So, I have a guy friend. He's a really cool guy who I've known since my sophomore year of high school and his freshman (he's a year younger than me). We started to get incredibly flirty during my senior year of high school and continued on our little playful banter well through the summer, up until about two months ago when we stopped briefly (due to constrained school schedules), but we were able to at least touch base occasionally.
I am now back home for the summer and he's been eager to see me and we've pretty much fallen into our same flirting ways. After spending a year completely away from home in a new environment with new people, I looked back on our past conversations and interactions and realized he had a thing for me and I never knew it!
He still seems open to my advances, even giving out a few of his own, but of course, he has a girlfriend now. Because we have such an open relationship and are comfortable with each other, he has no problem with me asking questions about her. Though, he does not bring her up in conversation unless I ask and he still continues to flirt with me.
Would it be wrong of me to go into this "open door" even though there's another woman sitting in the living room?
Um, he has a girlfriend. I wouldn't pursue him, based on that fact alone.
Freaky. I'm in a VERY similar situation. Personally, I wouldn't pursue him because of his girlfriend, while knowing that if she finds out, she'll probably be pissed and make him feel like crap and that would suck knowing that I caused all of it. SO. Don't do it. :)
I would find someone else and not pursue him. This sounds like a hot mess of drama waiting to happen.
He has a girlfriend, but probably still has feelings for you. Don't make things worse. Back away and let him do whatever he needs to do (confess his feelings, break up, etc). Don't encourage him.
put urself in his girlfriend's shoes and u actually became his girlfriend. would u like it if he was flirtin' with some other chick trying to get with him while knowing he was going out with you?
if he does this to her, he's gonna bound to be doing it to you as well.
Just be patient. Don't be overly flirtatious or make any advances, but let him know you're still interested. Things with his girlfriend are most likely bound to end sometime anyway and you'll still have some fun in the mean time.
"Would it be wrong of me to go into this "open door" even though there's another woman sitting in the living room?"
-YES. Any action that puts you in the HOMEWRECKER category is clearly wrong.
Btw, if he actually continued to flirt with you and eventually cheated on his girlfriend with you, that would make him a cheater, which makes him a jerk. Oh, and it makes you a jerk too, for being the other woman.
Move on, dude.
"
"Would it be wrong of me to go into this "open door" even though there's another woman sitting in the living room?"
-YES. Any action that puts you in the HOMEWRECKER category is clearly wrong.
Btw, if he actually continued to flirt with you and eventually cheated on his girlfriend with you, that would make him a cheater, which makes him a jerk. Oh, and it makes you a jerk too, for being the other woman.
Move on, dude."
Harsh? Maybe. Blunt? Yes. Honest? Yes. Good advice? Definitely.
I couldn't possibly have said it better.
@noree_n@xanga - My thoughts exactly. EVERY girl wants their boyfriend to sleep around with random dumb chicks behind her back.
Yes, dumb, because that's what you'd be if you pursued him. Not only are you an idiot for asking this question, but you're a double idiot for entertaining the notion of destroying this guy's relationship for your own selfish wants.
so just think about it and put yourself in the girlfriend's position, how would you feel if another girl did that to your boyfriend?
Don't be a whore.
He has a gf already. He shouldn't be flirting with you and vice versa when you're well aware of the fact that he has a gf. Obviously, he wants his cake and eat it too. You're older.. you're supposed to be wiser.
Yes, it's wrong. Relationships that begin through infidelity DON'T work out. If he wants you, he'll break up with his current girlfriend. You'd be surprised how easily his demeanor can change if you present this ultimatum (you or her).
leave it...if he haas a gf evidently he didn't or doesn't treasure u enough at the moment.
so thus i think its impt tht you move on and finding someone else who u like and love... it can be karma so please don't do something u don't wish to be done to yourself.
he have a girlfriend. stay away -.-
I wouldn't pursue someone who already had a girlfriend. I wouldn't want that done to me. Also, it would be best you didn't meddle in the relationship and let it take its course. If the relationship is going to end or whatever, let it be on their terms and you have nothing to do with it. This is just me, but I don't think I could live with myself knowing I intentionally and knowingly destroyed a relationship between two people out of my own selfishness.
NO NO NO!!! Stay away from him and quit crossing over the friendship boundaries. Put yourself in his girlfriend's position. How would you feel if some dumb girl was trying to break you and your boyfriend up? And how would you feel if some girl was "flirting" with your boyfriend the way you claim you and this boy flirt?
If you try to pursue this guy...good luck. One, you are looking for some drama so get ready to defend yourself when you have no reason to be with him. Second...you can't assume that he had a "thing" for you just by how he treated you. If he's blatantly flirting with you, he must be flirting with other girls too. Sometimes being friendly can come off as flirting. Don't make assumptions of him liking you before you HEAR it from his own mouth.
There's my two cents.
Don't be a homewrecker.
if you really have to ask that question, you are clearly not mature enough to handle a relationship yet.
 @JouaMua@xanga - lol i'm sure she was being sarcastic but i agree with your opinion.
jeez theres a few replies here who are really brutal...I think that if you can be a mature adult you should tell him how you feel but don't push...maybe he never knew you liked him guys usually respond better to upfront and on the table type stuff. I'm not saying you should go doing things behind his gfs back i'd kill my bf and that girl if he did that, but is it really so wrong to put your feelings on the table and walk away? no. If he truly loves her...your sol...if he loves you at least he knows now it's mutual and can be a big boy and make that decision on his own...but you need to respect his decision...also I'd wait a while if he does decide to break up just to ensure personal security and respect her...either way though the other people could be on to something if he's like this with her...maybe he's like this with others...
Comments (39)
Um, he has a girlfriend. I wouldn't pursue him, based on that fact alone.
Freaky. I'm in a VERY similar situation. Personally, I wouldn't pursue him because of his girlfriend, while knowing that if she finds out, she'll probably be pissed and make him feel like crap and that would suck knowing that I caused all of it. SO. Don't do it. :)
yes, DO IT!!!
I'm sure the girlfriend won't mind.
@steph - Agreed. Taken men are off limits. Dur.
I would find someone else and not pursue him. This sounds like a hot mess of drama waiting to happen.
He has a girlfriend, but probably still has feelings for you. Don't make things worse. Back away and let him do whatever he needs to do (confess his feelings, break up, etc). Don't encourage him.
put urself in his girlfriend's shoes and u actually became his girlfriend. would u like it if he was flirtin' with some other chick trying to get with him while knowing he was going out with you?
if he does this to her, he's gonna bound to be doing it to you as well.
Just be patient. Don't be overly flirtatious or make any advances, but let him know you're still interested. Things with his girlfriend are most likely bound to end sometime anyway and you'll still have some fun in the mean time.
-YES. Any action that puts you in the HOMEWRECKER category is clearly wrong.
Btw, if he actually continued to flirt with you and eventually cheated on his girlfriend with you, that would make him a cheater, which makes him a jerk. Oh, and it makes you a jerk too, for being the other woman.
Move on, dude.
"
"Would it be wrong of me to go into this "open door" even though there's another woman sitting in the living room?"-YES. Any action that puts you in the HOMEWRECKER category is clearly wrong.
Btw,
if he actually continued to flirt with you and eventually cheated on
his girlfriend with you, that would make him a cheater, which makes him
a jerk. Oh, and it makes you a jerk too, for being the other woman.
Move on, dude."
Harsh? Maybe. Blunt? Yes. Honest? Yes. Good advice? Definitely.
I couldn't possibly have said it better.
@noree_n@xanga - My thoughts exactly. EVERY girl wants their boyfriend to sleep around with random dumb chicks behind her back.
Yes, dumb, because that's what you'd be if you pursued him. Not only are you an idiot for asking this question, but you're a double idiot for entertaining the notion of destroying this guy's relationship for your own selfish wants.
so just think about it and put yourself in the girlfriend's position, how would you feel if another girl did that to your boyfriend?
Don't be a whore.
He has a gf already. He shouldn't be flirting with you and vice versa when you're well aware of the fact that he has a gf. Obviously, he wants his cake and eat it too. You're older.. you're supposed to be wiser.
Yes, it's wrong. Relationships that begin through infidelity DON'T work out. If he wants you, he'll break up with his current girlfriend. You'd be surprised how easily his demeanor can change if you present this ultimatum (you or her).
@noree_n@xanga - LOL! My thoughts exactly.
dont be a USURPER
i have and its not fun
leave it...if he haas a gf evidently he didn't or doesn't treasure u enough at the moment.
so thus i think its impt tht you move on and finding someone else who u like and love...it can be karma so please don't do something u don't wish to be done to yourself.
he have a girlfriend. stay away -.-
I wouldn't pursue someone who already had a girlfriend. I wouldn't want that done to me. Also, it would be best you didn't meddle in the relationship and let it take its course. If the relationship is going to end or whatever, let it be on their terms and you have nothing to do with it. This is just me, but I don't think I could live with myself knowing I intentionally and knowingly destroyed a relationship between two people out of my own selfishness.
Another silly blog with a silly question.
@linguistic_nonsense@xanga - Very well said.
@noree_n@xanga - You are an idiot!
NO NO NO!!! Stay away from him and quit crossing over the friendship boundaries. Put yourself in his girlfriend's position. How would you feel if some dumb girl was trying to break you and your boyfriend up? And how would you feel if some girl was "flirting" with your boyfriend the way you claim you and this boy flirt?
If you try to pursue this guy...good luck. One, you are looking for some drama so get ready to defend yourself when you have no reason to be with him. Second...you can't assume that he had a "thing" for you just by how he treated you. If he's blatantly flirting with you, he must be flirting with other girls too. Sometimes being friendly can come off as flirting. Don't make assumptions of him liking you before you HEAR it from his own mouth.
There's my two cents.
Don't be a homewrecker.
if you really have to ask that question, you are clearly not mature enough to handle a relationship yet.
 @JouaMua@xanga - lol i'm sure she was being sarcastic but i agree with your opinion.
jeez theres a few replies here who are really brutal...I think that if you can be a mature adult you should tell him how you feel but don't push...maybe he never knew you liked him guys usually respond better to upfront and on the table type stuff. I'm not saying you should go doing things behind his gfs back i'd kill my bf and that girl if he did that, but is it really so wrong to put your feelings on the table and walk away? no. If he truly loves her...your sol...if he loves you at least he knows now it's mutual and can be a big boy and make that decision on his own...but you need to respect his decision...also I'd wait a while if he does decide to break up just to ensure personal security and respect her...either way though the other people could be on to something if he's like this with her...maybe he's like this with others...