Monday, 08 June 2009
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Ruining Dates with Technology
Just because you have technology doesn't always mean you should use it. Whether or not you are aware of it, there's etiquette that goes along with using devices that fit in your purse or pocket. Some rules are more common sense than others, but this one should be obvious as a common courtesy: don't wear earphones while on a date.And yet, on a recent date at the movies, the girl I was with broke that rule. She decided she was going to whip out her iPod while we were walking back through the mall to the car (the theater is inside the mall). As you might imagine, I gave her a look as if to say, "What are you doing?" And she looked back like, "What?"
Really? Are you that in love with your mp3 player? That kind of rudeness boggles the mind.
Probably a more common experience and one that might have happened to you on a date is the girl or guy who tries to text while you're eating. I can understand carrying on a conversation if you find out your grandmother is in the hospital. Otherwise, though, just check your phone and maybe make a quick reply (note: one reply, singular). Your date shouldn't have to compete with your cell or any other device for your attention.
For more on iPod and text etiquette, see here and here. And remember, very simply, respect is the name of the dating game.
Have you ever had a date ruined by a cell phone or other handheld device?
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- From: awinnerisyou@hardestlevel
- Name: Joe Justice
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Comments (47)
My boyfriend has an iphone and is constantly checking either his texts, missed calls, emails, random things on the internet, playing games, etc. It's sooo frustrating. But he's getting slightly better about it ever since I mentioned how much it bothers me.
sometimes people text others because they are bored (or they don't like the person they're out on a date with, lol). I wouldn't do that to anyone unless i needed some saving from (i've had to text a friend to come pick me up so I wouldn't be with this girl- she was crazy).
I haven't. thankfully. And I try not to. If I'm even hanging out with someone that I'm interested in I try to not use my cell phone as much as possible. I'll check the text, if I get one, and if it's not important, I don't reply until after they're gone.
Ok, listening to your ipod while on a date....um, not cool. Listening to your ipod with one earbud and sharing with your date, maybe?
I once went on a date and the guy got REALLY pissed I was even reading a text I got from someone...he wanted my exclusive attention. I understand why but he got angry which was a warning sign so I didn't date him anymore. But it did make me more aware of being polite with using my phone while on a date...
Mad props to this post. I dated this guy who would text multiple times in the middle of our dates, and not think anything of it. If he wanted to read it to see if it was important, fine. But he was carrying on conversations while he's out with me. Totally rude. The worst was when we were fooling around one time and he decided to answer a call and talk to his friend about nothing in the middle of it. Wow, I can't believe I ever dated him.
I'm not exactly on the dating scene, but my boyfriend sure bugs the crap out of me with his phone. He's texting constantly, whether we're on the couch, out to dinner, or in the middle of the night! (to be fair, he doesn't get off work til midnight, and has a friend who works the overnight shift)
Its gotten so bad before, we were out with family and my grandpa commented on it, but he's still oblivious! Some people are just that unaware of how rude they are being.I haven't ever experienced that, but doing that kind of thing is ridiculously rude. I can't imagine why anyone would think it was appropriate.
ummm..maybe she not interested??????
What a douchebaguette lol.
My boyfriend has a G1 and it really bugs me when we are having dinner and people are texting him. I think it's rude when we are trying to have alone time and his phone is constantly going off.
It's really the technology in relationships that bother me, but more so when it's on the train. About 3/5 times, there is always someone blasting their iPod (and sometimes even a boombox). I can hear it from 5 seats away. There was the one time one guy asked someone to turn it down and the guy started flipping out, saying, "I bought a ticket so I have a right to be here. You can just fucking move." The other guy responded back by saying, "Just turn it down a bit. That's all I'm asking." But the guy still was being a douche about it. Being passive about alot of things, I didn't say anything to him. But in sense, buying a train ticket gives you the privilege to be on the train, but not to blast your headphones.
Wow that isn't only proper etiquette, it's pretty rude to just stick earphones in your ear when you're on a date.
Well... that's crappy. Maybe she was trying to look cool. I know that in highschool kids used to put in the earphones to try and make themselves look chill, or whatever.
no nevr i cant imajin daytin sumwun who wud do that
i have always been kind and considerate with people when i'm out on a date so i never whip my phone or even ipod out to check anything unless we were lost and needed directions. i was out on a date with a guy one time and he whipped out his phone to check his messages and texts and i got out of the restaurant door as fast as i can because basically that was the end of the relationship. he obviously didn't want to be on that date with me as much as he said he wanted to. it's rude when people do that. i understand that you do that in front of people you normally hang out with but if you're trying to get to know someone, at least pretend like you're interested until the dates over. that's just my opinion.
Yeah, I have, it was rather annoying the fact that she kept texting while we were on the date, as if I were so boring she'd much rather be texting whomever decides to, or whomever she decides to. So, that didn't hold over well for me considering I had turned my phone off for the date so I wouldn't be distracted by ambient interactions.
I love to text, but I'll only check my phone while my date's in the restroom or something. I can't stand people that are rude enough to call someone else or text while on a date.
And actually..my current BF has a old friend (female, might I add) that calls when we're on dates. I hate it.
But anyways, good post. I think everyone should know their date technology etiquette.
(I would've been offended by my date pulling out their iPod, too..btw)
@onlysortofirish - I used to do that with my ex. It's kind of sweet when you have lots of love songs (it was my mp3 lol) and he was like "look, we can describe our relationship in song!" Super-cute.
and wow..I'm glad you didn't date that guy anymore. you were just reading 1 text. I mean, what if it had been an emergency? That's a bit controlling.
hmm wow what was that girl thinking? putting in her earphones on a date?! some people these days I tell ya...
but no never had that happen... usually if I'm on a date or something I'll just check my phone really quickly and maybe give a quick reply... but I try to be polite and respectful... cause that's the way I'd expect him to treat me.
I've heard of this one disaster technology date in which the guy said, "Hey can we go home and continue this conversation on AIM?" Suffice to say, they didn't go on a second date...
ive had a text here & there. sometimes id have to answer them. but NEVER, EVER the ipod
Not just a date--my boyfriend constantly texts and even when I'm in the middle of talking, he just whips out his phone and continues a conversation with someone else via text messaging. It's so rude that I want to take his phone and throw it far away. Really? Is he going to DIE if he doesn't check the oh, so important text message that's obviously waiting for him? The least he could do is say, "Excuse me for a second." and then text the person back, much like one would do if it was an actual person interrupting the conversation.
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yea texting, but it was with my bf. we've been together for a while now, so these things are ok lol. but seriously, that girl was so rude! was she really not feeling the date THAT badly??
I deliberately ruined a "date" by texting a friend while the guy wasn't looking, just to have my friend text back and thus giving me a reason to call her. I ended up calling her twice in the middle of our date, and eventually we ended up meeting with her. If you're asking why, it's because the guy was a total loser (I met him online so I wasn't aware of this already). Not only was I not interested in him, he seemed to have little interest in me, despite the fact that HE was the one who wanted to meet.
If the guy I'm on a [casual] date with is someone I've known for a little bit, I don't think it's as bad to text or something. Phone calls are a different story, though. I might answer them just to see if it's important, but I won't talk for long. iPods are just a big NO. That's really rude and unnecessary.
The Ipod thing is just rude. Personally, when I'm on a date, or even just hanging out with someone I want to know better, I put my phone on vibrate so the girl doesn't even have to hear it if it rings. I may check my phone when she goes to the bathroom (she probably is too) but it can wait at least until then because if it were important, it would be a phone call, not a text. Recently, I was hanging out with a girl and she kept getting text messages from a friend. She would check it, send a quick response that, for most people would have ended the conversation, but for this person didn't. It might have bothered me except that she told me that it was annoying her too and eventually she just ignored it entirely. That is okay, because she kept her attention on me/the conversation. When the phone takes priority, it may be a sign the date is over.
Using technology while on a date is quite disrespectful to the other person. Although, i haven't had any dates gone wrong as such, but they have used it while i was there, and it makes me feel like a phone is worth more than i am. If i receive a text msg or a call, i usually ignore it (ill read it secretly but i wont reply) wait til the dates over, or while im in the toilet, i pull out my phone and text back, but not likely infront of the other person.
Using an ipod on a date is not on. its kinda implies "I dont want to talk to you, so shutup" kinda thing.