Friday, 12 June 2009
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Why Pr0n Sucks: A Man's Perspective
I hate it. Wow, right? It's virtually unheard of in this society. I haven't always hated it, though... there was a time when it was all I thought about, all I looked forward to.I was in middle school. In 7th grade, I found my dad's dirty magazines in a closet in a bag. I continued to visit that closet nearly every day for the next two years until I finally stopped on my own accord. Over the years, I have come to figure out that many things about pr0n are basically abominable.
1. Guys, seriously, real women do NOT look like that. The hugenormous boobs, the perfectly shaved vaginas, it's all fake. None of it is real, and hopefully many will learn that. Many women have smaller busts, which are fantastic IMO. You can't let false attraction to things that rarely ever exist in real life get in the way of true attraction.
2. Pr0n damages relationships. I am here to tell you, when you're polishing your gun to fake women, the satisfaction with real sexual activities decreases. Also, it just feels wrong. Looking at pr0n basically says that you're unsatisfied with your partner's body and wish to relieve yourself to fantasies of women who AREN'T your SO.
3. Pr0n addictions are real. It may start with looking at it just a few times, which turns into a few times a week, a few times a day. It can consume every facet of your life, especially including real relationships. If you use pr0n to fulfill unsatisfied sexual urges, talk to your partner. Don't fall prey to the world of faux women.
I was addicted to pr0n for 2 years, but even after I "broke myself", I was still addicted to slapping the monkey. I began to notice that it became a drain on the real-life pleasure from sexual activities, and so I stopped cold-turkey more or less. It may not be for everyone, but ceasing self-pleasure brings the world of sex into focus in ways which you could never imagine. Along with not looking at pr0n, not doing certain activities at all makes everything better- TRUST me. I've been there, done that, got that wet t-shirt.
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About the Author
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- From: harmonyminusmelody@xanga
- Name: Evan
- About Me: in reference to my username, i have been since acquainted with my melody and we shout to the heavens our concordant song of life and love. i am a lover, a God-fearer, a space enthusiast, an aerospace engineer in-training, a writer, a gamer. i am lazy, opinionated, overweight, overbearing, and full of myself, but honestly, WHO ISN'T?!? at least i can say i'm not full of YOURSELF.
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Comments (81)
"Looking at pr0n basically says that you're unsatisfied with your
partner's body and wish to relieve yourself to fantasies of women who
AREN'T your SO."
Wow.... you are so wrong. Looking at porn does not mean you are sexually tired of your SO. It just means your horny and want to jack off. Are you going to punish the people who read cheesy romance novels, have wet dreams about other people, or watch sex scenes in movies?
People. It is NATURAL for a guy/girl to want to watch porn. To be offended or upset is very petty and only tells me you're insecure about your own relationship.
Porn addictions do exist. So does alcohol addiction. Does that mean we should stop drinking?
Wow. I never thought I would see a man say what I've been saying for years now. You. Are. A. Genius.
porn sucks.
the end.
thanks for reading.
(:
As a girl, it does bother me to know that my boyfriend "gets off" to other, fake, unrealistic women. I'm not sure how to feel about it. I don't want to make it a big deal (since it seems to be very commonplace) but I also feel like I'm not good enough or something. I mean he uses it when I'm not around, but if he doesn't, yanno, "get off" and then sees me, our sex is much more... rewarding? He's more into it, like he's more pent up or something.
I don't like porn... I don't like my boyfriend watching it, but I can't really tell him to stop =/
lol how about if you and your SO watch porn together* then ?
would that help the relationship ?
*personally I dont like porn - nor guys watching porn - but they do it anyways*
In society it's normal** for guys to watch porn -.-" so I cant really say much about it to my SO
@MangoWOW@xanga - Porn addictions do exist. So does alcohol addiction. Does that mean we should stop drinking?
Yes. Or at least those who are addicted should, right? And those who aren't: by subtracting temptation from the equation it reduces the chance of becoming addicted.
Funnily enough, I don't actually disagree with you, but I think there are some valid points made in this blog, and your argument seems a little flawed.
I think that the fact those women are SO FAKE, makes porn matter very little to me. I know that my boyfriend knows that they are fake, as I do, and for that reason I know he cares far more about me than them: I'm real. I think I would be bothered if my boyfriend used porn instead of being intimate with me, but in addition to, and at the same time as? It doesn't matter, it's kind of fun.
@englishpearl@xanga - I think watching porn together can be fun, but if it's his way of getting off when you aren't around.. and that takes away from the time when you are around... I think it's not really doing well.
how are you gonna say this about guys when i know plenty of girls who watch it too, and then they drool over romance novel characters and get off to thinking about edward or jacob plundering them? come on now.......
@MangoWOW@xanga - I've been in a relationship with a man who was addicted to porn, and it is very detrimental to any relationship, no matter how secure you are.
@haloed@xanga - I totally agree! If he was using it instead of being with me, that would be a serious problem.
@englishpearl@xanga - Yeah, I have ... no real issues with him using it while I'm not there, but if it does affect how intimate/romantic/wild sexy hot our sex is, then I'm going to probably say "lay off until you see me next". Pent up sex is amazing >.>
@haloed@xanga - Totally agree! I wish more women were more supportive of porn use, in certain contexts; I often feel I am in the minority.
DEAR GOD, IF I HAVE TO SAY THIS ONE MORE TIME, I THINK I'LL EXPLODE!
Ugh.
Porn does not ruin all sexual relationships. For some people, it does not feel wrong. I have watched porn through all of my relationships and have had perfectly fine reactions to sex and the relationship. Both my boyfriend and I watch porn, and I'd hazard to guess we probably have a better sex life than most people our age...not because of the porn, but because porn is inconsequential to us. We know it's fake. We know.
Porn is okay to watch when in a relationship, as long as your partner is okay with it. Personally, I don't give a crap who watches porn. Funny story: my ex calls me up one night, almost in tears, and tells me he was watching porn. He knew I didn't give a shit. I said, "So? I watch it all the time. You know that." He replied with something like it still made him feel guilty or something. When I told him to not be guilty on my behalf, he nearly burst into tears. Wtf? Man up. It's porn. (He was also from a very sexually repressed household. Lots of Pandora's Boxes there.)
By stigmatizing porn, or making excuses why people shouldn't enjoy it, you're sexually repressing people. Don't get me wrong; you're entitled to your opinion, but I find the sweeping generalizations just as bad, if not worse, as the ones found in the "Woman's Perspective" article. I know men that do not agree with you. I am a woman that does not agree with the other girl.
Side note: porn addiction and masturbation addiction are psychological things that are best left to psychologists to diagnose. Addiction means you're thinking about it all the time and you let it control your life (ie, not having any friends, not eating healthy, becoming entirely engrossed more than half the day in finding your next fix). People throw around "sexual addictions" quite a bit too much, and I just want to make sure you know you were addicted, not just guessing or punishing yourself with words for something you felt was wrong.
AMEN!!!
well... I agree with you.
nice to know a guy's perspective.
porn doesnt turn me on because I'm distracted by how badly i feel the the girl and I start wondering about what horrible things happened in her life to drive her to porn..that and I can;t stand the horrible acting and the cheesiness of it all...
It'd be fun to watch porn together and enact it together ;)
But if he decides to stay home instead of hanging out with me to watch porn, that's a different story.........
"Looking at pr0n basically says that you're unsatisfied with your partner's body and wish to relieve yourself to fantasies of women who AREN'T your SO."
well, if you dont have an SO, how is porn wrong? are you saying if we dont have an SO, we shouldnt relieve ourselves? thats not healthy.
@Mangonese@xanga - Excellent comment.
Ha, I love when idiots generalise without having actual knowledge on the subject they're discussing. Good thing for me that I did a paper on pornography for College.
Firstly, the assumption that one tires of their IRL sexual relationships because of porn is not as broad as you believe it to be. On the contrary. It has been reported that while viewing pornographic pictures, the female's neuroelectrical impulses are as strong as (if not more than) a male's. What this indicates is that within the typical female brain is a feeling of arousal through pornographic imagery; which can be used to spice up a "dulled" sex life. (Citation)
Secondly, while porn addictions have been reported to carry the same neurological makeup as a heroin addiction, only 10% of adults admit to having a porn addiction (72% of them are male, 28% female) (citation).
At the very least, try to have some facts before writing such bullshit. When you look at the numbers, your little tirade just looks pissy and piddly.
"Looking at pr0n basically says that you're unsatisfied with your
partner's body and wish to relieve yourself to fantasies of women who
AREN'T your SO."
I disagree with that.. maybe that's why you did it.. but I'm positive that's not why ALL people do it.
obviously no addiction is good, but I wouldn't say every once in awhile means you're not satisfied with your boyfriend or girlfriend.
Word.
My boyfriend and I both prefer hentai over real-life porn. Not only does it allow for more interesting "stories" (that term often used very loosely, lol), it also doesn't give anyone any unrealistic expectations of actual people and actual sex... since it's a cartoon. Plus, you aren't fantasizing about other people. (That's not really an issue for us, but it is for some people.) While watching hentai, you're enjoying completely fictional situations with made up, two-dimensional characters. I recommend trying it sometime if you never have; just be warned, it can be difficult to find good hentai if you're not willing to pay for it. I guess that's true with almost all kinds of porn, though. For still images, I recommend affairanime.com (you'll have to make an account before you can view anything to verify your age, but it's completely free); it also provides links to other similar sites. Am I allowed to say that on this site?
Wow, I can't believe an actual post from a guy who doesn't like porn and agrees with me! Highly, highly impressive, in my opinion. I know you'll get beat up for it, but I'm glad you wrote it!