I've read so many posts about girls who want to (or already do) read their guys' texts, emails, missed calls, etc., and I can't understand it at all. Can you girls explain it to me?
I see no need whatsoever to read my boyfriend's stuff. I don't think it's any of my business, and frankly, I don't care who he calls or emails - I'm not a babysitter or a parole officer; I'm a girlfriend. I guess my position is that until I have a reason not to trust him, I will trust him. We've been dating almost nine months now and he has never given me a reason not to believe what he says.
Do you think that most people who do go through their SOs' texts and emails do it because they're curious or because they think they have a reason to believe there's something fishy going on? Also, so I know I'm not a total freak, is there anyone else who doesn't snoop or want to know what your SO does when you're not around?
Last, guys, do you ever snoop or want to? I only hear these stories coming from girls and I don't know if this is a gender-based issue.
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Comments (83)
haha. My friend's wife, obviously.
I randomly got an IM from his email saying that "[his name] isn't here right now, it's his wife"... before I even tried to say anything.
It was weird.
Meh, I'm in the same boat as you. Unless there's a reason not to trust him, I'm going to trust him. If I don't trust him, I'm going to ask him about things; not go behind his back and look at his emails.
My ex-boyfriend went through my stuff sometimes, but it wasn't a regular thing...I honestly never figured out why he did though
My girlfriend goes through my shit all the time(email, texts, myspace) it is not that she is jealous( the exact opposite in fact) it is what it is, she checks it for me even when I am not home. It is not a big deal. We are close enough to share with each other, I think the people who dislike their SO reading emails or texts have something to hide, or are not very comfortable with their SO.
Curiosity does not mean extreme jealousy, I think when the people don't allow it and claim it to be an invasion of privacy or whatever, that is when the curious party in question probably becomes jealous.
hmm... I don't know if it's gender-based
but I don't feel the need to go spy on my boyfriend 
but he lets me go on his facebook lol. I'm SO tempted to change his status to something silly :D (but that that has nothing to do with anything)
I don't go through his stuff; however, I believe I do have a say in the girls to whom he talks/texts. In example, if he lies about talking to a specific girl and deletes all her messages before I can read them, I have full right to be upset :P
But really, unless one has reason to be suspicious, its flat out a violation of privacy and trust.
M
depends. i dont mind if my bf wanna read my emails or texts or checks who's been calling me. i have nothing to hide, so i dont mind at all.i check my bf's phone sometimes if i feel like it. its not that i dont trust him, i just wanna see what he has in his phone.maybe other couples would get irritated by that but my bf and I dont have any issue with this at all.it all depends to individuals.
I care.
Girls and guys who check their SO's emails/texts/private messages have trust issues in the relationship.Â
i care and i dont know why hahaha
i just always wonder how people see him and how he acts towards other people so i can compare.
its not a healthy thing. -_-
I dont trust my boyfriend for a reason i dont even know.
I dont think he has an email or even checks it, i dont have his password to his myspace. but Im always wondering if he hangs out with a girl or if he talks to them online or on his phone. I know im a bit crazy, but i dont know why because he's never cheated. I was the one who almost did. he almost did twice, but ya.
=\ eh i feel horrible/ i dont think im relationship material.
I will say the onus isn't completely upon the guy in the SO (I know, I'm generalizing). Sometimes the other person needs some reassurance, and this is normal. It's ok to tell your SO that you need some reassurance. It's a lot healthier than going through his material.
Usually, and I'm not saying that this is all the time, when girls or guys want to keep tabs on who their SO texts or e-mails or has contact with, it's because they're insecure and have trust issues and want to make sure their SO is being faithful to them. I personally do not care who my fiance texts or e-mails or whatever because I know he is faithful to me. He had damn well better be after all the things he's spouted about his sense of morals and conscience and what not, otherwise he's nothing short of fake.
i believe snooping comes with a reason, partly, its about trust issues.. but again, a girl don't need to snoop around if a guy is being honest and unless he has something to hide. vice verse. if they have nth to hide, i don;t see problem letting each other show their personal stuffs.
Wishhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh I'd say
I'm not a curious cat.
Naw. I don't ever check anything my husband of 2 years does. If we're riding in the car and I get bored and wanna look at his phone, I ask him first. Yes..I ask my husband. It's a respect of privacy thing. We're married and share everything, but I know everyone needs a little space. Even though I know he'd never say "NO DON'T READ MY STUFF", I think it makes him feel better if he verbally allows me to read whatever I want to read. I know that it makes me feel better if he asks me.
And I still don't answer his phone.
No. My girlfriend's business is her business and I trust her 110%.
I keep my passwords to Facebook, Xanga, and my email account to myself, but that's not because I have anything to hide. I can get very stubborn about things that I perceive to be MINE and I can be territorial, so I pretty much keep my business to myself because it's MY business, not OUR business.
I'm not one of those people who believes everything should be shared in a relationship, primarily because I like my personal space. A lot.
My passwords are all known. Got nothing to hide. Makes your relationship healthier. And I don't check his phone, if I do, it's honestly because I'm curious, not insecure. If I find a girl in his phone, I always know who it is anyway. And when a girl likes my boyfriend, IM flattered.
my boyfriend goes through my phone all the time. i rarely go through his, just because i don't care. i don't see a reason to. i think it's more curiosity on his part though. *shrug*
WHO CARES? I DO!
definitely the curiosity factor. it's why facebook was invented and is so popular. we all want to stalk everyone we care about.
If my husband fone rings and im near it i will pick up his fone and look at who is calling and tell him as im handing him his fone he does the same thing as well. Im not going to lie in the begining of our relationship i use to be all up in his buisness because i didnt trust him but as we gotten older that all stopped because now i trust my husband. Like if he is playing a game on my fone (which he does alot) and a text comes thru he sometimes doesnt bother with it or he will take a look at who text me and tell me.... other then that he dont go thru my stuff. even if i went thru his fone he wouldnt care and if he went thru mines i wouldnt care because we dont hide nothing from each other. =)
I've never snooped through my boyfriend's stuff, because he willingly gives me his passwords, lets me see his emails and so on. He doesn't need to get anything from anyone else, because I give him everything he needs/wants. Also he is so honest, that if he didn't want to be with me he would just leave. He wouldn't cheat because cheating is stupid.
Some people say that the only reason people would object to sharing their stuff is if they're hiding something.
If I had an SO, I don't have anything to hide but I would really appreciate having the privacy anyway. SO has no right to read through my texts and e-mails unless he asks, has a good reason to doing so, and I give him the OK. And I wouldn't look through his stuff either.
As for whether I care who my SO would be texting or e-mailing, I DO care, as he shouldn't be saying certain things to other girls. But I'm not going stoop so low to snooping around through his stuff.
I do care and can get curious... But i don't go through his phone and emails.... likewise he doesn't go through mine so its a balance really.