Um, I'd slap a bitch. 

It's pretty pathetic that you find pleasure in knowing that your advocating a married/taken man's cheating. 

I'm... oddly intrigued by seeing the "flip side." I don't agree with it - but it's intriguing none-the-less... and I do appreciate you sharing it (seriously.)

Well if I dress in drag... Bahahaha sorry jokes aside, I don't think of myself capable of cheating really, my honor is loyalty. I'm quite honest, but I am also a realist and reality dictates circumstances and how we chose to do what we do. I hold no bias for you =)

This is a good post. I've been the other woman. But frankly didn't care, because his "woman" was sleeping around all over town, the physical part of their relationship was over, and they'd decided to officially end things when their lease was over. Whatever, we started dating before that time. And that stupid bitch had the nerve to call ME the whore, when at least I was attempting a relationship, not just out getting some strange.

Regardless, after that shitstorm, our relationship blossomed, and I married the guy. And no, I don't cheat on him, and he doesn't cheat on me. It was a bad situation that turned into something good.

@chayswag@xanga - @MangoWOW@xanga -  You guys almost disgust me, reading your comments.  They are cold hearted and rude.  There is such a thing as a polite disagreement.  This woman is probably not proud of her second life, I don't know many people who are proud of being TOW.  She was opening up and being honest and sharing herself with us.  Sure, I'm not exactly fond of her choices, and no, I feel no sympathy for her decisions, but I respect that this is how she finds some sort of happiness.  I respect her honesty, sure, it's not to her husband, or their wives, but it's to herself.

Why don't you two try being in relationships where you are missing some sort of factor that drives you insane, that makes you hate who you are and what you have chosen for yourself.  She finds some peace of mind, some freedom in being in affairs, and although it's not what you and I may think are healthy choices, it might be the only thing that keeps her going sometimes.  It's obvious she still loves her family, because she stays... she however must feel like she's missing passion and love in her life... and you guys know that this is what many women thrive on.

Beautiful post.

I'm not trying to be offensive to you two, Chay and Mango, I'm trying to tell you two that you're being harsh and cruel, and in essence, kicking a person while they are down.  Your responses are exactly why some people refuse to open up to other people.

TOW should only be forgiven/respected/not hated if they didn't know he was taken.

@blufrogz37@xanga - It's no ones business until you post it on an open forum for people to discuss and comment it. I can eventually forgive myself because I didn't know I was the other woman. However she knows perfectly well that she's messing around with a man who is taken and that she might end up hurting his SO/wife. She  enjoys the fact that he's going behind his back for her. It's a self esteem boost and that's pretty disgusting in my eyes. I'm not going to fight about this. I gave my view: I said in my eyes she was a whore and thats it. 

I like this post. I've been there and I understand it COMPLETELY!

@MangoWOW@xanga - sometimes it has nothing to do with self esteem. by even suggesting such a thing would make it seem that we're completely proud to be the other woman. which is not true. some of us (with maybe the tiniest bit of morals) feel bad for her and want to tell her but at the same time. We like him. We want him. It doesn't boost our self esteem. HOw is that even a self esteem boost if he doesn't even leave her?

some men actually desire to escape with sociopat/two-faced evil soccermoms that is hilarious and a sign of the times I'll never be the other woman because I'm not giving him the satisfaction of having his cake and eating it, too lol these cheaters are pros at manipulation and TOWs are falling for their player game if you feel that you aren't wrong, then why don't you send a letter to his wife justifying all of the misunderstandings

it's nice hearing this from you... but the way you contrast being satisfied by something that would obviously cause someone else so much pain to your ordinary, sweet, typical soccer mom front with great kids and a nice husband is kinda lame. you make yourself sound fake. it's kinda disgraceful that your friends would never guess this stuff. the stranger example doesn't say much.. but your own friends, they have no idea who you really are or what? i just think it's fake and a bit ridiculous. i don't do the whole cheating thing. i wouldn't want it done to me, it doesn't sound fun, and to be honest i'd be a complete baby about it. 

@bmrowland@xanga - hmm did you really expect this to pull everyones heart strings? get real.

@chayswag@xanga - LOL hero status chelsea.

@jeezshoua@xanga - Agreed.

I've never considered it only the other womans fault. There is infact a man cheating there. It's hard to forget. But there are plenty of women who DO come onto married men WILLINGLY. Men who are taken are very appealing to a lot of women because that shows that they're able to commit. It's like a message being transmitted to their brain from the mans wedding ring. Sure, he goes along with it. I'm not excusing that whatsoever. But I'm not going to excuse what the other woman does, either, just because she's not the only one doing it. It takes two to tango, and in this case, both are equally guilty. Even if the other woman doesn't find out he's in a relationship until later, she's still the other woman. Even so, she has the choice to tell his wife or girlfriend and help someone else, rather than be.. uh, that. I'm not excusing the cheater, or the person that they cheat with.

I knew that the "other women" come in many forms. Whomever thinks that they only come looking like whores needs a reality check.

Also, I think that little paragraph you included in italics made me dislike those women even more. I understand what you're saying, I can even go out on a limb and say that I understand how they feel. It's human nature, I've said that in other posts. When you find someone and you develop feelings for them, you're not going to want to let them go. That, however, is selfish. Luckily, being selfish is something humans are extraordinarily good at.

I know very well that these women won't change it. Like you said, they're getting something out of the situation or they wouldn't remain in it. That's not going to make me really care for them, however. I'm far too into honesty to be able to respect women like that very much. I'm always going to think about the wife. The other woman gets an ego high from knowing that this man, married, comes to her for things his "wife can't provide"; meanwhile his wife probably has no idea what's going on. I'll feel sorry for the wife, not the other woman. Some wives do bring it on, because they don't want to change even when their husbands ask them to; but there are many wives in these situations who don't even know anything is wrong.

So, I'm disgusted by the cheater and the other woman both.

Anyway, as for the questions at the end; I do believe that I will never be "the other woman." If he's cheating on his wife, he's a piece of shit. I absolutely will not be romantically involved with a piece of shit. I would also not lower myself to that level, and I do think it would be lowering for me, because I want a guy who can commit to me and only me. Not me and his wife. There are plenty of reasons not to be the other woman.