Tuesday, 09 June 2009
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Dear Dr. Datingish: From Love to Confusion
To make a very long story somewhat short, I met a guy at my new job, and he said he recognized me from my old workplace, and had always had a huge crush on me. Funny thing is, I, too, remembered him coming in to my workplace and I always noticed him and also developed a crush. So we exchanged numbers, we were hanging out every day, and I even met his family; a few months later, we grew apart, we called each other less often, texted less often, but he was still around. We hung out less but nonetheless we still hung out occasionally and communicated, every time we did it was like nothing was wrong, and we just picked up right where we left off, but we would go days without talking in between.
So it started off so well, I really feel like we were falling in love, and I still have the same feelings for him, and he would do anything for me, he is constantly helping me out, telling me that he misses me yet we rarely go out anymore.
I am so confused by his mixed signals. I feel like I should confront him, but I don't know what to say or where to even begin, please help.
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Comments (13)
Ask him out, and then talk to him. The first part is negotiable.
support ...
Maybe you two are better off as friends? Ask him out, it's 2009!
Ask him out. Maybe he's unsure about your feelings for him, so he's holding back a little.
I thought you were already kinda dating, so I'm not gonna say ask him out. I'm gonna say - Read He's Just Not That Into You. (I didn't say watch the movie!!!! lol)
I think you guys are overdue for that "relationship" talk that every couple or near-couple needs to clarify what each of you are looking for. Maybe he feels like you're distancing away from him, or he's not sure about where to take your 'relationship' or whatever. Clear the air, have a talk abotu what you NEED to, not what you've talked about last. You guys seem to be in a lull right now because you're not talking about what needs to be talked about.
Don't be scared, call him out, bring up the topic: "Are you happy? What do you want out of a relationship?" and voice out your confusion because I'm sure he's as puzzled as you are! G'luck
I'm kind of baffled, so I'm just going to toss out a few ideas...
Is it possible he's afraid to commit?
Is it possible that he is unsure of himself?
Since you two aren't exclusive, could he possibly be seeing someone else?
Too many possibilities...
All the prior posts have the right idea, including kor_girl.
Reinforcing her notion that you need to gauge exactly what you two are to each other.
It's great that you're good friends, hopefully this isn't going to turn out to be a glass ceiling for you.
Best of Luck!
Sometimes a lack of confidence can result in distancing yourself so you don't look vulnerable. The only thing you can really do to confirm your hunch is to talk to him straight up and see what's up.
every person is completely different. no one in here can answer this question like he would! blogs like this are pointless..ask him how he feels!
No mixed signals, my dear. No one's made a move. That isn't mixed signals. It's just lack of communication.
Wats wrong with just going to the man and asking him whats good? i mean come on its 2009 and either u communicate or u dont. if u dont open your mouth and ask these questions to HIM then u will never know. he probably feels the same way u do that ur distant and thats why he is being the same way. so open your mouth and speak...COMMUNICATION IS KEY IN ANY KIND OF RELATIONSHIP EVEN IN FRIENDSHIP.
yeahs. my friend once said that... her bf would want her to tell him everything. because then they can start fixing it. its sorta like avoiding or something. idk
@JadedJanissary@xanga - i agree...it wouldn't hurt.