Miss Rhino
Meeting the parents is an age-old tradition that is gut-wrenching and exhilarating at the same time. It means your SO is into you, this much you know for sure; otherwise he wouldn't be taking the time to introduce you to his family. It also means that you've got to make a good - no, great - impression if you have any hope of the relationship lasting. Many times it happens over a meal of food; the ceremonial Last Supper, if you will. Plenty of time to prepare - pick out the perfect outfit, come up with clever conversation-starters, the works. But what happens when meeting the parents comes at a less convenient time? Say with less clothes involved...
Imagine a guy-meets-girl scenario. The standard course of events follows. They're your average just-out-of-college couple, still living at home with the parents. Things are going swimmingly! Time to take it to the next level. Girl spends the night with her guy at his parents' house. They still have yet to be introduced (foreshadowing much?). A night of passion ensues. Again, things are going swimmingly! Flash-forward to the next morning. Girl and guy are laying in bed, serenely, blissfully, until WHAM! Door swings open and there she is. The Mother. She's screaming.
WHY AREN'T YOU UP YET! YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BE VOLUNTEERING AT THE SHELTER TODAY! YOU ARE AN HOUR LATE!
Mom, calm down. I'm tired.
OH, YOU'RE TIRED ARE YOU? YOU KNOW WHO ELSE IS TIRED? YOUR AUNT BARBARA! YOU TWO KEPT HER UP ALL NIGHT LONG! GET UP NOW!
Door slams. Shocked silence. That did not go well. She may have ignored your presence, but she knew you were there. Aunt Barbara made sure of that. Girl quietly sneaks out of the house and retreats to her own home. What happens from here? How can she ever go back? Will she ever be able to make amends? Ben Stiller had it much easier.
This harrowing tale happened to my friend this weekend. And unfortunately, this kind of scenario occurs more often than we'd like it to. (I will spare you the grizzly details of my own "Meet the Parents" story which ends with "So are you ever going to introduce us to the girl you're dating? Next time we go away, try not to leave the condom in our bed.") What do you do when your first impression on the parents is less than stellar? Is there any coming back from that? And what does it mean for the future of your relationship?
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Comments (35)
relax, its just sex. i do it, what, 10 times a day.
I wouldn't have spent the night without meeting the parents first. That's just tacky.
Yeah... sex in the parent's house w/o meeting them first... not a great idea. But until you shared that this had actually *happened* - I thought it was made up for illustrative purposes! Wow...
Sounded pretty much like a series of crappy moves on everyone's part. Been through a couple of extremely awkward moments but I think that this COULD take the cake as being the most messed up thing I've ever heard about.
Yeah, your friend probably should not have had sex there...maybe even at all, at least on the first night, out of respect. I hate to say, but she had it coming.
Hopefully it can just be a funny story told at their marriage reception, but I figure there's no dwelling on it. Your friend should just really try to make it up to Aunt Barbara by being especially nice to her, and maybe even apologize. I mean, they're all adults, so it's not like they didn't at least assume they were having sex.
Haha, I'm sooooo glad I had a normal, "Mom, this is girlfriend. Girlfriend, this is mom," experience.
I would meet the parents first
I met his parents at a soccer game, and he's only met my dad... at the airport... and hearing from my dad- he was VERY nervous.
"So are you ever going to introduce us to the girl you're dating? Next
time we go away, try not to leave the condom in our bed." Must have made for an interesting conversation. :3
what... who still lives at home after graduating... hmm.
This is incredibly common. Similar but not quite awkward situations have happened with me with girl meeting mom in a bathrobe downstairs in the kitchen.
I try to engage in coital activities after the introduction now.
I hate my parants ....
I already met the guy I like's entire family except for maybe his dad when I was hanging out at his house one day. We are friends right now though he doesn't even know I like him.
I think it's better to meet the parents when you guys are first friends so you don't have that situation to begin with.
@sheflourishes@xanga - Tacky? I dont think so. This happened to me, it was late and i was at the guy who i was dating house, and in the middle of the best sex of my life his mother walks in... did i mention we were in her bed? haha She leaves quietly and we put back on our clothes. I then meet his mother and spent the night as his house and had dinner there. It worked out fine and now whenever i see his mother we talk casually and she is so kind to me, i really love his mom. I sleep over there often and his mom is always so giving and kind i want to bake her a cake <3 This situation worked out for the better!
Yea I agree with some of the comments, meet the parents before you do the deeds at THEIR home. Anyway, ask the partner to bring you home for a family dinner and then they can meet you outside of the bedroom.
If it's that big of a deal: if the mother did not see the girls face, then the son should act like their relationship is over, wait a week or more, then introduce the 'new' girlfriend, as pure as new white snow, and voila, crisis averted.
:< Scary!
Well I met my boyfriend's dad before I stayed over, but his mom...I didn't until after the first night I was there (she was on a trip!) It was a little awkward, partly because the boy was not awake when I came downstairs in the morning and found a lady staring curiously at me. But oh well, they LOVE me now. They yelled at my boyfriend when we broke up, and then wrote me and told me that I was always welcome to go visit (and stay with them :p), when we finally got back together, the first time they saw me both of them bypassed my bf to give me huge hugs!
@mindyeat
having sex in her bed? now that's tacky.
Its just good manners to meet the house owners before you bump uglies in it, non?
Some parents may forgive, while others will not. It really depends. Maybe you can joke about it ...? haha o_O
Another good reason to wait until you're married to have sex.
i wouldn't be having sex in the house if there were parents, extended family, whatever within a room distance. i couldn't even think to be in bed with him or even sleeping next to him when his family is in the house. my nerves wouldn't allow it and i know i'm 'loud.' >.< that's just bad manners ESPECIALLY if you haven't met the parents yet!!! O_o
so you could imagine what i'd say if the situation extended beyond having sex with family in the house but having sex in parents' bed when they're away....WHY AREN"T YOU DOING THAT SHIT IN YOUR OWN?!! i mean, that's wrong dude... ugh... now they're going to have to burn their bed.... that's just rude. no respect for the parents....seriously.... >.<
relationship with bf's/gf's family (esp. parents) is doomed. it's going to be hard to erase such a memory for a parent.... i can't believe things like this happen in real life!! +_+
i guess just meet them anyway... maybe they'll eventually let it go?
Having sex in the parent's house whether or not you've already met them sounds kind of rude and disrespectful. That's just my opinion. I wouldn't even sleep over at my SO's house without having met the parents first.
First, LMAO. Sorry, just tell your friend she's lucky his aunt didn't start banging on the bathroom door while they were in the middle of what they were doing. That's what happened to me and I was mortified. First time I ever do something remotely sexual and I get caught. I met his mom a few days after, she was drunk and could only manage to say "did you enjoy the shower?" I wanted to run and DIE!!! Its been almost two years since that night and his family loves me, especially that same aunt that caught us. The future of your relationship depends solely on you. My boyfriend loves me and he was proud to introduce me to his family even after that incident. I didn't think I would ever be able to go back to his house ever again and now I'm there almost every day. Embarrassing incidents happen to everyone, what you decide to do after it happens is your choice. We knew we were wrong when we got caught, but that wasn't going to stop us from being together and letting other people know we were together.