So about a month and a half ago, my boyfriend told me he loves me. This is a pretty big deal for me because I haven't had the greatest luck with relationships in the past, and because just around the same time I realized I was in love with him and it was such a relief to hear those three words unprovoked from him. Just for some context, this is the first person I've ever heard those words from and the first person I've ever said it to. Now, having been together for over three months officially at this point, I am starting to wonder, how often do you say I love you?
We usually say it at least a couple times , most importantly for me is when we go to sleep at night. It just lights up my heart when he wraps his arms around me and tells me he loves me and he hopes I sleep well. Although I'm not necessarily worried about saying it too often, I don't want to seem insecure either but saying it too much as if I need constant reassurance that yes, he still loves me.
So I admit I'm curious if it changes over time and people in longer relationships feel the need to reaffirm their love less often. Therefore my question is,
how long have you and your SO been together, and how often do you say "I love you"?
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Comments (95)
My boyfriend & I say it probably 3-5+ times a day, whenever we feel like it. We say it when we feel it's right, or when we're feeling especially lovey-dovey, not because one of us needs to hear that the other person loves them, too.
I think we've always just said it whenever we've felt it the most. It's been almost 9 months, & I don't really see any trend or pattern in the I love you's, really. We say it when we feel it :)
well my ex and I were together for 3 years and in that amount of time the "i love yous" never really got old, even when we broke up (and he got a new gf) he kept telling me he loves me...even when he was sneaking around with another girl he told me he loves me....
anyways.. when you two are truly in love you don't have to reassure you love him or he loves you.. you say it because its nice to hear...
Honestly I think that differs between each person and even each relationship. I've said it often in one relationship, and sparingly in others, depending on the person I'm with. I don't think it really matters how often you say it, but rather how strongly and truthfully you feel it. You don't have to say "I love you" for your SO to know, but sometimes it is very comforting hearing those words. Find the frequency you and your SO feel is most agreeable and stick to it. :þ
That and best of luck with your newest, best relationship yet!
my ex and i were together for about 2 years and into one year, i finally said "i love you" to him. he responded to me quickly after i said it. we used to say it all the time, in the beginning and the ending of a conversation, the ending of a text.
enjoy your relationship with this guy. it sounds special ;p
My girlfriend and I have been together for two months and exchange those words a few times a day. Neither of us say it because we feel the other person needs to hear it; we say it because we really love each other, especially in that moment that we're saying it.
It's really different couple-to-couple, though, and you shouldn't need us to affirm you.
4 years. nearly everyday. :)
The ay I approach this is strange because it's normally hard for me to tell someone I love them, just in general. Saying that word is something very emotional for me and it means a lot and I can't throw it around often because of that. In my last serious relationship instead of saying "I love you", i would say "loves" or "cares". I thought it was cute and we'd both do it back and forth to each other and it wasn't overkill. There's different ways or saying and showing you love someone
I don't think it really matters how often couples say it. Like people are already saying, I say it whenever I feel it or whenever he says it. I'd think though that something might be lacking if a couple says it only...mm once a week or less? Unless they're married.
NEEEEVAAAAAAA!!!!!!
whaaatcanniisayyy?
i say it all the time to my doggie. haha sometimes i don't think I say it enough to my mom but she always said actions speak louder than words. and yet she does have a point. at least in my case. haha I love saying i love you. I think I love you can be expressed in many different forms. Such as say i love you to a friend, family, relationships and pets. Or even as a thank you. As long as it's coming from your heart is all that matters.
Numerous times a day.
my bf & i say it alot to each other; practically a few times a day.
but we say it everytime it feels right..
not just because we can.
ahh, i fucking love this kid ♥
lol. well my ex and i dated for nearly 3 years and we go to the i love you stage no less than 4 months. we didn't say i love you everyday but it was a ritual of ours to say it before the other went to sleep. sometimes she would just wake up in the middle of the night and say it. i sometimes would just say it cuz i felt it was the least i could do at the moment. we really did (and still do) love each other. it got to the point where saying i love you wasn't enough. but our i love you's also let us know what mood the other was in. like when we would fight, most of the time we would go to bed with out saying it and it let the other one know that something was up with us. other times, when our fights would be sooo bad and it would hit an emotional point, she would break down crying and all she could say was i love you. so it would fix things to. but i don't know how many times we said it a day. we were one of those couples that goes "i love you", "no i love you more", "no, you can't love me nearly as much as i love you"...you get the idea. lol. but i know everytime we meant it. but i would say on average, we would say it about 5-8 times a day.
Whenever it feels right. But we also say it before we hang up on the phone :/ It's gotten to be a routine, which isn't what I want.
i dont tend to say it often as when i say often...i mean..... quite rare. those three words should only come out when u really mean it.
personally, i wouldnt say it too often coz otherwise it 'erod' the meaning of it.
My fiance and I have been together for three years and we say it constantly. It's a reminder that no matter what's happening, we still have each other. It's a good feeling.
Some days, 10 times a day...10 times in an hour...Other days, not at all. For me, using "i love you", doesn't come out just as the simple meaning of love. I say it when I am so overwhelmed with happiness that I am bursting at the seams to let him know. When we say it, it means "I am so happy right now", or "this is heaven"
I won't tell a girl I love her til I'm willing to marry her. I've said "i love you" to past girlfriends, and now I never talk to them. Did I really love them? I believe that love is a choice that we make forever, to put another person's needs ahead of our own, not simply a feeling that comes and goes. It can create a little tension now, but the girl I finally say it to will know it means a lot more than simply a fleeting feeling I might have at the moment.
Lots of guys have said it to me but I've never said it to anyone. I thought I loved one boy, but I never said anything. That ended ugly though, so I'm kind of glad I kept it to myself back then.
I really agree with how Holden in "Catcher and the Rye" describes how it feels to say "I love you" so easily. He said he feels like he loves her at that moment, but that's prone to change in the next moment. And if it's fleeting like that, I don't think it's really love, but who determines that?
I will be loving you ....
like a bajillion times a day
@stephyju2517@xanga - I never understand your comments. I just thought I'd throw that out there.
I've been together with my bf for 4 years and we say it everytime before we hang up our calls, and before going to sleep.
@a_single_raindrop@xanga - Whoa. You just stole the thoughts out of my brain. Creeper.
Yeahhh. I used to say it before hanging up on the phone with my ex, but I never liked it that way.
Say it whenever necessary or risk it losing significance due to desensitization from overuse.