Monday, 15 June 2009

• Are Toe Fetishes Bad?

  There are very few events in this world that are truly predictable 100% of the time.  Sure death is a sure thing but good luck guessing when.  Taxes?  Psh, completely unpredictable especially when your brother-in-law steals your SSN and opens up 16 credit cards in your name.  That leaves us with one predictable thing: successful love. 
  
  What?  Love?  Predictable?  How?
  
  Well, okay.  I twisted the facts a bit.  I'll admit that love is pretty weird and crazy and indefinable and by all means not a static entity.  However, as unpredictable as love tends to be, if you were to ask anybody on the street the secret to a successful and long-lasting relationship, the most common and predictable answer will consist of one word:
  

  Communication.
  

  Makes sense right?  Besides therapy, sex, money, and time, Communication is the solution to everything.  If a relationship didn't end because of incompatible personalities, it's usually because of inadequate communication.  Easy concept right?
  

  
  

  Well, during my time browsing-and-not-writing on Xanga, I stumbled upon an interesting article on Datingish entitled, Toes Do Not Belong In Someone's Mouth.  In summary, the author (the girlfriend, GF) in this case was weirded out when her boyfriend (BF) started to suck on her toes mid-foot massage.  Seeking advice from the masses, the author ended the narrative with a simple question:
  

  "What would you do if your [significant other] started sucking on your toes?"
  

  The responses were quite predictable and mainly consisted of readers expressing their disgust.  There were even a few individuals that expressed their sympathies for the author for being placed in that awkward situation. 

  But let’s keep our heads on straight here people!  If anything, the awkwardness created from this moment of toe-sucking isn't because of a genetic defect in the BF but there was clearly a lack of communication between these two individuals. 
  

  Okay, let's put it this way.

  Sex.  A complicated topic and a messy deed.  For many people, sex is also a sensitive subject in a relationship especially for green couples.  Anyway, many of us possess enough logic and sensibility to realize that in order to get sex the way we want it (a lot of it/none of it/oral only), the best way to go about things is to be open with your partner with your wants.  Only when your intentions are known can you two work things out.

  Communication. 
  

  Likewise, toe sucking, though not exactly the same as sex, still follows this rule.  If you don't communicate, then all you do is setting up your partner for very unexpected surprises (the bad kind).  It obviously occurred here.  The author and her BF obviously never communicated about his affection for toes so being shocked and surprised is allowed. 
  

  However, the next step in the relationship, and in any relationship where a surprise occurs isn't to "eww" the partner.  Going "eww" to your partner's fetish is just like saying "eww" to your mother's Thanksgiving roast.  That's just mean and degrading and obviously a sign of inflexibility. 
  

  And it hurts.
  

  Okay, I might have a bit harsh.  But honestly, saying eww isn't productive at all.  At the very least, it's a detriment to the relationship because now the BF feels like an outcast or, in this case, a circus freak.  And last time I checked, making your SO feel like a freak isn't nice.  Seriously, how would you feel if the person you loved expressed disgust at what you did?  Yeah, not pleasant at all. 
  

  And such unpleasantness does only one thing: it shuts him up even further.  Less communication.  Bad relationship.  There we go.

  So people, the bottom line, if you haven't gotten it already, is to communicate.  For the lucky few in this world, some couples share the exact same wants.  However, for the rest of us, we all hold different views of what we desire in a relationship.  Some of us want only tongue action.  Some of us don't even want to hold hands.  Some of us just want the tax benefits of marriage.  But in the end, no matter what floats our boats, be it toe sucking or simply public-display-of-affection-ing, what we want has absolutely no value if these desires are not expressed and made known to your partner. 
  

  As the saying goes, "If an idea isn't expressed, then it doesn't exist." Simple as that.
  

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