Wednesday, 10 June 2009
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This Girl Is Texting Me Nonstop
So here's how the story begins: I met this girl through a friend who is about 6 years younger than I am - I am 24, she's almost 19. From day one, she started talking to me a lot and we started texting. I thought it was a bit weird since I'm so much older, but we texted each with about 600 times within the past 2 weeks (when we first met with 50% of those texts being my responses of course). She would ask me questions about random stuff that had no use other than for small talk. She would text me in the mornings to see if I was awake and talk to me and ask to hang out. I had to reject the offers because I have a girlfriend (5+ years together) and it would just seem a bit too strange to go hang out with a girl who's much younger than I am. After each time I told her an excuse she would say how much it hurt that I kept rejecting her and that I'm mean. I even asked her a few times what else she's doing when she's texting me and she would tell me that she's just texting me, and me only, pretty much all the time.I'm pretty sure she knew about my not being single from my other friends, but just to be sure, I slid it in a text about my birthday coming up and how I will be spending it with my girl. I thought the texts would stop there; they didn't. She was still acting exactly the same way as the first day we met, always asking me what I'm doing, texting every other day, if not every day. I told my girlfriend about her and I'm pretty sure she is a little upset. We were at a party one night and I got a text from the girl and my girlfriend told everyone that I was texting my "other" girlfriend when they asked who I was texting. I was pretty shocked since I told her and have shown her how I've been responding to this girl. I've done everything except tell the girl to stop talking to me because I'm not a mean guy.
This girl met my girlfriend finally and afterward, the girl told me that she felt weird that my girlfriend was there. I don't know what she meant by that and she wouldn't really explain.
I finally manned up and asked her why she was always talking to me and she said that she just wants to be friends, and that she's not even looking for a boyfriend because I kept trying to ask her about going out with some guy we both knew. I tried pushing her away several times by being mean, but every time I did, she would act really sad over texts and say that I'm mean and that I owe her stuff because of that (food, time and attention obviously). This girl is driving me a bit insane.
She left for vacation a couple days ago out of the country, but on the day she was leaving, she texted me saying that she knows I will miss her. I didn't even know how to respond to that.
This girl keeps telling me that she's just being friendly and that she talks to all of her friends like this, yet most of the time we spend hours texting each other, I'm the only one she texts. She likes to text me before she goes to bed and say good night. What is going on? Is this girl trying to screw with my relationship? Does she think this is funny or something? I don't know what to do. Halp...
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Comments (151)
lmao, first thing I thought when reading this was: "I hope you got an unlimited texting plan!"
Honestly, I do think you're misunderstanding everything. She does text you a lot, but that doesn't mean that she doesn't want you like that. Me and my best friend do it too, but it doesn't add up to anything. Perhaps you may be giving her some subliminal ideas?
However, she shouldn't be placing you on guilt trips and the like. Even if she knows you got a girlfriend, and she still talks to you, it should be cool. It wouldn't kill you to hang out with her as just friends (unless your girlfriend has a jealous streak), but if she still tries anything...seductive, then yes, get rid of her and block all incoming text messages. Tell her to stop texting you if this is going to impact your relationshp. It sucks to be the heavy and the mean-ass, but if you gotta do it, do it.
Some girls don't understand boundaries and limits, so maybe you need to be a little more harsh. She could just possibly be joking about the guilt trips though. In all honesty I would just laugh it off. Instead of making excuses per say, maybe just say you are with your girlfriend or maybe it isn't a good idea.
Honesty is really the best policy in this case I think.
She seems like she is just over friendly and may just want your friendship.
I'm sure if you don't hold back what you are thinking about what's going on, then maybe she'll understand where you are coming from.
If she doesn't get it, she just seems to be naive and maybe you shouldn't talk to her.
It's a rough situation, but if the girlfriend isn't too happy about it (which I suppose is slightly understandable) I'd let the girl go.
If you really feel like it's not going to make or break you to talk to her, then I'd just not talk to her if it is getting to overwhelming.
Or like the previous post, just hang out with her; if she takes it too far, call it a day.
She clearly wants you. The "just friends" thing could be false or, in other case, she would spend days texting to other people too.
Block her incoming calls and don't reply her messages. It happened the same to me. I did like that and then she understood it wasn't the case to go on...
ditch her.
she seems clingy;
& she's not even your gf.
Her actions are shady. Her actions are impacting your relationship with your girlfriend. No man should be texting that much to someone that he's not dating...best friends or not. Once in a while, not a big deal but this girl sounds like she's trying to drive a wedge between you and your girl and from someone who's been on the girlfriend side of this whole situation-it hurts. A LOT. I'm not a jealous person by any means but it could potentially damage your relationship. Just ask my now ex...
first off, kudos to you for telling your girlfriend about it. i know guys who would hide it and then later when the girlfriend finds out on her own, shit hits the fan.
as for your problem, why don't you just stop responding to her texts? you don't HAVE to answer every single one. slowly reply less and less and hopefully she'll get the hint. or, start talking about your girlfriend a lot more.
if she has ulterior motives, she should back off after that. if she truly just wants to be friends, it could just be the way she is (she IS young, after all).
well if u feel all that weird..dont text her back..or u dont have to reply to EVERY SINGLE txt..u know? once or twice is good k..she sounds like the clingy type..
and i think ur gf prolly is upset since some random grl is jst txtin u non-stop.whose gf wudnt be?! and eventually that might affect ur relationship...i hope it doesnt!! btw..u dont owe anything to this grl.. looks like she mite have a crush on u..or else she wudnt txt 500 times a day.
hope everything works out!!
2) I don't care what anyone says... She likes. Maybe she honestly isn't aware of that fact... But she does.
3) don't meet with her. Avoid d temptation in d first place.
What a pimp!
you should just...stop texting her.
If it really bothers you that much, stop responding to her texts. Maybe she'll get the hint and stop being so overwhelming with the texting. Or if you don't want to completely "reject" her (even though, I don't see the problem with that, especially since it bothers your girlfriend and I think you should respect that), you can lie and say you switched cell phone plans and don't have unlimited text message use.
You really should just tell her that you can't talk or meet with her because of how it affecting your relationship with your gf and if she doesn't stop. Block all the text messages from her and don't respond back. Try to avoid in-person contact as much as possible. She is too clingy and she isn't even your gf!! That is soo wrong and your gf seems jealous or at least a bit upset soo I would do something about it.
Umm stop answering her texts? She thinks you like her because you keep talking to her. So, stop talking to her then.
You should just be honest with her. Say it is too much and that you think it's bothering your girlfriend. Don't respond to all her texts, and when you feel the need to, keep it short. One word answers. Don't show interest. If she keeps at it, quit responding all together.
I'd say she certainly wants more than a friendship.
The easiest thing to do would be to stop responding to every txt. I mean you have that right and she may think you are mean but she is crossing lines of propriety and decency by constantly seeking your attention. My ex had this problem when we were dating, he went off to college and there was this girl who kept calling, txting (and he didn't have a plan, so even I couldn't txt him) just about stupid crap and he told me about it and I told him I was uncomfortable and eventually I think he had a talk with her because it was getting out of hand. Maybe this girl has the same problem the girl with my ex did, they've had really crappy relationships in the past so they seek out attention from males they feel safe with (those in relationship, the ones that won't hit on them or take advantage of them). Regardless she is being inappropriate.
recommend ....
Maybe she's trying to screw with your relationship, maybe she's just annoying.... either way, unless you act differently she'll think things are peachy and continue as is.
I suggest just not answering her text for long periods of time.... for example, if she text you in the morning, reply six hours later saying 'sorry, left my phone at my place, I stay at my gf's' or something to that effect.... continue to do that, saying you're at work, or if you reply right away, say you're in a meeting can't talk... anything... hopefully that'll help.
stop responding or have your company block her number. She obviously doesn't care to respect boundaries so don't feel obligated to be nice to her.You're just feeding the obsession
Ignore her. But in the end if she's still constantly texting you, just tell her to back up, you don't want to be friends, that's it. She's probably think you feel something for her because you always respond back to her.
the easiest way to get out of this? stop answering her texts
or answer only 1 / 4 of the texts and keep the conversations very short
she's obviously not balanced, and her saying she just wants to be friends is a lie
It's really great you're being nice to her -- but I definitely think she's gone too far and that you'll have to cut her off somehow!
good luck :) xox
It sounds to me like this girl wants something more from you, even though she knows you're with someone. >_>
I commend you for telling your gf about it. Most guys would just hide it. :\
The best way is to either stop responding to her texts or have your cell phone provider block her number. Hopefully, she'll take the hint from that. :\
lol she sounds like the girl that texted my boyfriend about the same amount. Sometimes you have to just stop texting her, but you could send a text and say that you can't handle someone that texts more than 109238092872343 times a week. Tell her to stop texting you so much, and hopefully she'll text less. It's seems obvious that she wants to be more than friends. If she keeps texting you a lot, then don't answer most of them. And if she still does it, then stop answering. And if she still does it? block.
Stop responding to her text. As long as you continue to text her, what does it matter what you say to her? She sounds like one of those girls who likes to go after guys who are otherwise attached. It's a game. Don't play it.
A guy I used to work with used to send me text. Sure it sounds normal enough except that he only communicates with women at work he wants to sleep with. He was looking for trophies and notches on his bedpost. It didn't matter to him that I had a boyfriend at the time. So, one day, I just didn't respond. The end.
Just tell her she has to stop. Be honest with her.
And if she keeps texting you, don't respond. You'll only give her hope by responding.
You made a good choice by telling it to your gf. Most guys wouldn't do that!
it's real easy to ignore a text... lol.
@atmaster@xanga - Exactly. Or block her number for a spell.