He lived on the third floor of the apartment complex behind my neighborhood. I would travel the five flights of stairs and knock on apartment number 9 wondering if my heart was beating so fast because of the slight hike or the fact that he would be opening the door momentarily. Once that door swung open, I had my answer.
He was the kind of beautiful that made your heart ache. When I say “beautiful” I don’t mean that he was a pretty boy. He was very handsome with a bright smile, perfectly symmetrical face, athletic physique, and a sarcastically enhanced sense of humor, which I find oddly attractive. But he had a warm and kind soul. This was his most alluring quality. His soul is what drew me in and made me thirst for more.
I’d met him several times before I actually noticed him. He was friends with my ex-boyfriend and his words were the ones that helped me glue the pieces of my broken heart back together. He knew I deserved better and he let me know it.
He was unimaginably blunt and honest yet amazingly laid back and relaxed. He was open yet mysterious. He was jaded yet optimistic. He was older than me by two and a half years and working his way through college. He had seen his fair share of heartache and he was ready to take on the world.
Sadly, I was not meant to be part of his world. It took a little time, a long talk with my best friend, not hearing from him for weeks, and a good, hard look in the proverbial mirror to realize that he didn’t want to be more than “friends with benefits”. It took me a long time to realize that I deserve someone who wants all of me, all the time, not just part of me whenever it fits their mood. With me, as it should be for every girl, it’s all or nothing. I am a better person because of him and for that I will always be thankful.
True
Comments (35)
I don't get how a girl can speak so glowingly of a guy who just wants to be "friends with benefits."
i like this a lot.
Sigh, I'm dealing with this right now...
It's always reality and the truth that hurts us the most. But in the end it is what also helps us get through it I guess..
=\
But it sounds like you've recovered and you're right..everyone deserves to be treated better.
Wow.
been there; done that.
all or nothing. black or white. everything's better if it's teh extreme. maybe. idk.
totallys.
I'm glad you're a better person because of that. Too bad that you had to go through it though.
@Theophilus166@xanga - haha
Wow, that was such an inspiring read. It's nice to wake up and realize you deserve better. :)
While it's true that the truth hurts, it is what is best for us. I don't know about everybody else, but I like knowing what is really going on and that most things, if not all, in my life are legitimate.
AMEN! is all I have to say. Good for you for realizing you deserve 100% from someone and thats it. No negotiating.
Uh..... he told you that you deserve better yet he only wants to be FWB? Some guy!
i guess i'm just not strong like you. there comes a point when being in a relationship is just so cliche and instead of going through all the trouble of a relationship, it's nice to just be with someone for a little bit and get it over with.
how could he know you needed better and let you know it... by leading you on to become friends with benefits? was he the 'better' that you needed?
this entry makes no sense. you don't sound strong; you sound suckered in by a loser.
@Theophilus166@xanga - It's not that he's a bad guy, it just wasn't the right time or place. But I'm still friends with him.
@j - I am strong but thanks for judging me on the only post of mine that you've ever read.
Did u never let him know that you wanted more than friends with benefits? I mean I've been through the same thing, and it just stayed that way, cause on the one hand I don't want a relationship.. But maybe he just thought you didn't expect anything more?
Speechless.
@Theophilus166@xanga - Ditto.
@mayanao@xanga - I know, right? Some guy.. some guy...
Some people prefer synergy over exclusivity. Not everyone likes putting all their eggs in one basket. If you want to find someone that does, then good for you, but don't try to convince everyone to do it your way.
well don't need to be there unless u got a whole lot of time to waste...with the fwb thingy.
good realization.
you are completely right! every time a girl gets treated like this, she does come out of it as a better person. guys need to understand girls more and take the time to think about our feelings before they do the things they do (i.e. care about us the way we usually do them).
@mayanao@xanga - exactly! ;)