Saturday, 13 June 2009
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Should I Dump The Jerk for A Nicer Guy?
A little background: I've been dating a guy for 5 1/2 years, and I've always been faithful. Our relationship has been very rocky, especially the last two years. We still stick together, even though everyone hates him and tells me I deserve better. He can be a jerk at times and we have broken up before because of it. However, I always end up back in his arms in the end.A few months ago, another guy started coming around where I work. My coworkers continue to insist that I dump my current guy for this one, because he is nicer and will treat me like a princess. Although the thought has crossed my mind, I don't really think this other guy likes me like they think he does. My coworkers insist that this guy is flirting with me and that we have a mutual attraction for one another. But I'm afraid of getting hurt, so I keep insisting that he doesn't really like me. ..even though secretly, I hope he does.
This guy, "Mr. Handsome", usually chats with me while I'm working. I guess you could say we've become friends over the past few months. I've only hung out with him once outside of work, and it was actually a group of us that went out. My question is, do I dump the guy that can be a jerk for a nicer guy, despite our long relationship? And how do I know if Mr. Handsome even likes me?
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- From: wildchild6484@xanga
Stats: This Week All Time Posts: 0 1 Views: 0 1604 Comments: 0 58 View all posts by wildchild6484@xanga
Comments (58)
Tell your current boyfriend to fight Handsome (while having clothspins attatched to their nipples) and whoever hits the dirt first loses you.
I think you should do what you think is right. I ended up dumping my jerk of 3 1/2 years and went for a nicer guy. Sometimes life is taking a risk. Honestly though, your the only one who can answer that question. Don't let the crowd tell you what to do and listen to what you want. Are you really happy with your current bf? Do you really truly love him? What of Mr. Handsome. Do you really like him? There is a person out there for you and find what YOU want. This is all your choice but listen to what you want. I hope I was some help...
Kat
In my opinion, if you have to ask, you're not actually ready to leave. If you aren't prepared to face the world alone, you'll just keep facing the world alone...but with a prick at your side. Nothing hurts you when you're soul is self-contained. If you're just as open to the good as you are to the bad, you will love deeper and survive easier (a bit of Eastern philosophy there).
Nevertheless, that last lesson is one I still can't seem to learn myself. So good luck!
I'd leave him. Do you really want to live your life unhappy with a jerk like that? I didn't.
My advice is to not jump from guy to guy. I would leave your boyfriend, and then spend some time alone. If after this you feel like dating nice guy, go for it.
Even if you don't end up with the nicer guy, isn't that better than being with a jerk?
If you're already thinking about it, DUH, there's a problem. Some people stay in relationships their whole lives with people, not because they really love who their with, but they love the actual relationship / just can't let go of the relationship. Don't let this happen to you pleaaaaseee. If you think this guy could be the one for you, drop the jerk fast, and make yourself happy.
[though i know actually doing it is hard, you will be sooo much happier in the end. trust me.]
Good luck <3!
Not enough information to make an informed decision.
I'm sorry I thought there was a question in this
it's your life I would highly recommend looking at the way you describe your current boyfriend, not exactly glowing. strike oneand if you are attracted to the other guy, that's strike two for the current relationship (regardless of how the nice guy feels about you)and if the Current is treating you poorly that means one of two things:one, he too is unhappy in the relationship or two, he is a schmuck. Either way strike threethe Current is out. Whether or not the new guy is up, that is entirely up to you.as much as it might and or could hurt ending a relationship is not the end of the world, its time to fold a bad hand, sorry to mix metaphors.So you rather to get hurt by your current bf, than get hurt if mr handsome wasn't into you like you think?
Well, the new stuff won't come until you dump the old ones.
Seriously? You make it sound like you're shopping for cars. "Should I sell my environment-killing SUV for a eco-friendly Hybrid?"
Jerk or not, these are human beings we're talking about, not cars. How immature is it to dump your jerk boyfriend just to have somebody "nicer"? Treat these two as separate cases. If you can't handle being in a relationship with your boyfriend, break it off with him because of THAT reason, NOT because you want to go after this other guy. You also need to think carefully about whether you REALLY like this other guy, and that you're not merely looking for a replacement. You say your bf is a jerk, yet you keep running back to him...that's something you need to deal with.
ARGH! ARE YOU ONE OF THE 75% I DESCRIBED!!
P.S. GOOD LUCK WHATEVER YOU DECISION IS!
Even if this "Mr. Handsome" doesn't end up liking you, I still think that if you are unhappy with your current guy, you should just dump him. Wouldn't you regret wasting another few years of your life on someone you're not entirely happy with? I don't think you need an instant transition to another guy. The break between bf's can be scary but I think it must be done! Good luck :)
It seems like to me that your boyfriend must really be a jerk if you are refering to him as one. Give the long haul some thought. Listen to your heart. It may be that you will have to take a risk but risk taking is one of the charicteristics of creativity. Why don't you just tell Mr. Nice Guy you like him and see what happens? If you break up with the jerk and you have to go without a boyfriend for a little while it won't be the end of the world. It sounds like you and the jerk have an understanding. Do you love him?
The way I figure it, you should consider your current boyfriend on his own merit. Would you still want to dump him if this other guy didn't come around? If he's no good for you, then dump his ass. But don't dump him just because you found someone "nicer."How do you know that's going to work out better after 5 and a half years.
In short.. what @KasumiCelesta@xanga said.
Who cares if the handsome guy likes you? If the guy you're dating is a jerk to you- stop dating him. If you don't like somebody, why are you dating him? Do you like him or not?
if your "nice guy" continues to flirt with you after knowing that you have a boyfriend, i'd say that's a big NO. if you even was debating to break up with your boyfriend, then do it. BUT do NOT. i repeat, doNOT go out with the other guy [right away]. take some time off for yourself.
present bf sounds like a jerk you should have dumped 5 years ago (allowing a 6 month realization period, haha). that being said, you should never dump someone FOR someone else. if you ALWAYS need to be in a relationship, you're running away from yourself and you need to stop. definately dump this guy and then be your own single independent self for awhile. this will not only give you time to find your bearings again and get to know yourself better (5 1/2 years is a long time to recover from, you know....especially if you've lost yourself dating him and i'm going to bet you have, because i've been there too) but also time to ascertain whether or not mr. handsome is interested at all. haven't you learned yet that rushing into a relationship is not the way to go? you can't have anything to give to the next relationship you're in unless you spend some time reclaiming yourself from the soon-to-be-over one you're currently nursing along. sounds like you might need to grow up before you try anything as mature as love.
:)
This is easy. Dump the jerk, get another guy.
your with the "jerk" because he's a jerk, that's what you like, otherwise you would have left him, if you see this nice guy odds are you'll go back to what you like.
@Dare2BDiferentt@xanga - lol that's my solution to everything.
@emmaleaaa@xanga - I agree. it's better to be happy alone then unhappy with a prick as a bf
You don't dump your current boyfriend just because you think another guy might be there. Likewise, you don't NOT dump your current boyfriend because you fear that another guy won't automatically be there for you to attach yourself to. If your boyfriend is a jerk, break up with him because he treats you like crap; not because some other guy could be lined up.
Look at it like this. If you want to be with a guy who supposedly treats you like crap, stay with him. I mean, you obviously get SOMETHING out of the situation, otherwise you wouldn't hang around.
If you want to be treated with respect, because you say that you aren't - basically, then leave him. Be a big girl and live on your own without needing a relationship.
If the other guy ends up liking you, awesome. If not, I think you can handle being single. It's not like you'll go straight to Hell.
Do what ever you think you'll be happier with. Don't stick with the mean guy just because you've been with him for so long. Make yourself happy.
LEAVE HIM
Your only making yourself suffer by continuing this relationship with this jerk. Go for the more attractive, smarter, nicer man! Why are women such suckers for assholes?
So basically everything I want to say has been said, but I don't think it's possible to reply to everyone on here at once. Heh.
@Pretty much everyone:
If you're unhappy dating a jerk, then stop dating one.
Never dump someone just because you see someone that might be more appealing (in this case, someone who is simply nicer).
My advice: dump the jerk, take some time alone, and later on find someone who'll treat you the way you deserve.
Best of luck to you.