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Miss Alligator So, my best friend and I were at the mall the other day, smelling different perfumes. She held in front of my nose a perfume that she already owned and wanted me to smell. I crinkled my my nose at the smell, and said that "it was too fruity for me." And then she goes, "Well, [my boyfriend] likes it." I chuckled, and she wanted to know why. I thought about the best way to say this. I couldn't think of a good way to bring this up, so I asked her, "have you ever thought that M might be gay?"
We talked and some tears were shed, and I learned that her boyfriend has mentioned that he's still discovering his sexuality and that so far he thinks he at least a little bit bisexual. I lent her my shoulder to cry on as she told me all about the worries she'd been keeping from me up til this point. I think she's glad to have someone to talk to about this, to reassure her that it will all turn out okay, no matter what.
So, our friendship remains in tact. My honesty, yet again, has done no harm to our friendship. In fact, I think it made it stronger.
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Comments (26)
Thats really great, she is lucky to have a friend like you.
See, honesty is the best option. And you said you were best friends from high school in the previous post, so there would be no reason for her to get mad at you, as she (i am assuming) knows you just want the best for her.Thanks for sharing.Well, honesty is always the best policy.
I'm glad everything turns out well (between the two of you) and I hope the best for her regardless how the road turns out with her boyfriend and her.
Phew. Problem averted! :)
Well thats good :) I hope everything between your friend and her boyfriend works out :D
awesome =)
I don't see how the certain scent of perfume and liking it = homosexuality. My boyfriend doesn't like a certain perfume I wear, but loves another. While the perfume he doesn't like, many other men like, a lot.
Of course, if there are other signals implying his ambiguous sexuality, then that's to be expected.
@haloed@xanga -
I think the reason she chuckled at that was because of the adjective "fruity", which is a common slang term for something "gay".Maybe.because otherwise I don't know why liking a perfume would hint at someone being a homosexual either :)@xtraaaa@xanga - Yeah, that's the only correlation I pull from it. hehe
yay!!! Glad it all worked out :]
@haloed@xanga - there was another whole post on this before how she suspected her friends bf was gay and she was debating telling her. this is to tell us all she has :)
i am so glad it worked out!! telling is the best policy and I'm glad she didn't freak out at all :)
I commend you for being a good friend. Maybe you can work like a private investigator - except you can find out if someone's gay rather than if someone's cheating. Hehe
That's great that you have a great gaydar, but liking fruity perfumes doesn't make guys gay. My boyfriend loves when I smell sweet and fruity because it's sexy to him and I love the smell too.
If he's attracted to her I'm going to assume that he's bi and just acts gay. It's good that it worked out this way for you though.
How disgusting that you are going to begrudge somebody their sexuality because it makes somebody feel bad. You actually consoled her when she cried? How selfish. So many representations of the disgusting natures of our self-involved psyches. If she truly loved him, instead of crying for her own perceived loss, she could lend a hand in helping him discover what's going on with him. That would be love and that would be worth mentioning and writing about. Not this lifeless shock piece.
@crabsncancer@xanga - Just because she cried doesn't mean she begrudges him his sexuality. She's may be losing someone she really cares about and that's not a nice situation to be in, no matter the reason.
She should've been happy that he's a bit of a bisex. Bisex people see and understand things better since they see them from both male's and female's point of view.
great! : ]
holyshit, if my gaydar was off and my boyfriend was displaying possible-gay signals, I'd hope my bestfriends are as honest as you are in talking to me about it.
My friends have difficulty in expressing that they think the guy I'm dating is a douche or an oatmeal (SUPER BLAND AND NOT RIGHT FOR ME) when I'm dating him.... wish they would though, I wouldn't throw things at them or anything, but they never do...they wait until it's over to voice it out... but I HOPE they wouldn't wait when something like this happens! It's awesome that your friendship wasn't harmed in this process! That would suck.........
wow that's great! Is she ok with her boyfriend being bi?
I commented on ur other post and i did state that maybe Her and her boyfriend might have had a talk about it already. Now that u know just wish her the best with her relationship,
Also just because a man likes fruity perfumes doesnt make a man gay so if u thought that was funny because she said that u was wrong for that.
So...the fruity perfume lead to your comment about M being gay? I'm going to hope it was some other events prior to this that lead you to that conclusion....
My sister and her boyfriend are both bi... and they're both fine with it. It depends on what both parties want and can even handle for that matter.
@Femme003@xanga, @lilsexypyrogirl@xanga & @Cest_LaxVie@xanga - The only reason I chuckled at her boyfriend liking fruity perfumes was because fruity is a word often used to describe someone who is gay, NOT because liking fruity perfumes has anything to do with one's sexuality (which it doesn't).
@crabsncancer@xanga - She cried because if it turns out that he is in fact gay & not bisexual or straight, then the romantic love relationship she has/had with him means nothing and will not continue to exist. She definitely still plans on being there for him through his self-discovery, no matter what.
Wow! I'm really happy that that went well for you. I hope she works everything out.