Tuesday, 09 June 2009
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I Love You, But...
First of all, allow me to extend a big "f**k you" to all those of you who have used this line. It's like emotional blackmail combined with a good dollop of twisted mind games. The worst is when someone looks you in the eye and say "I love you, but I can't be with you". BULLSHIT. How dare people throw around the L word so carelessly. That's not love, it's selfishness. The only reason I see someone saying this line is to convince him/herself [and the person he/she is about to break] that he/she is a good person caught in unfortunate circumstances. Yeah, boo-hoo for you... sucks for the person at the receiving end who will probably spend nights agonizing over "what's wrong with me?"
There should be no "but", "however" or "except". Adding a "but" at the end of an "I love you" makes it conditional, and when it comes to love, as far as I know (which may not be a lot), love is unconditional - I can tell you that much.
It should always be "I love you," period, no exceptions. I refuse to settle for anything else or for anything less...and don't we all deserve more than that?my two pence thought of the day.
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About the Author
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- From: mz_d0rkabl3@xanga
- Name: JR
- About Me: go ahead judge me.. I dare you.
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Comments (102)
I totally agree.
The problem is that people use love in different ways. I mean, loving someone like a sibling and loving your SO is completely different.
I love it when my boyfriend says "I love you" to me. He doesn't say it much, so I really appreciate when he uses it. Love is a very strong word.
i also agree.
agreed.
Agreed.
THANK YOU. i agree.
I completely agree with you.
The thing is there are different types of love. You can love someone in a platonic or familial sense. Love is not limited to only that of romantic. You put love in a box when you only assume it's only romantic love they're speaking about.
Sometimes love truly exists in not the best environment and not between the most compatible couple. That's when the "but" comes in. It's called being real. This isn't The Notebook.
Like you've probably heard- love isn't the only component for a relationship to work. No reason to beat yourself up over something you can't control. Eat some ice cream.
I just went through with this with my ex. She said "I love you, but I can't be with you"
Her reason? "I just cant"
fucking bullshit.
Yeah, you're right. That's why I say I was never in love before I met my husband. Did I think I was? Sure. But in the end, that "love" turned out to be conditional. Oh well, I won't cry over spilled milk; neither should you!
Ah people use this all the time. Mostly as an excuse. >.>
But sometimes it does apply in different situations (and not break-ups). When I'm angry with my bf, there are times when I'll be "I love you, but I just can't talk to you right now. Call me back in a few minutes after I've calmed down" or something.
damn. lol.
i think someone got fucked over.
but i agree.
Right on, sister.
I don't agree. By saying these actions are selfish, you're being selfish yourself. I find this post incredibly intolerant and almost ignorant of other people's situations and sufferings.
That being said, I've used the line. And I meant it.
Totally agree with you, its bullshit!
Agreed!
My mommy always tell me that she's loves me, but she doesn't have to like me. Haha...she's kidding, of course. I hope.
Agree but also disagree. If the other person has a good (GOOD, G-O-O-D) reason to not be with you, then he/she is right. When it's a good reason, it's probably for the best of both persons to not be together anymore. I've said it to my boyfriend before (for a break). Although he agrees with me for some stuff, he still refused my good excuse and explained to me why. I agreed with him, we're now fine.
Basically what I mean is that if that person has the right to use the word ''but'', he/she should also give the chance to the other to reply ''but''.
all or nothing. i completely agree.
Its not you, its me. I love you but im not IN love with you. im failing you as a boy/girlfriend. you deserve better than i can give you. theyre all lines used by someone who is afraid of hurting your feelings... either out of fear or general worry of your mental well being when they dont want to be with you anymore.
You're cute as shit, why are you even dealing with these issues? Your personality must be super abrasive... after reading this it seems like you were probably forcing some poor sap into a situation he didn't really want to begin with. From reading your xanga(especially the one about you wanting to be a princess) it seems you have delusions of grandure in your head about how your life should be going/should end up. There's nothing wrong with believing you deserve the best of everything and striving for ALL OR NOTHING but c'mon, BE REALISTIC. (@Zombies_Ate_My_Neighbors@xanga - word!) Life is about compromise. We can't please everyone all the time. Maybe this needed to happen to you to help you realize life isnt the movies/fairytales. Though we have moments/days/experiences that are perfect and beautiful... for most of us down here on planet earth they are few and far between. Instead of complaining be thankful that you had the love in the first place.
I hate to use the cliche "better to have loved and lost..." saying but it seems to fit your brand of bitterness to a tee.
Uh....before we got married my husband and I broke up for 4 days and used that line on each other. There's a difference between loving someone and being with that person for the rest of your life. I still love my ex boyfriend because I think he's a good person (just like I love my best friend) but THANK GOD I didn't marry him because he cheated and has two babies from two different women whom he's NOT married to. I love my mom but she drives me insane sometimes! Same with my husband, but on a different level (of love and insanity that is).
I could see where you're coming from but when you do find THE one, you'll know what I'm talking abou.
"But" is not conditional. Fail.
i'm not sure how i feel about this actually... Like in a way I KIND OF agree. but at the same time. loving someone, and being IN LOVE with someone is different. I think being IN LOVE is unconditional. But loving someone is different. you can love ANYONE. love is infinite and you can love anyone. but to be in love with someone i think that that's the difference. I'm not sure.