I met my ex-husband online, did I tell you that?
He was living in New York - I was living in NW Indiana. We met in a chat room and hit it off right from the start. We soon moved to calling each other on the phone, exchanging email and snail mail. We would send each other gifts for the holidays. More than once I sent him candy, a favorite of his. He once sent me a teddy bear. It was truly a long-distance romance.
After moving in together, we spent a very short time being engaged. One warm day in November we were married at the City Hall in Norfolk, Virginia. We spent the next seven years together realizing that while we were great friends, we were not great lovers and ultimately not meant for each other. We separated and went our own ways. I haven't talked to him in over two years now, I would say. He was my best friend, and although I am fairly certain he hates me, I do not hate him.
That was over ten years ago, and the world has changed.
I am mistrustful of the Internet now. I feel I never really know who I'm chatting with, and when I do meet a person they're often not much of what they say they were online. Pics sent to me are old ones, lies are told about marriage status. All sorts of nonsense ensues.
I am grateful for the Internet for all the information it gives us. And where else would we fellow bloggers get the opportunity to write our hearts out and post it for the world to see?
I just wish that in regard to personal relationships, people would for once be honest. Then again, dishonesty in relationships has been going on for all eternity, why would it change because we're typing instead of speaking?
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Comments (25)
Because men feel the need to make themselves a lot better than what they really are to attract the person of their dreams. And most would lie a bit here and there about their physique, social status, income, and whatnot inorder to do so. And then there are some that are just doing it for fun. I have to admit when I was younger about. . . 15 or so, I went online saying I was 18 because well, it looks bad to say you're younger as it makes people perceive you to be an immature brat.
there are people who's honest. but knowing the difference between those people is just harder. i guess when/if you do create an online relationship, one must spend a LOT of time face to face before settling down. because that's the only way you'll really know each other.
While I understand where you are coming from (I was in a relationship with someone I met online for almost 5 years), I have just grown more cautious of the internet and the guys I meet here. Having said that, I have met a lot of really great people online since then, men and women, who are honest about their lives and who they are.
@AznFier@xanga - Women lie as well not just men
But yeah online dating is always going to be that way and when you get tired of it and try dating in the real world instead of online you will find unhonest people as well. They won't be able to lie about their looks in person but marital status, occupation all that will be just as easy in person as online
@kyleberg29@xanga - Yeah that's true, I didn't really think about what I was typing, should've put the general term... 'people'
It's just easier to lie on the internet.
@AznFier@xanga - Yeah and that brings up the question of who lies more men or women, of course most people will be biased based on what sex they are but who knows
Eh. I don't believe in internet relationships. I wont call you out and make fun of you for being in one, but if my friends ever told me the had a boyfriend online I'd roll my eyes in my head and blow it off.
Just because a few are dishonest doesn't mean it's acceptable to write off the other hundreds of millions of people.
I'm almost positive as well that face-to-face relationships can be hell and people you meet offline are just as capable of lying about anything and everything.
I am pretty honest about everything and I didn't lie when I dated online -_-
I think people are dishonest in real life too. It's a sad reality for some people. I think the Internet opens a whole new world and lets us meet people who would not otherwise cross our paths. I can't say it's a bad thing. I'm sorry it didn't work out with your ex, but it doesn't sound like it was because of the online aspect. I hope next time will be better.
So far everybody I've met has been exactly who they said they were.
I think it can work meeting online....but it all depends on the dating life of after actually meeting face to face and the dating life after. Ultimately it's the same thing as meeting anywhere else...but I do agree with the desire for honesty in all relationships!
This is a very mature outlook of online relationships, and it's worth considering.
However, I'm currently going down the same path that you did... met my current fiancee online, and we've been going strong for two-and-a-half-years.
I think that online relationships are just like offline relationships - if they're meant to be, they'll turn out great. I certainly think that online relationships are based on a much firmer foundation that in offline relationships, purely because the physical aspects of the relationship don't cloud people's judgements and skew their perspectives.
Very interesting blog, for sure.
People lie to make themselves seem more irresistable...sad but true. I am honest about who and what I am on my online posts but of course they may see it differently from their eyes also and vice versa. So I would say it's both lying and miscommunications...mostly lying.
So there you have it.
I've dealt with perverts who say they're looking for someone down-to-earth but really are looking for one-night stand experiences. I've dealt with men who are double their age shown on profiles but have lied through their emails about the crappy quality of their pictures. And I've also met some of my closest friends through the internet; just so happens, on xanga. There are all kinds of people, on and off line, and I think we take it for granted sometimes that technology is easy to abuse. There are honest people out there, as you are one of them, you just have to keep a clear head and keep your radars sharp. :)
I guess it depends on the people. Some people are genuinely honest and others are not. I would suggest to be cautious if you ever meet people via Internet.
Why does your ex-husband hate you? It seems like you broke it off in a peaceful way.
@MauTimHoaSim@xanga - I agree! Online dating is scary but there are great guys out there! You just have to weed through all the liars.
so far I think the xangans I talk to seems pretty honest. I don't understand lying on the internet...cause it's almost a given that you will be found out one day...either when you meet in person or through contradiction from your lies. lies will only spawn more lies...it never ends. No thank you.
Dating on the internet is akin to regular dating. In a sense, people can be fake and put their best face on for you in person. Likewise on the internet, I feel that you get a better grasp on someone's personality and the type of person they are, but miles upon miles of wire are hiding another part of that person that you can't see unless you dawn your own two eyes upon them.
Basically ... where one succeeds the other fails, and vice versa.
i talked to this guy for several years on the internet. and then met him and spent an awesome five days in Georgia. he was WOW! gorgeous. seriously. but that was that. (there was no dirty stuff b.t.w. im not a slut. had i gone back a second time..who knows. lol) i would never date someone over the net. you never know what they are doing way over wherever. there are enough people that cheat on the person they are living with. why would you trust someone who logs onto the net when he wants and says whatever.
I met my current boyfriend over the internet. I fell hard and fast and we talk on the phone often but i do get shy over the phone tho i don't act different then how i am when typing. I suppose its just easier to say things while typing but i'm getting used to talking to him on the phone which is awesome. I just so hope we don't end up like that :(.
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Thanks