Something has really been bothering me over the past month.
My sister has been hanging out with this guy she knows for about three years. I think she hangs out with this guy more than her BF. She lives with her BF when she goes to college because the college she's attending is, like, four hours away from home. When she got back home with us, she hangs out with the same guy almost every day, if not at least three times a week (
that's a lot to me). She goes out late at night and return home in the morning.
It was so obvious that that guy likes my sister. I should've known a year ago when we hung out together. That guy was so close with my sister when we were bowling - he was leaning towards my sister, putting his hand on her shoulder, smelling and playing with her hair. A week ago, we hung out together at a comedy show; he puts his hand on her bag, her bag was on top of her lap...(
is this what friends really do?) They've traveled together to three places alone or with some of the guy's closest friends. They go to billiards, bowling, clubs, movies, and etc...whatever they can do in the city.
Most of time when my sister goes out with him, she puts on makeup and she would ask me if she looked good wearing this and that.
Whenever I suspect she's hanging out with him again, I get annoyed.
That guy's helped us several times, like when we moved...and yesterday he drove my dad home! He's getting closer and closer. They chat on the phone and MSN a lot. I don't like him. Loving someone you like is not a crime, but he's actually doing something that I think is wrong.
I know I have no control over this whatsoever. It's not my business, but I'm afraid he'll become my sister's BF and eventually my brother-in-law. I don't want this to happen.
Are they dating? Is my sister cheating on her BF ?
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Comments (43)
wow, that's not a pretty situation.
well, your sister seriously needs to be talked to. like sit down face to face. Because if your sister totally has no interest in him she's just leading him on, and that will not end pretty for sure.
I feel sorry for her bf :(
it's a courtship. even if they deny it.
could be an emotional thing, could be physical.
maybe your sister just likes having her male friends attention. you know, makes her feel pretty, boosts her esteem and shit.
i mean its effed up but ... none of that really seems like its your business
I say let your sister be. Her life, and its not up to you as to who eventually becomes your brother-in-law.
Well first of all, HE isn't doing anything wrong because HE isn't the one with the boyfriend. You seem to paint him as the villain in this little scenario. He's the sinner, not your sister. Newsflash honey, your sister is just as guilty as this guy, if not more. It's your sister who has the boyfriend. Put your blame where it belongs - not on him, but on her because SHE is the one who's cheating (from the sounds of it.)
Secondly? There's nothing you can do about it. Your sister is going to do what your sister is going to do. It's her life, not yours. Sure, you can disapprove but you can't stop her from doing it. You can't stop this guy from coming around. You can't stop what might happen between them from happening.
So you have two options: express your feelings to your sister or don't. Either way, you have to get over it because it's none of your business and it's not your life.
it seems your sister's relationship with her 'friend' is questionable at best...i would not go as far as accusing your sister of cheating on her boyfriend...but what she is doing is definitely in the 'grey area' of a relationship. however i don't really think there is much you can do about the situation but to simply wait and see. =/
Gosh this reminds me of Bella, Edward and Jacob. Sorry. I'm currently reading the third Twilight book. It's all I can think about.
But in all seriousness, I had a friend that truly believed she was in love with two people at the same time. She had a long-term boyfriend at home as well as a boyfriend at college. It caused her a TON of heartache and problems. What I'm saying is, it's not outside the realm of possibility that she is dating both at the same time. Girls can be crazy like that. Talk to her about it.
"Are they dating? Is my sister cheating on her BF ?"
uh ever talk to your sister about it? why are you asking us these questions? it can be your business.
It's her life & her choices. Let her make her mistakes and learn. Go talk to her about it if you're bothered.
talk to your sister about what she is doing.
"HAY INTERNETZ I HAVE A PROBLEM"
Solve it yourself. The internet should be your last-ditch effort. Talk to your sister about it, don't ask people who don't know or care about you on the internet.
what does her bf say abt this? anything in particular ? do they get into fights because of this issue?
i was in the same situation, happened a while ago but i didn't do anything about it. talk to her, if it really bothers you then you should take the initiative to confront her about it. so what if she will get angry, you're family, she'll get over the confrontation if she is mature enough.
don't blame it on the guy, blame everything on your sister. if the guy is really out to maker her his, i suggest you blame your sister even more for being a sucker or giving him signals.
Is this guy gay? Might explain it.
Do I sense anger, bitterness, envious, jealously, and/or resentment from you? Sounds like it.
Why don't you like the dude? Why don't you want him to be your sister's (future) bf or brother-in-law to you?
I don't think the problem is him. I think the problem is your sister.
Sit down and talk with her. That's the least you can do rather than just watch and say nothing.
hmm...does your sister's bf knows about your sister's close guy friend? if I were the bf I certainly won't be too happy about it...
You just need to talk to your sister about this. Ask her who her boyfriend is. Who does she like better? If she does like her boyfriend more- and her boyfriend doesn't care who she hangs out with... then you really can't do anything.
If she likes the other guy- um... she should break up with her boyfriend. That's the same as cheating, because her boyfriend trusts her not to cheat on him when they hang out.
sounds like you're being kinda judgemental and selfish...
how about talking to your sister about it and hearing how she feels?
forget about how you feel about the guy and what you think is wrong or right.
get her side of the story before you jump to conclusions.
don't mean to be rude but like you said, it's not any of your business
The only person whom you can talk with is your sister. The 3rd wheel isn't the guilty one unless he already knows she has a bf. But she chose to do this to her bf and to this 3rd wheeler, it's really on her and she knows what's she's doing...even if it's wrong...you can bring it up...might give her the guilt trip....
He isn't doing anything wrong. Your sister is.
This might be an obvious answered question, but I just thought I would throw it out there anyway just in case: are you sure he's not gay and just a friend? The way you describe them sounds like the way my best friend (my gay guy friend) and I interact. People constantly think we're a couple because we're very intimate. Like I said, it could be a stupid question for me to bring up because you could know for a fact that he's straight, but I couldn't help but think it when reading all you said about them.
I think you should let your sister make her own mistakes though. If you tell her you think it's wrong, she may get mad and tell you it's none of your business anyway. It's good you're looking out for her, but she will realize everything in time.
I mean this in the nicest way possible: Get over it.
The end.
Even though your sister's life is none of your business, it's still wrong if you see things going on that her bf doesn't know about...and you don't say anything about it. I mean if my bf was being suspiciously close to another girl behind my back, I would hope someone would give me the heads up about it. You have the right to speak your mind anyway, so just ask her what's the deal? If she's feeling something for another guy, she should just break up with her bf. No loving and loyal person deserves to be cheated on.
hmm, this is "grey area" territory, but i wouldn't jump to the conclusion about her cheating. talk to her about it, but the future brother-in-law stuff is unnecessary extrapolating.