Sunday, 14 June 2009

• My Top 5 Dating Rules

  Everyone has their own set of "rules," or lack thereof, when it comes to dating. These are my Top Five Rules, a list from someone who's already married and whose rules worked out. Enjoy!

  1. The Ex Factor
  There is no "Friends With Exes" here. Not me, not my SO. Sorry, once a breakup has occurred, all contact with said person is discontinued. I warned any potential boyfriends of this before we got into a relationship, just to be clear. This means no calls, no texts, no e-mails, not even any Facebook comments. In fact, delete them from your friends list AND your phone. Don't talk to them in person, either. Don't hold on to any "memories" of your relationship. It's over, get over it.

  2. The Porn Factor
  I don't care what you do when you're single, but when you're in a relationship - at least if it is with me - pornography should be left alone. Sorry, but I'd rather be single and alone than in a relationship with someone I clearly don't satisfy. I never said I wouldn't put US on tape if you are so worried about needing to get off, but if it's not me on that tape, I don't think you should be watching it.

  3. The Phone Factor
  "I don't call boys, boys call me." <-- A quote I was known for saying when I was on the market. I don't call the guy in the beginning of the relationship.  It's pretty simple. If he wants to hang out with me or talk to me, he can call me. If not, fine. I'm not waiting by the phone. I will keep this up for at least 6 months of a relationship. After that, I will only call when it is important. I know this rule will probably stir some stuff about about it not being the 1800s or something, but I'd rather be the girl that doesn't call boys than the girl that calls boys too much.

  4. The "I Love You" Factor
  In all good relationships, this is bound to come up. If you think you love someone, what are you supposed to do? Say it? Not say it? Wait for them to say it?... Well, you can do whatever you want, but I'm playing the waiting game, here. This is kind of related to "The Phone Factor." I'm not just gonna come out and spill my guts for a guy if I don't know where he stands. At least not on this issue. Again, I think it's better to be the girl that doesn't say "I love you" first than the girl that says it and is sorry because he doesn't reciprocate and makes things awkward. You can also do what I did and not say it back if he says it to you for a couple of days. This depends on HOW he said it the first time. If he was kind of shy about it and said it accidentally or said it in the heat of the moment, waiting for him to say it again instead of saying it back and putting pressure on the situation is a good way to see if he meant it or is sorry he said it. If he really was spilling his heart to you, a test like this is being a heartless maneater. Use at your own risk.

  5. The Other Plans Factor
  You shouldn't be available EVERY SINGLE TIME they call or want to get together. Have your own life and live it. Don't put everything you are into this relationship with the other person. It is much healthier to have your own self - your own goals and dreams that you are following and not giving up because of your relationship - and lose a relationship than to give up your life to have an "our life" situation. Your lives will one day become "our life together" if it's meant to be, and if not, there's no use crying over spilled milk.

  What do you think? Do you have your own rules, or do you fly by the seat of your pants? Hate these rules? Love them? Don't care?....

  Oh, and always remember this: When it doesn't work out, know that there are other fish in the sea. Bigger, tastier, prettier fish. Fish that know how big, tasty, and pretty you are, too!

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