It shouldn't be a surprise, really, that females are sexual beings. Some may even venture to say, highly sexual beings...almost as sexual as men. *gasp*
Yeah, that's right, girls (of course not all girls) can think about and talk about sex just as much and with as great detail as men. But of course, we all know females can't go around openly expressing their sexuality without being called a whore/slut/some permutation of the sort. So a few points I'd like to make before any misjudging or mislabeling takes place.
There is a difference between a
sexually empowered female and a
slut. The former is someone who is just naturally a more sexual girl and has the strength and courage to embrace that side of her, express it as she sees fit, and does not fear whatever backlash she receives from society. She is able to break the chains of propriety, rules of society created by men to control women. She lives her life her way. And I am truly envious of these women.
Then you have the slut. These women may also be naturally more sexually inclined, but what differs them from the sexually empowered female is that they use their sexuality as a tool because they lack other skills.
They are the insecure women who feed off the attention of the opposite sex as their only means of determining their self worth. These women are dependent and weak and are slowing the progression of women as a whole. So before you go labeling someone a derogatory term, take a look at the character and personality of that person and what her motivations are for doing what she does.
One more point: guys, don't think you all get off so easy. Girls know who is a manwhore and who is not. And if you're going to chase whatever ass you can get your hands on, good luck getting a girl with any substance. Girls with standards like guys with standards too. That being said, one starts to wonder, well, what about the sexually inclined guy? Does he not have it tough? Being bound, like women, by the rules of a more conservative society? Sure, you have it tough, but not as bad as the sexually inclined female. Why? Because in general (sure, there are exceptions), the rate limiting step for dudes is actually
catching the girl. They have to actively get the water out of the well. Girls? The option is almost always presented to us, and we constantly have to be the one to say no. And it might just be my personal opinion, but damming a river is much harder than pulling a bucket out of a well. So for the sexually inclined female who chooses, for whatever reason, to not follow every whim and fulfill every urge...well,
she deserves a lot more credit than she gets.
True
Comments (32)
This is well written and I really like your definition of a sexually empowered female vs a slut.
And i like the "getting the water out of the well" part! :)
You tell it, girl.
-love-
Fantastic!
Maybe you should take your own advice and get to know these girls who fall into your definition of slut.
What started out as a potentially good post turned into your own personal rant against girls who don't fit your definition of appropriate sexuality.
@LupusInvictus@xanga - the premise of my argument is that I already "know" these girls and they fall into their respective categories. My point isn't about what is and isn't appropriate sexuality, it's about the difference between those who have sex and love sex in it of itself and those who use it as a tool to get what they want or to feel good about themselves because they have nothing else to use.
@wonderland7386@xanga - "slowing the progression of women as a whole" is an awful big statement for someone who isn't talking about what is appropriate and inappropriate sexuality.
@LupusInvictus@xanga - I don't quite understand how the two are related/relevant. When I say "slowing the progression of women as a whole", I am talking about how men continue to assume a girl who is a sexual person is a "slut/whore/ho" with self esteem/daddy issues when in reality, many females are incredibly strong emotionally and intellectually and just love sex. As long as there are an abundance of women with no skills and low self esteem that continue to use sex for money/love/attention, society (especially men) will continue to associate sexual women with those qualities and overlook those sexual women who are nothing like that at all.
If there's one thing I hate, it's the double standard of a girl who's "easy" and a guy who's "just being a guy".
@wonderland7386@xanga - You are implying that there is something wrong with using sex for money, love, or attention and that there is something wrong with men associating sexual women with those qualities. That's what I'm saying. It just seemed like a low blow at at type of sexuality.
@LupusInvictus@xanga - Ah, yes, my entire argument is based on the belief that using sex for money/love/attention is wrong and weak. So if one doesn't agree with that, then the rest of the argument is useless.
i also detest the fact that guys being sexually driven is justified by their gender while a woman has to justify her sexual appetite depending on her social stature, status quo (single, married, divorced, etc) and her income. wtf? O_o
@Meowmeowkimmaee@xanga - exactly what i was thinking
I wouldn't be so quick to judge people.
Sadly, nobody is going to stop labeling everyone else. Women will always be considered sluts to someone, men will always be considered selfish bastards to someone.
I wouldn't be so quick to judge people.
"I wouldn't be so quick to judge people." x 3
Ah, well this was a lovely post. Nothing bugs me more than the double standard than the fact that we, women ourselves, are the ones who tend to uphold it the most : /
Good points made.
(:
so can we say the same for a man that is picky with his prey?
I like it!
I enjoyed this post. Thanks!
While I like this post and its attempt to explain the differences between a sexual enpowered woman and a whore or slut. I tend to disagree with how a whore is described here.
See I am a whore and very proud of it. I have used sex to get things needed to care for myself and to provide what was needed for my children. However this doesn't make me insecure or lower than a sexually empowered women. I'm sexually enpowered because I know what I want, I know how to use what I have to get it if I desire. Everyone woman at some point has used their sexuality to get what they want or were they want in life. Most will deny it because of the label you get for using what is only natural.
I don't live in labels, matter fact I can't stand labels. I believe they are retarded period. Labels are made so people can classify you on what they see. I can't say I actually fit into any specific claissifcation for women. As I classify myself as myself. I'm me and the only person who understands me is me and those that get inside my closed doors. But then there has only been one person inside my closed doors that actually gets me and knows how much of a whore I am and who is greatly turned on by that fact.
Sex and sexuality are all natural and it is a good thing too. If your not afraid to express what you desire and go for it. The hell with what people have to say because most people don't think for themselves, they think with their programming from chidlhood and soceity.
Soceities standards are just societies standards. Individual standards are individual. I do not live my life my societies standards. I can not stand the standard american robot living in societies standards only, just to fit in. It is living a lie.
I have been not fitting in my whole life. I was a whore in high school and everyone knew it. I was attacked for it because it wasn't fitting in with soiceities standards. I hung out with the men and seen that woman can be just the same as men. The only difference is society expects and places a responisbility onto woman to be pure and clean and not lose and etc.
Our soceity says it is okay for men to be sexually driven, matter fact most people completely over look it. I never could see why one thing was alright for men and not women. So I lived my life as I wanted to. I enjoyed my body and I still do everyday.
I can't say that there isnt women out there doing sexual things for the wrong reasons. There are and there always will be. But what comes to my mind is, who says what is right and what is wrong. Because what is right for me, will always be wrong for someone else.
So with that said, sexuality and how it is used and what it is used for becomes a individual adventure and there is no right and wrong except for what the person doing the act feels. Only the individual knows what is right and wrong for themselves. The sooner society learns and realized that there are 600 billion people on this planet with 600 billion different and varing ideals, the better.
No one person is the same and no one person can say who is right and who is wrong.
Life is much more enjoyable free of societies standards.
Illyria
OKay after reading some posts here, I must point out something else. Many woman work in the sex industry for many different reasons. All of these woman are different and have come into their job for different reasons. Until you know the reasons for the perosn in that position you can't understand anything about them, you can only judge them on what you see. What you see is your perseption, which is guided by your life and your expereinces and your up bring all of which are programmed by your parents and the soceity you live in.
By your perceptions it might be wrong, but just as you wouldn't like someone passing judgement on you, the women in sexual industry wouldn't like your judgement passed on them. However most of them have thick skin and understand the ignorance of others and it wouldnt bother them much at all.
I think you should read a book titled "Red Velvet Memoirs of a working girl" by Lisa Lou. You get a full clear picture of a woman life in the industry of sex. You see the normal enscurity of women and the hurt and pain involved and the respect for what she has to do to live her life. How hard the choice was to become a working girl and why and what lead her to that point. But you also see the enjoyment she has for the job and the hatred as well. You see bad expereinces and good ones, happy moments and sad. In allactuality if you truly look at the job and not what job it is, it is still a job and there are the normal "what am I doing here" feeling that most people have about their jobs.
I feel maybe before writing something like this, that it seems you don't understand, you should read a lil more up on it. Your post shows that you think you understand this because you know people in the position, but how well do you know them? Most people don't tell all, even to their closest friends they don't tell all. Because of the judgement that comes.
Still no one has the right to pass judgement on anyone else. At least not until they can take full account for who they are and judge themselves first. Judging yourself is much harder than judging someone else which is why most people judge others and get pissed off when they are judged.
Illyria
@Nieza_Raven@xanga - I've read "Memoirs of Manhattan Call Girl" which I thought was a pretty good book. (so to add an addendum to my previous comment on women who used sex for money..) I had always assumed that women who were working in the adult industry were sexual women who loved sex and were just getting paid for it, which I think is perfectly fine. If a woman who didn't care for sex but was working in the industry because the only thing she felt she had to offer to society was her body, then, still, I think that's sad. I would like to think everyone has more to offer than just their body. My argument centers around women who are strong enough to do something they love, regardless of backlash. So if having sex, regardless of whether or not your getting paid, is something you just love to do, and that is what you are doing, then I would think you are a sexually empowered woman. (btw, I think your description of yourself puts you completely in that category)
and sure, there is no "right" or "wrong" when it comes to sex, but I do think there is such thing as "strong" and "weak" when it comes to character and people. I'm placing no specific judgement on any specific people, I'm just using hypothetical examples for pple that hold those exact qualities I mentioned.
Recommending this post, very good and so true!