Fmylife.com contains short day-to-day life anecdotes. A simple recipe: in one sentence, each site visitor can tell the shitty moment which ruined his day. These short stories must begin with "Today" and end with "FML".
Here are our favorite five submissions from
F*** My Life this week:
Today, I got into a heated argument at a restaurant with a guy I am seeing because he refused to let me pay for the bill and I thought it was sexist. When he finally agreed, I gave the waiter my card, only to have him return a minute later telling me it was declined. FMLToday, I finished the run for a play in which I played a gay man. Now that all the performances are over, I have kissed a man more times in my life than I have kissed a woman. I'm straight. FMLToday, I decided I had gathered enough solid evidence to justify dumping my cheating girlfriend. When I turned up, she broke up with me before I had a chance to confront her. Why? Apparently I have trust issues. FMLToday, my mom had one too many and announced to all of my friends that, if she had the opportunity, she would bang Gwen Stefani. FMLToday, I picked up my 17 years old daughter after a late night movie in down town and got pulled over by a cop. He questioned us for a solicitation. I told the cop that she was my daughter but he said "so you are the daddy" and laughed. Good to know that my daughter looks like a ho and I a perv. FMLthat last one is my favorite. did you have any fml moments this week?
Comments (17)
That last one is so awful, yet so hillarious.
omg. the last one is horrible. and well so is the drunk mom wanting to bang gwen stefani too ha wow!
The last one.... wow. I don't even know what to say to that. Talk about embarrassing...
Wow, bang Gwen Stefani? Hahaha That's a good one.
Awww... the poor dad!!!
the second and the last one i think is the funniest. poor dad!
LOL DADDY
LMAO! That's horrible! What the hell would you have to do? Show ID?
Today, randomly checked my bank account, and found out that I haven't getting paid this month. Also, last night, the girl I've just started dating wanted to go out for drinks, she got really friendly with me, and we ended up having sex. It was our first time. Today she's in a bad mood because she thinks I liquored her up to sleep with her. She also told me that she has a second job- as a hooker. FML.
The last one sounds very embrassing.
oh the last one.. poor father :(
The last one is exactly like that one commercial where two cops mistake a father and daughter for a perv and hooker. The daughter [wear a miniskirt, on her way to a concert] was leaning into the car window to get money from her dad to buy gum and the police flashed their headlights right at that second.
LOL @ THE LAST ONE xD
2nd and last LOL.
the last one...sooo awk!
i love fmylife.com. when i read some of them i'm sooo grateful that they haven't happened to me lol
most def, the last one is funny !
poor dad
but that's funny lol....