the way you feel now. I really did.
Thing is having a new flame doesnt change anything between us and if there was ever a choice of who came first, it would be her no doubt.
Dont feel like that because Im sure that she's always there for you. No matter how it may seems. trust her =)
Good luck.
Everybody finds their special someone at different times in their life and it is usually when they not only least expect it but when they are actually ready for it too. At least that's what I believe on the second part. I could very well be wrong about the second part. I didn't date anybody in my high school when I went to school. It was a couple of weeks after I had graduated that I found my now-fiance. But don't be jealous as you will find your special someone in all good time. I know you're probably thinking, "Yeah right. What do you know?" and I don't blame you as I've felt the very same way. I dated quite a few losers in my time and I didn't find my special someone until after high school and it was when I'd given up on the last ex-boyfriend of mine and inadvertently ditched a few dating misconceptions that I actually found my special someone.
usually, my friends are in a relationship when I'm single, so I've been the 3rd, 5th wheel in big groups whether i can deal with it or not. it all starts as a "girls' night out" and then somehow all their bfs come out and I feel like the oddest person in a crowd of ALL couples. but i know what you are feeling....
when my BEST FRIEND first hooked up with her bf, I was single (what else is new, when I'm in a relationship, everone else is single, argh!!) and at one point, I kept trying to tell her she can do better than him (she can, really) and I felt sick while doing it because I knew... I'm losing her to him and they'll go MIA on me for a month or two while they hit that honeymoon stage, who the hell was I going to hang out without her then!?! But her being happy... seeing her blush and glow from the happiness she's feeling from her relationship made me get over it (it took about a month) and stop being so bitter about it. My time will come and well, at least I can meet and date more than one guy!! (that's what i tell myself to console myself these days)! lol
feel better.... but really, read (thats how I got through most of my bitter days) or watch stupid movies (next on the list: "Who Framed Roger Rabbit?") and it'll pass soon. Good luck!
aww girl, we are stuck in the same boat! (whatever that means haha!)
I've always been the friend without a boyfriend or the one in a long-distance relationship. My two best friends have boyfriends and I have many other friends in relationships and it always felt weird when they would kiss and I would kind of have to look away. My boyfriend lives in Denmark and he's staying with me this summer, but I know when he goes back, I'll be that same friend. I hate it, but I'm pretty cool about it. At first there's jealousy, but you gotta find something to keep your mind off of your friends going off on double dates and what-not.
go out on dates. its normal to be jealous.
It's okayy. You still have a long way to go. Sixteen is young :)
don't worry. If you do get jealous of your friend, try not to think so much about her. Relationships take a lot of work.
don't worry =)
i was just like you, only my friends ALWAYS had boyfriends =D
most of the time they'll spend just as much time with you as their boyfriends, and often they would invite me along on their "dates" they always had nice boyfriends who i was friends with so it wasn't a problem, and i understood that sometimes they needed a little "them" time =)
but their boyfriends were nice and also gave us girl time =D
im sure you're friend will make lots of time for you, so you wont have time to feel left out =)
patience and stuff. I think it's funny that when you're looking, you'll never find one. When you stop looking, it'll just happen. Hard concept to follow though.
Happens to me too, not with BF's but with GF's. I do get that pang, but at the end of the day as long as my mates happy and I still get to buy things for myself, we're all good =D
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Honestly, you are definitely too young to really be worrying about this! I'm not scoffing at your age by any means. If you are only 16, enjoy this time discovering who you are becoming (a process that will take years). There will be plenty of time for boys later.
If you've already have one old flame then you have one up on me, I didn't have my first boyfriend until I was 16 and a half.
I was always the one without a bf and when my closest friends would hang out with them more than me then i would get pretty annoyed but then i made new friends and im happy :3.
I'm the only one of my friends who hasn't ever had a real serious relationship nor have I had a boyfriend for the past two and a half years. I"ve actually met someone who hasn't had a girlfriend I think, so I'm workin' on it with that guy since he's been in the same position as me :P
I'm not going to say that relationships don't mean anything, but jealousy only has power when you let it. Relish your single time and make sure you focus on yourself; getting to know yourself better, working to improve yourself. This is the time where you get to make yourself a better person, and you'll thank yourself if you do it because you'll get a stable relationship later and have good self-esteem.
Relationships seem like a big deal, but they're really not. It's not the relationship itself people typically crave; it's finding that one person that connects with you. You'll have better chances of finding him/her and keeping him/her if you take this opportunity to become the best person you can be.
maybe
you
likehermorethenafriend.uhm. no offense, but stop whining.
it's sounds like you're mad at her for being happy when you're not.\
and that's pretty damn bitchy.