It doesn't sound emotionally abusive but he sounds controlling. I say take a break from him and do some soul searching. Find out who you are without him before deciding on whether or not to get back together. And when/if you do get back together make it clear that you are who you are and that unless it's hurtful he has no right to tell you how to run your life. Find out what you would consider the boundaries of what are acceptable comments for him to make and when he crosses your lines you let him know. No if and or buts, either he respects you and your boundaries or he can continue being a controlling ass on his own.

btw, and this is totally off topic: I love your default pic. And I love that Helga is there. lol

I'd call that controlling. and him making you pay for half when HE wants to go out sounds a bit ridiculous. I don't think it's a very healthy relationship.

Yes he is being abusive. And hes trying to be sly as he does it. No, this is not how most loving relationships are, this is how most abusive relationships are.

He should understand your current financial situation and he should want to work with it. As a guy who never expects to be paid back for anything I buy the girl I'm with, I may be a bit biased, but if he genuinely cares about you, he should take the initiative for the "couple" activities he so desires. I'm not claiming he should break the bank every time you two go out, but he also shouldn't put the money above the relationship.

Don't waste too much time with a guy who only makes you cry, even if he is there for you some of the time. When the bad outweighs the good, it's time to go.

This is your life, don't waste it.

"I had to get a job and move out into an apartment. It's been expensive, and I usually only have $50 a month to spend on food and fun. I manage ... I don't have a car, I was raised in trailer parks until I was 15, and my dad barely makes five figures ... I have two Autistic brothers. I always thought I was doing pretty well considering, managing to make enough to pay $450 in rent every month."

You are doing well.  It takes incredibly hard work to get to where you are right now from what many consider poverty.  If he can't see that and respect that, you should let him go.  And that's only what I have to say based on half of what you addressed here.

All of this:  "he blows up at me and lectures me or rants for sometimes up to an hour about things I make pay for and how much I rely on him. When we get into arguments, they usually end with me apologizing profusely and him needing space. ... He says I'm clingy and needy ... He tells me things I should do with my hair, he is often trying to convince me to buy clothes from stores like Urban Outfitters or H&M. He buys clothes from there monthly. He makes fun of the hair on my thighs and he tells me I should exercise more. He complains about how cluttered my room is and he jokingly calls me a slob"is all emotionally abusive.  All of it. 

I'm having the same discussion with my girlfriend right now.  I love her for who she is and can't imagine that she should have to change for anyone, but her mother is constantly telling her she is ugly simply because her style isn't the kind her mother would prefer that she wear.  Her ex-boyfriend did the same thing.  He tried to change her, subtly, but in nearly every way.  That's not love.  That's not even appreciation, and certainly not adoration.  In fact, I don't think that's even kind.  He is concerned about his image, and his image only. (This confirms it: "Anytime I cry when we're about to go somewhere public, he tells me to stop because people will see me.") He's trying to change you so that he looks better.  Yes, that's abuse.  Get someone who is confident in themselves enough to appreciate you for you and leave this dirt bag in the dirt.

This is not how relationships are.  From the sounds of this post, you are too good for him.  However (and I hate having a however in this post because I want to see you get out of this), all signs point to you staying in this relationship because without him, you would not be able to afford your life.  ("My family can't really afford to take me in with them, and when I'm in a tight place he usually bails me out.")  You need to figure out what to do.  Don't stay with this abusive, manipulative jerk of a boyfriend who cares more about himself than he does about you just because he enables you to afford living on your own.  Your emotional health is far more important than your complete independence, imo.

Wow. that's pretty intense.. I am a crier too. haha I think i'm too emotional... but my boyfriend doesn't make fun of me just because I can't pay for a lot of things (sadly I'm kind of not rich) and is right beside me- to help and encourage me. I mean, if we fight, its like about something else- not money or whatever. Maybe you should talk to your boyfriend about this.

He's emotionally abusing you. He is controlling you by keeping you insecure about yourself. You should be with someone who makes you feel beautiful and valued. Also, if a man knows your financial situation and is penny-pinching, he doesn't want to share his money let alone his life with you.  I say cut all loses and move on.

Yeah. He's definitely not treating you right. Whether he's aware of what he's doing or not, it's clear that he's selfish and inconsiderate. Part of being mature includes understanding other people's situations and understanding that not everything can go your way all the time.

So give him the boot. You deserve better.

@Lordv16@xanga - I think I was a bit bitchy, but I tried to get the point across :)

You deserve better.

This is a saying my grandma once told me:
a guy who is worth your tears will never make you cry

If he really cares for you the way that he says then he should be expecting you to be paying half of everything every time, because he knows how you are trying to support yourself and you hardly make enough. He sounds really controlling and it doesn't seem like abuse much to me...but it will get there one day if you stay with him. His "joking" will start becoming more and more serious.

I don't think you have a very healthy relationship and I would say move on from him, find someone who will treat you like the princess you are. It is hard especially when you love someone, I know, but sometimes the hardest things are the best things.

So if you do decide to end things with him (because he is not treating you the way you are suppose to be treated) then you can let him pull you back in. It will be hard, but maybe when he knows you're serious it might open his eyes.

@xXsammiedollXx@xanga - Agreed. This "joking" will get worse and then he'll start to feel as if he "owns" you, and you don't want that for you.

@lovemonkeyy@xanga - "The second you move your pathetic ass out
of your mama and daddy's house and start paying for your OWN shit, is
when you can start bitching about MY life."

I love that line, because it is so extremely true!

that is not how most relationships are. if i were you, i would leave. just get out before it gets any worse. before you know it, it could become physical. it's going to be hard to get on your feet and become financially stable, but consider staying with extended family if you have to or if you can, or a close friend, just for awhile until you're on your feet again. don't stay with him because you feel like you have nowhere else to go, especially if he treats you like that.